So today I'm supposed to go to the Phoenix Open (it has some other name that we don't care about) today with my coworker and my boss. My company doesn't have a tent, so we're going as guests of a Big 4 accounting firm. There's something that irks me about the hype of this event that is conjuring up bad memories that I feel a need to get off my chest.
My coworker has said more than once that he's excited to "go party." First, the guy's almost 50, and call me judgemental, but I think he's a wee bit old to be excited to "party." Second, the phrase gives me the heebie jeebies. You see, I dated a guy who liked to "party." Only when he did it, it meant not only drinking, but usually using another illegal substance of some sort.
While I can't believe I'm admitting this, I don't necessarily look down on the use of drugs in all instances. I believe that adults can be capable of using them (okay, more like weed) now and then and be responsible functioning members of society. But this boyfriend was not necessarily responsible, and his use of recreational substances led to a lot of uncomfortable situations for me. And his choice word for his more out-of-control times was "partying."
I've let go a lot of things that happened relating to drinking with guys in my past. When I started dating Dan, I wouldn't even let alcohol into my home (I still don't keep much of it around) and the sound of ice clinking in a glass could send shivers down my spine. Dan's been amazing in his understanding of my issues and I've worked through a lot of things and turned a 180 on these particular peeves, but the word "party" still can make my heart beat a little faster.
I know my coworker doesn't know any of this, and he's just innocently expressing his excitement for a day away from the grind and couple of cold ones. But I'll be honest, I'm not necessarily looking forward to an afternoon with 20,000 (supposedly) drunk people. But I've also found that facing uncomfortable situations in a safe environment has been helpful to me. So I'll go and try to enjoy myself - it should be a fun day and it only comes once a year. But I won't be refering to today as a "party," thankyouverymuch.