I'd already posted once today and then saw that Kelly's Korner is featuring infertility stories in her Show Us Your Life series today. So, if you're coming here from there, welcome! This isn't an infertility blog - it's about our life since we got engaged, and infertility just happens to be a part of it.
Our story (the short version): my husband, Dan, and I started trying for our first child in April 2010, when we'd been married 6 months. I charted my temps to know my cycle and time our trying to the best of our ability. We had no luck in the first 12 months, which made us eligible for infertility testing. What they found is a progesterone deficiency with me as well as issues with my husband. We later got further info that I've kept private here (if you're dealing with MFI, though, and would like to email me about it, I'm happy to elaborate in private) that made treatment much more difficult. We were told we could try IUI, but that IVF with ICSI would be our best bet. Even for IUI, we'd need a vast improvement and that private little issue I mentioned makes improvement a costly balancing act (for us, due to insurance) and unlikely that IUI would truly be successful.
After weighing our options, chances, and costs, we decided that we were going to walk away from trying to conceive. We're not open to IVF (this was discussed even prior to our first RE appointment), and adoption just isn't for us (though it's wonderful for families who choose that route - we're not anti-adoption in general). So we've chosen to be childfree and make the most of our marriage and life together. We're not risk takers, and the low rates of success made the high costs hard to justify. It's not an easy decision to make, but we're confident it was the right decision for us. We're just thankful to be on the same page.
So technically, we're not going through infertility (treatment), yet we live it every day. We experience the same heartache and feelings of inadequacy that couples going through treatment cycles do. I go to therapy to deal with that stuff, and my husband, friends, and family are incredibly supportive. I identify strongly as "infertile" and hope to someday work to raise awareness and support for couples facing similarly difficult decisions.
To see my posts regarding infertility, click HERE
For some reading on choosing childfree living after infertility, check out Sweet Grapes by Jean and Michael Carter
Friday, March 16, 2012
Random Musings Friday
Hurray, hurray, it's Friday! Another long week. It was a pretty good week, but still a long one. I am ready for some weekend, people. We don't have a whole lot planned - I have a lia sophia show tomorrow and then we're celebrating our Irishness with corned beef and Irish Car Bombs at my in-laws' house.
- My mom flew to NY last night to visit my grandma and she flew Delta Airlines. Upon arrival at the airport, she discovered that Delta now charges $39 for a window or aisle seat. How do they get away with this? They have to fill the plane, right? So what if all the cheap (read: regular priced middle seats are gone) and someone refuses to pay (because according to my mom, you don't find out about this until check-in)? Then what? And what about people traveling with kids? My mom told me there was a passenger with her child that she couldn't even sit next to without paying $40 to do so. Ridiculous. I get that airlines are struggling, but this is a pathetic way to nickle-and-dime customers. Just go out of business gracefully, Delta. -- FYI, this is the first I've heard of this. If this is old news, please kindly disregard and move on.
- In less than two weeks, I'm going to Morristown, where I get to spend time with my friend Mrs. ESPN and meet Shana! Oh and I have a meeting I have to go to... an all-day meeting that will likely leave me wanting to lobotomize myself with a spoon. But I get to hang with Mrs. ESPN and Shana! Clearly, I'm excited.
- Yesterday, a package arrived in the mail for me from a wonderful friend, Kathy. We know each other through IF message boards - our (and by "our," I mean collectively as respective couples) diagnoses are similar except that just this week, Kathy celebrated the 1 year anniversary of being diagnosed with thyroid cancer by being cancer FREE! Yay, Kathy! Anyway, she sent me a really awesome gift - she found this beautiful print and decided it had Brooke written all over it. I'm in love with it, and I can't wait to hang it over my craft room desk:
Thank you, sweet friend!
- I met up with TJ last night for dinner. She'd booked a lia sophia party with me, which was converted from a traditional show to a catalogue show, so we decided to have dinner instead since we'd blocked the night off. Not making the connection between the closest meeting spot between us and a Radiohead concert in the adjacent arena, we showed up to a pretty packed restaurant. She was there before me and got a table, but as I was walking in, there was a large party who'd just put their name in. I overheard one of the moms say, "25 minutes to an hour? But we have kids with us!" Ummmm... since when does having children mean you get to cut lines in restaurants? This really isn't bitter me speaking. It's just kind of ridiculous and an example of how some parents these days seem to feel that the fact that they reproduced someone puts them above others. And they clearly weren't concerned that the wait was too long for the kids (there are other restaurants in the area they could have gone to instead if the wait was too long) because they were seated next to us as we were finishing dinner. So before anyone suggests that "we have kids, we shouldn't wait" was not what she meant by her comment, if the wait was truly too long, they had other options.
- I get to go to the doctor today for a blood pressure check. Fun shit. Only today is the first time I've used my new insurance, which basically now only covers catastrophic illness and one well-woman check a year. So basically, I get to use my lunch hour to pay about $150 for a blood pressure check. Yay!
You know the drill: have a great weekend and go visit Shana to see what's rolling around in everyone else's heads.
- My mom flew to NY last night to visit my grandma and she flew Delta Airlines. Upon arrival at the airport, she discovered that Delta now charges $39 for a window or aisle seat. How do they get away with this? They have to fill the plane, right? So what if all the cheap (read: regular priced middle seats are gone) and someone refuses to pay (because according to my mom, you don't find out about this until check-in)? Then what? And what about people traveling with kids? My mom told me there was a passenger with her child that she couldn't even sit next to without paying $40 to do so. Ridiculous. I get that airlines are struggling, but this is a pathetic way to nickle-and-dime customers. Just go out of business gracefully, Delta. -- FYI, this is the first I've heard of this. If this is old news, please kindly disregard and move on.
- In less than two weeks, I'm going to Morristown, where I get to spend time with my friend Mrs. ESPN and meet Shana! Oh and I have a meeting I have to go to... an all-day meeting that will likely leave me wanting to lobotomize myself with a spoon. But I get to hang with Mrs. ESPN and Shana! Clearly, I'm excited.
- Yesterday, a package arrived in the mail for me from a wonderful friend, Kathy. We know each other through IF message boards - our (and by "our," I mean collectively as respective couples) diagnoses are similar except that just this week, Kathy celebrated the 1 year anniversary of being diagnosed with thyroid cancer by being cancer FREE! Yay, Kathy! Anyway, she sent me a really awesome gift - she found this beautiful print and decided it had Brooke written all over it. I'm in love with it, and I can't wait to hang it over my craft room desk:
Thank you, sweet friend!
- I met up with TJ last night for dinner. She'd booked a lia sophia party with me, which was converted from a traditional show to a catalogue show, so we decided to have dinner instead since we'd blocked the night off. Not making the connection between the closest meeting spot between us and a Radiohead concert in the adjacent arena, we showed up to a pretty packed restaurant. She was there before me and got a table, but as I was walking in, there was a large party who'd just put their name in. I overheard one of the moms say, "25 minutes to an hour? But we have kids with us!" Ummmm... since when does having children mean you get to cut lines in restaurants? This really isn't bitter me speaking. It's just kind of ridiculous and an example of how some parents these days seem to feel that the fact that they reproduced someone puts them above others. And they clearly weren't concerned that the wait was too long for the kids (there are other restaurants in the area they could have gone to instead if the wait was too long) because they were seated next to us as we were finishing dinner. So before anyone suggests that "we have kids, we shouldn't wait" was not what she meant by her comment, if the wait was truly too long, they had other options.
- I get to go to the doctor today for a blood pressure check. Fun shit. Only today is the first time I've used my new insurance, which basically now only covers catastrophic illness and one well-woman check a year. So basically, I get to use my lunch hour to pay about $150 for a blood pressure check. Yay!
You know the drill: have a great weekend and go visit Shana to see what's rolling around in everyone else's heads.
Monday, March 12, 2012
Free Your Mind... Double Up
I didn't free my mind last Monday. Last week was just nuts with work and I just didn't get to it. So I'm doubling up today and posting a whopping 10 questions.
21. Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton? Joyful simpleton. I've never been a genius, though, so I guess I don't have that to compare to. I do know I don't like to be worried or stressed, though, so to be joyful - even if I am an idiot - seems preferable.
22. Why are you, you? Because of my parents, my sister, my husband, my friends, my past boyfriends. Everyone I’ve met, and every life experience I’ve had has shaped me into who I am today. I'm also me because of my values, my goals, and preferences. I'm me because I'm no one else, simply and obviously put.
23. Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend? Most times. I hope to improve on my friend-being skills. I'm not always good at keeping up with communication. I think of my friends often, and rather than reaching out to see how they are or just to say "hello," my joyful simpleton brain moves on to the next subject. I need to be better at acting on my thoughts to reach out and say hello, make lunch plans, or send a card to let them know they're in my thoughts.
24. Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you? It’s more unfortunate to lose touch with a close-by friend because there’s no real reason. If someone moves away, I think there's more of an "out of sight, out of mind affect." Unfortunately, there's more of an excuse - you can't easily get together to do the things you used to do. So when you grow apart from someone who lives close by, it is more unfortunate.
25. What are you most grateful for? My marriage. First and foremost, every day and every night, I am grateful for Dan and our relationship. I'd be lost without him.
26. Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones? I'd rather not be able to make new ones. If I lost the old ones, I wouldn't have the knowledge to avoid making mistakes a second time.
27. Is it possible to know the truth without challenging it first? Yes. In some ways, truth is relative. In matters of the heart, you can know your truth without having to prove or justify it.
28. Has your greatest fear ever come true? Unfortunately, my greatest fear to this point in my life has come true. I'm surviving it daily. I suppose now something else will in time become my greatest fear and I'll deal with that coming true if and when that happens.
29. Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely upset? Yes. My nature is such that I remember when extremely upsetting times. Five years from now, I'll remember this particular upsetting time. I won't still be as upset, and the pain won't be as deep, but I won't ever forget it.
30. What is your happiest childhood memory? What makes it so special? I remember playing baseball in the yard with my dad when I was really small. I’d make him crawl around the bases so I could have time to retrieve the ball and tag him out. It’s special because it was so carefree, and because I think I knew then what a great father he was. It was just one of my favorite things to do with him, and thinking of it always bring a smile to my face.
21. Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton? Joyful simpleton. I've never been a genius, though, so I guess I don't have that to compare to. I do know I don't like to be worried or stressed, though, so to be joyful - even if I am an idiot - seems preferable.
22. Why are you, you? Because of my parents, my sister, my husband, my friends, my past boyfriends. Everyone I’ve met, and every life experience I’ve had has shaped me into who I am today. I'm also me because of my values, my goals, and preferences. I'm me because I'm no one else, simply and obviously put.
23. Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend? Most times. I hope to improve on my friend-being skills. I'm not always good at keeping up with communication. I think of my friends often, and rather than reaching out to see how they are or just to say "hello," my joyful simpleton brain moves on to the next subject. I need to be better at acting on my thoughts to reach out and say hello, make lunch plans, or send a card to let them know they're in my thoughts.
24. Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you? It’s more unfortunate to lose touch with a close-by friend because there’s no real reason. If someone moves away, I think there's more of an "out of sight, out of mind affect." Unfortunately, there's more of an excuse - you can't easily get together to do the things you used to do. So when you grow apart from someone who lives close by, it is more unfortunate.
25. What are you most grateful for? My marriage. First and foremost, every day and every night, I am grateful for Dan and our relationship. I'd be lost without him.
26. Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones? I'd rather not be able to make new ones. If I lost the old ones, I wouldn't have the knowledge to avoid making mistakes a second time.
27. Is it possible to know the truth without challenging it first? Yes. In some ways, truth is relative. In matters of the heart, you can know your truth without having to prove or justify it.
28. Has your greatest fear ever come true? Unfortunately, my greatest fear to this point in my life has come true. I'm surviving it daily. I suppose now something else will in time become my greatest fear and I'll deal with that coming true if and when that happens.
29. Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely upset? Yes. My nature is such that I remember when extremely upsetting times. Five years from now, I'll remember this particular upsetting time. I won't still be as upset, and the pain won't be as deep, but I won't ever forget it.
30. What is your happiest childhood memory? What makes it so special? I remember playing baseball in the yard with my dad when I was really small. I’d make him crawl around the bases so I could have time to retrieve the ball and tag him out. It’s special because it was so carefree, and because I think I knew then what a great father he was. It was just one of my favorite things to do with him, and thinking of it always bring a smile to my face.
Friday, March 9, 2012
Random Musings Friday
Hurray, it's Friday! Holy moly, it was a long week. It's the kick-off of our income tax season, and I am dealing with some royal asshats. I'll be having a well deserved glass (or two) of wine this evening. Anywho, on to my randomness
- I don't remember if I mentioned this here, but there was a poll where they asked people what they thought Mitt Romney's real name is. I admit I don't know it, or remember it, but 2% of the population polled answereed that they think it's Mittens. That means grown adults think this man is named Mittens. Like a cat. I heard this on the radio over a month ago and it still cracks me up every.time. I see his name. Mittens. Ha!
- I've become something of a hair product junkie. I switched stylists in December, and I love what she has done. She's punched up my color (a slightly darker and richer shade of my own color, so I only need it done every 8 weeks because I don't really get roots), made my cut fantastic, and shown me products that give me that big voluminous Southern hair I've always wanted but wasn't born with. But of course, being styled with a product for one day just isn't enough. So once I ran out of the stuff I had, I decided I would pretty much buy what she uses on me (all Redken). So in the last 4 weeks, I've gotten a plumper (Velvet Gelatine 07) for my fine hairs, a root pump (Rootful 06) that doesn't weigh my hair down (!) and a spray wax (Wax Blast 10) that gives volume and texture without back-coming. And, I sucked Dan in, too. His appointments are 2 weeks off from mine, and I went to his last appointment, and they were having a special on products. So I made him buy me a hairspray (Quick Dry 18), too. Yeah, no more Tresamme for me, baby. It's kind of sick to think how much I've spent on products (although the cost has been offset by friend and referral discounts), but I love my hair again after a long time of feeling blah about it.
- Kirk Cameron recently told Pusscake Piers Morgan his honest feelings on gay marriage. And he's being seriously criticized for it. Here's the thing though: what the heck did you expect him to say? He's an openly conservative evangelical Christian. I'm not saying there aren't Christians who are accepting of gay marriage or that I agree with him at all, but in general, I think we all know that many who identify as Christian believe it's sinful. I'm honestly not sure why anyone is surprised. What I AM surprised about is that anyone cares what Kirk Cameron thinks. I find it interesting that because he's a "celebrity" we expect him to be PC and open-minded.
- Kon.y2012. I'm not linking the video because you all are capable of Googling, but if you haven't seen the video yet, it's interesting. And everyone on my FB feed is calling to stop K.ony and buy bracelets to support the cause. Um, let me make a comment about the cause. The In.visible Chil.dren "thing" behind this has a website and if you read enough literature on the mission, they basically want to lobby congress to send more troops to Africa to fight and capture Ko.ny to bring him to justice. Here's the thing though, the guy has built himself an army of children (which I'm not saying isn't horrifying and disturbing), but he's still around, I'm sure, because he makes sure he covers his ass and is protected. Someone this wacked isn't likely to have plans to go down quietly. So to send troops after him essentially means sending troops to fight his army... of children. I'm not sure we've thought this through. I have a better idea: take all this plastic bracelet money and increase the bounties on him. You can't tell me someone wouldn't take the SOB out for a cool couple million dollars. Also, they've been trying to catch him for 9 years - my guess is this isn't as easy as selling some bracelets. But it's been fun to see how a viral video is turning everyone into experts on global issues. Hurray for inactivism (Heir to Blair wrote an interesting piece on this that's worth a gander).
- I may or may not have (read: definitely did) burned a baby shower invitation I received with a blow torch. It was a rough IF week and I definitely felt better afterwards.
Alright, I think this just about covers the randomness in my brain for the week. Go visit Shana and see what's on everyone else's mind.
EDIT: Now with product names!
- I don't remember if I mentioned this here, but there was a poll where they asked people what they thought Mitt Romney's real name is. I admit I don't know it, or remember it, but 2% of the population polled answereed that they think it's Mittens. That means grown adults think this man is named Mittens. Like a cat. I heard this on the radio over a month ago and it still cracks me up every.time. I see his name. Mittens. Ha!
- I've become something of a hair product junkie. I switched stylists in December, and I love what she has done. She's punched up my color (a slightly darker and richer shade of my own color, so I only need it done every 8 weeks because I don't really get roots), made my cut fantastic, and shown me products that give me that big voluminous Southern hair I've always wanted but wasn't born with. But of course, being styled with a product for one day just isn't enough. So once I ran out of the stuff I had, I decided I would pretty much buy what she uses on me (all Redken). So in the last 4 weeks, I've gotten a plumper (Velvet Gelatine 07) for my fine hairs, a root pump (Rootful 06) that doesn't weigh my hair down (!) and a spray wax (Wax Blast 10) that gives volume and texture without back-coming. And, I sucked Dan in, too. His appointments are 2 weeks off from mine, and I went to his last appointment, and they were having a special on products. So I made him buy me a hairspray (Quick Dry 18), too. Yeah, no more Tresamme for me, baby. It's kind of sick to think how much I've spent on products (although the cost has been offset by friend and referral discounts), but I love my hair again after a long time of feeling blah about it.
- Kirk Cameron recently told Pusscake Piers Morgan his honest feelings on gay marriage. And he's being seriously criticized for it. Here's the thing though: what the heck did you expect him to say? He's an openly conservative evangelical Christian. I'm not saying there aren't Christians who are accepting of gay marriage or that I agree with him at all, but in general, I think we all know that many who identify as Christian believe it's sinful. I'm honestly not sure why anyone is surprised. What I AM surprised about is that anyone cares what Kirk Cameron thinks. I find it interesting that because he's a "celebrity" we expect him to be PC and open-minded.
- Kon.y2012. I'm not linking the video because you all are capable of Googling, but if you haven't seen the video yet, it's interesting. And everyone on my FB feed is calling to stop K.ony and buy bracelets to support the cause. Um, let me make a comment about the cause. The In.visible Chil.dren "thing" behind this has a website and if you read enough literature on the mission, they basically want to lobby congress to send more troops to Africa to fight and capture Ko.ny to bring him to justice. Here's the thing though, the guy has built himself an army of children (which I'm not saying isn't horrifying and disturbing), but he's still around, I'm sure, because he makes sure he covers his ass and is protected. Someone this wacked isn't likely to have plans to go down quietly. So to send troops after him essentially means sending troops to fight his army... of children. I'm not sure we've thought this through. I have a better idea: take all this plastic bracelet money and increase the bounties on him. You can't tell me someone wouldn't take the SOB out for a cool couple million dollars. Also, they've been trying to catch him for 9 years - my guess is this isn't as easy as selling some bracelets. But it's been fun to see how a viral video is turning everyone into experts on global issues. Hurray for inactivism (Heir to Blair wrote an interesting piece on this that's worth a gander).
- I may or may not have (read: definitely did) burned a baby shower invitation I received with a blow torch. It was a rough IF week and I definitely felt better afterwards.
Alright, I think this just about covers the randomness in my brain for the week. Go visit Shana and see what's on everyone else's mind.
EDIT: Now with product names!
Friday, March 2, 2012
Random Musings Friday
Hurray, it's Friday! Finally! Gah, I've been sick all week. And unfortunately, I'm that sick girl at the office because it's month-end close and I can't work from home, so I've been getting the side-eye all week. It's this weird cold thing that has phases - yesterday was the sneezing sensation phase, where I felt like I had to sneeze constantly and had stinking between my eyes. Fun stuff. I plan to go home and take a long nap, as I've been needing it all week. Anywho, my musings...
- I went to Starbucks this morning as I do every Friday and almost got hit by a teenager who was going about 20mph in a parking lot. She stole the space I was preparing to turn into, then flipped ME off. Um, okay. I almost made a comment to her about slowing down in parking lots, but I didn't want to be THAT lady. But honey, if you're out there, keep in mind: I'm older, and I have better insurance (it's true, I'm amazed at what great insurance you can get for cheap when you're over 30 with a 95% clean driving record). Towanda!
- I get to go to NJ for work at the end of March, for sure. And I'm leaving at 8:45 Wednesday morning and land back here in Phoenix 53 hours later. Awesome. At least I'll get to hang with Mrs. ESPN and this other fun girl from Rhode Island that we like.
- My nail-clipping co-irker is going on his annual trip to Vegas soon. He's had a slot machine ring tone for his Vegas buddies - which plays at a ridiculously high volume for an office - for three months now. He talks constantly about his stupid trip, and the only thing more annoying than the lead-up is the fact that he'll be complaining for a month afterward about gaining 10 pounds from eating at buffets for a week (yes, a week. He's going to Vegas for a week. Insanity).
- Speaking of Rhode Island (who ever says that?) I got an exemption letter from a customer the other day informing me that I should not charge them tax because they're not registered to collect and submit to "Road Island." And it wasn't a mistake - it appeared that way three times in the letter. Doh.
- I've ordered something ridiculous like 22 pieces of jewelry in two weeks to add to my collection. Most of it was covered by jewelry premiums I've earned for hitting sales goals, but I still feel like a crazy jewelry lady. The sad part, I still have about 70 items on my wish list. Yikes!
- Oooh, I made a most amazing dinner last night that you should try. You know how I said I discovered that Dan loves chicken pot pie? I created a twist. I used my crock pot to cook 3 chicken breast halves in cream of mushroom soup as I usually do, but then I also added a can of chile in adobo sauce. Then, after making my rue, instead of adding garden veggies, I used a can of corn, a can of seasoned black beans and a can of mild diced green chiles. The result? Mexican Chicken Pot Pie. Soooo good!
- This Pinterest thing? Where they're saying we could all get sued for pinning? I think it's kind of crazy. I mean, I get where people would be coming from, but it seems like it would be a huge mess to try to sue people for having your pictures. And I kind of feel like if you put it on the internet, it's sort of fair game. Sort of. I guess I'm on the fence. I mean, at least you're giving credit to the owner because Pinterest links back to the original site. Tumblr, on the other hand, completely divorces the thumbnail from its source. That seems way worse, yet no one is questioning the legality of Tumblr accounts. Still, in my idealic mind, I'd be fine if someone emailed me and said, "hey, you pinned my stuff, and I'm not happy with that. Can you take it down?" Sure, no problem. Do we really have to start sueing people? Also, considering that I'm still waiting for Lars Ulrich to show up at my door with a warrant for my arrest for my Napster account, I'm not all that worried this will go anywhere.
Happy Friday! Hope you have a great weekend! And go see Shana to check out everyone else's musings.
- I went to Starbucks this morning as I do every Friday and almost got hit by a teenager who was going about 20mph in a parking lot. She stole the space I was preparing to turn into, then flipped ME off. Um, okay. I almost made a comment to her about slowing down in parking lots, but I didn't want to be THAT lady. But honey, if you're out there, keep in mind: I'm older, and I have better insurance (it's true, I'm amazed at what great insurance you can get for cheap when you're over 30 with a 95% clean driving record). Towanda!
- I get to go to NJ for work at the end of March, for sure. And I'm leaving at 8:45 Wednesday morning and land back here in Phoenix 53 hours later. Awesome. At least I'll get to hang with Mrs. ESPN and this other fun girl from Rhode Island that we like.
- My nail-clipping co-irker is going on his annual trip to Vegas soon. He's had a slot machine ring tone for his Vegas buddies - which plays at a ridiculously high volume for an office - for three months now. He talks constantly about his stupid trip, and the only thing more annoying than the lead-up is the fact that he'll be complaining for a month afterward about gaining 10 pounds from eating at buffets for a week (yes, a week. He's going to Vegas for a week. Insanity).
- Speaking of Rhode Island (who ever says that?) I got an exemption letter from a customer the other day informing me that I should not charge them tax because they're not registered to collect and submit to "Road Island." And it wasn't a mistake - it appeared that way three times in the letter. Doh.
- I've ordered something ridiculous like 22 pieces of jewelry in two weeks to add to my collection. Most of it was covered by jewelry premiums I've earned for hitting sales goals, but I still feel like a crazy jewelry lady. The sad part, I still have about 70 items on my wish list. Yikes!
- Oooh, I made a most amazing dinner last night that you should try. You know how I said I discovered that Dan loves chicken pot pie? I created a twist. I used my crock pot to cook 3 chicken breast halves in cream of mushroom soup as I usually do, but then I also added a can of chile in adobo sauce. Then, after making my rue, instead of adding garden veggies, I used a can of corn, a can of seasoned black beans and a can of mild diced green chiles. The result? Mexican Chicken Pot Pie. Soooo good!
- This Pinterest thing? Where they're saying we could all get sued for pinning? I think it's kind of crazy. I mean, I get where people would be coming from, but it seems like it would be a huge mess to try to sue people for having your pictures. And I kind of feel like if you put it on the internet, it's sort of fair game. Sort of. I guess I'm on the fence. I mean, at least you're giving credit to the owner because Pinterest links back to the original site. Tumblr, on the other hand, completely divorces the thumbnail from its source. That seems way worse, yet no one is questioning the legality of Tumblr accounts. Still, in my idealic mind, I'd be fine if someone emailed me and said, "hey, you pinned my stuff, and I'm not happy with that. Can you take it down?" Sure, no problem. Do we really have to start sueing people? Also, considering that I'm still waiting for Lars Ulrich to show up at my door with a warrant for my arrest for my Napster account, I'm not all that worried this will go anywhere.
Happy Friday! Hope you have a great weekend! And go see Shana to check out everyone else's musings.
Thursday, March 1, 2012
Two Steps Toward Freedom
Let's talk money for a minute, shall we? When I was in college, I got myself into a little bit of a pickle. Okay, maybe a lotta bit of a pickle. I was given a credit card, went nuts, and I maxed it out. My parents bailed me out and then... I did it again, but this time I had two cards. I lived in a world of constant stress as I tried to make payments until one day, shortly after I graduated from college, I hit a wall. I owed something crazy like $1200 in 4 days. I did credit counseling, during which time I was issued no new credit, my score tanked, and I had to learn to live with only the cash in my bank account. I used tax returns and extra cash and paid the debt off a year and a half early.
I don't think my situation is all that uncommon. I think it's a generational thing - we want what we want when we want it. For whatever reason, we may not understand how credit works and how to use it responsibly. We see plastic cards that buy stuff and we'll figure it out later. Even though I knew I had to make payments, I don't think it sunk in ever that I had to make more than the minimums and that the amount of debt I had would affect my future and buying power on big things like a car and a house. I think this is one of those lessons I had to learn the hard way - as a lot of people my age probably do - and it's a sucky one.
When I signed up for the credit counseling, I was told that when my debt was paid, my score would recover and I would be able to build fresh new credit. It turns out that wasn't so easy. My score has only very recently begun to rebound (and I paid that last bill almost 3 years ago), and I still can't get a card with a limit over $500. That's fine, I don't need more. I've learned to budget and pay for what I need with cash. It's funny though, because when I hear people say they'll do a short sale on their home and their credit will be fine in 7 years, I laugh. That's when you may be able to start applying for credit because it drops off your report, but it doesn't mean you'll have enough of it that anyone will trust you with their borrowed money. What is difficult is not having a safety net for things like car repairs or a water heater going out, or a medical bill. For that, I've had to rely on Dan. When Paisley got sick, a big portion of her bills went on his card. When my tuition for grad school exceeded what my company covered for a calendar year, it went on his card. When we moved into the house and had fun with some renovating and redecorating, it went on his card. I'm thankful he's credit-wise, but it doesn't mean we haven't built debt in our time together.
When I could finally be approved for credit of my own, I opened a couple small retail cards. I added another when I needed a laptop. I needed to establish a good payment history, and I finally had a true understanding of what that meant. I was careful to keep my debt ratio low and make my payments on time as well as pay at least $20 over my minimum. I've had them for about two years now and they have small balances that I make sure to manage. I'm mindful of making old mistakes. However, I hadn't ever completely paid them off.... until today.
Today, I got notice of my second lia sophia commission check, and I scheduled payments to pay them off 100%. They're weren't big dollar amounts, but they were more than my regularly budgeted payments and having that debt wiped to $0 is an amazing feeling. And it's a part of our plan - my cards get paid off, I dedicate what would have been the old payment to Dan's card. As I eliminate payments and dedicate them and lia sophia income to Dan's card, we hope to be debt free by July or August. At that point, we can contribute more to savings and do more of the things we want to do, like (hopefully) take vacations and renovate more of the house.
It feels absolutely amazing to see our plan being set into motion. It's just the first two steps, but I'm excited that those two little steps will help snowball us into achieving goals that would have taken longer to achieve without the opportunity lia sophia has provided me. And this isn't a lia sophia thing - yes, it's the opportunity I had (and you could too), but it's a matter of having a goal, working at it, and seeing the first part of the plan completed. It's the motivation I need to keep working hard at booking shows so that I can keep it going and bring us to a better financial place. It also shows me how far I've come - from stressed out 7 years ago to feeling liberated as I hit that "confirm payment" button. I'm truly proud of myself.
I don't think my situation is all that uncommon. I think it's a generational thing - we want what we want when we want it. For whatever reason, we may not understand how credit works and how to use it responsibly. We see plastic cards that buy stuff and we'll figure it out later. Even though I knew I had to make payments, I don't think it sunk in ever that I had to make more than the minimums and that the amount of debt I had would affect my future and buying power on big things like a car and a house. I think this is one of those lessons I had to learn the hard way - as a lot of people my age probably do - and it's a sucky one.
When I signed up for the credit counseling, I was told that when my debt was paid, my score would recover and I would be able to build fresh new credit. It turns out that wasn't so easy. My score has only very recently begun to rebound (and I paid that last bill almost 3 years ago), and I still can't get a card with a limit over $500. That's fine, I don't need more. I've learned to budget and pay for what I need with cash. It's funny though, because when I hear people say they'll do a short sale on their home and their credit will be fine in 7 years, I laugh. That's when you may be able to start applying for credit because it drops off your report, but it doesn't mean you'll have enough of it that anyone will trust you with their borrowed money. What is difficult is not having a safety net for things like car repairs or a water heater going out, or a medical bill. For that, I've had to rely on Dan. When Paisley got sick, a big portion of her bills went on his card. When my tuition for grad school exceeded what my company covered for a calendar year, it went on his card. When we moved into the house and had fun with some renovating and redecorating, it went on his card. I'm thankful he's credit-wise, but it doesn't mean we haven't built debt in our time together.
When I could finally be approved for credit of my own, I opened a couple small retail cards. I added another when I needed a laptop. I needed to establish a good payment history, and I finally had a true understanding of what that meant. I was careful to keep my debt ratio low and make my payments on time as well as pay at least $20 over my minimum. I've had them for about two years now and they have small balances that I make sure to manage. I'm mindful of making old mistakes. However, I hadn't ever completely paid them off.... until today.
Today, I got notice of my second lia sophia commission check, and I scheduled payments to pay them off 100%. They're weren't big dollar amounts, but they were more than my regularly budgeted payments and having that debt wiped to $0 is an amazing feeling. And it's a part of our plan - my cards get paid off, I dedicate what would have been the old payment to Dan's card. As I eliminate payments and dedicate them and lia sophia income to Dan's card, we hope to be debt free by July or August. At that point, we can contribute more to savings and do more of the things we want to do, like (hopefully) take vacations and renovate more of the house.
It feels absolutely amazing to see our plan being set into motion. It's just the first two steps, but I'm excited that those two little steps will help snowball us into achieving goals that would have taken longer to achieve without the opportunity lia sophia has provided me. And this isn't a lia sophia thing - yes, it's the opportunity I had (and you could too), but it's a matter of having a goal, working at it, and seeing the first part of the plan completed. It's the motivation I need to keep working hard at booking shows so that I can keep it going and bring us to a better financial place. It also shows me how far I've come - from stressed out 7 years ago to feeling liberated as I hit that "confirm payment" button. I'm truly proud of myself.
Monday, February 27, 2012
Monday Musings Free Your Mind
Buckle Up. This could be long. I didn't get to a random musings post on Friday, but it turns out my weekend was more fun/interesting to talk about anyway. Kind of. So now, brought to you by cold medicines galore and a head stuffed full of cotton, I bring you Monday Musings Free Your Mind, where I mash two posts together and hope for the best.
- Last week, we were informed that we get to go to Morristown for work. For a day. Yep, the VP, in his infinite wisdom wants us to make the trek to New Jersey for a one-day meeting. The good thing is, my boss doesn't seem to be seeing the sense in this, and it sounds like I may be going earlier and working from there for a day. Maybe. Hurray for not rapidly flying across country and back, but boo for being away from home longer, which is bound to make me cranky.
- Speaking of cranky, I have a cold. I spent yesterday on the couch for the most part while Dan finished painting the first color of the guest room. I did a fair amount of whining, and when laying on the couch had tired me out enough, I went back to bed. I hate that I'm at work sick today (because if it was someone else, I'd be bitching about them exposing me to their plague), but it's month-end close. My plan today is to get as much done as I can and go back home. I'm already starting to feel hazy.
- I spent part of Saturday with Temerity Jane sans Penny, who had some crankiness of her own going on. We met up, headed to Old Navy for flip flops, then went for pedicures. After that, we went out for lunch at the only place we ever seem to go (The Yardhouse is yummy, though). It's always nice to have girl time, and TJ and I see eye-to-eye on quite a few things, so that was fun. Then I shadowed a very successful lia sophia advisor and spent Saturday night with the pups, take-out, and movies while Dan went dirt-bike riding with the boys.
- While we were getting our pedicures, the nail lady asked if we were married and then if we had kids. We both said we were married, TJ mentioned Penny, and I said I had no children. The nail lady said, "yet..." And I said, "no, none for us." As much as I am passionate about raising IF awareness, the nail lady I'll never see again doesn't need to know, and I'm not going to explain it in public. Apparently, my answer wasn't good enough and she ended up saying something along the lines of (in her Asian accent) "your husband okay you no want his kids?" Umm, say what? Love how that became my fault. That's the shiit I deal with. She's lucky I've been in a good place lately and didn't accidentally on purpose kick her. She should thank my therapist.
Alright, now onto the next installment of mind-freeing questions:
16. How come the things that make you happy don’t make everyone happy? This really isn't a mind-boggling question, if you ask me. We all value different things and have different interests. We’re all unique and different things make us tick. You may love stamp-collecting, while I'd rather make headbands or wreaths or something. There's no right or wrong when it comes to what fulfills you.
17. What one thing have you not done that you really want to do? What’s holding you back? I really want to see Trans-Siberian Orchestra in concert. I guess what’s holding me back is making the effort to buy tickets and go. It always strikes me as a pricey show, and though I know I'd love it, I can't seem to justify it. One day, though.
18. Are you holding onto something you need to let go of? Who isn’t? I think we all have something that we know we need to let go, and we play it off like it's not a big deal, but it IS a big deal and we're not ready yet.
19. If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why? I love the Northwest and would love to live in Seattle near my sister.
20. Do you push the elevator button more than once? Do you really believe it makes the elevator faster? No! I don’t mess with elevators at all. If you push stuff, it might stop, and then I’ll be trapped. Elevators are terrifying, and you never touch them more than necessary. Ever.
Happy Monday Musings Free Your Mind, friends :)
- Last week, we were informed that we get to go to Morristown for work. For a day. Yep, the VP, in his infinite wisdom wants us to make the trek to New Jersey for a one-day meeting. The good thing is, my boss doesn't seem to be seeing the sense in this, and it sounds like I may be going earlier and working from there for a day. Maybe. Hurray for not rapidly flying across country and back, but boo for being away from home longer, which is bound to make me cranky.
- Speaking of cranky, I have a cold. I spent yesterday on the couch for the most part while Dan finished painting the first color of the guest room. I did a fair amount of whining, and when laying on the couch had tired me out enough, I went back to bed. I hate that I'm at work sick today (because if it was someone else, I'd be bitching about them exposing me to their plague), but it's month-end close. My plan today is to get as much done as I can and go back home. I'm already starting to feel hazy.
- I spent part of Saturday with Temerity Jane sans Penny, who had some crankiness of her own going on. We met up, headed to Old Navy for flip flops, then went for pedicures. After that, we went out for lunch at the only place we ever seem to go (The Yardhouse is yummy, though). It's always nice to have girl time, and TJ and I see eye-to-eye on quite a few things, so that was fun. Then I shadowed a very successful lia sophia advisor and spent Saturday night with the pups, take-out, and movies while Dan went dirt-bike riding with the boys.
- While we were getting our pedicures, the nail lady asked if we were married and then if we had kids. We both said we were married, TJ mentioned Penny, and I said I had no children. The nail lady said, "yet..." And I said, "no, none for us." As much as I am passionate about raising IF awareness, the nail lady I'll never see again doesn't need to know, and I'm not going to explain it in public. Apparently, my answer wasn't good enough and she ended up saying something along the lines of (in her Asian accent) "your husband okay you no want his kids?" Umm, say what? Love how that became my fault. That's the shiit I deal with. She's lucky I've been in a good place lately and didn't accidentally on purpose kick her. She should thank my therapist.
Alright, now onto the next installment of mind-freeing questions:
16. How come the things that make you happy don’t make everyone happy? This really isn't a mind-boggling question, if you ask me. We all value different things and have different interests. We’re all unique and different things make us tick. You may love stamp-collecting, while I'd rather make headbands or wreaths or something. There's no right or wrong when it comes to what fulfills you.
17. What one thing have you not done that you really want to do? What’s holding you back? I really want to see Trans-Siberian Orchestra in concert. I guess what’s holding me back is making the effort to buy tickets and go. It always strikes me as a pricey show, and though I know I'd love it, I can't seem to justify it. One day, though.
18. Are you holding onto something you need to let go of? Who isn’t? I think we all have something that we know we need to let go, and we play it off like it's not a big deal, but it IS a big deal and we're not ready yet.
19. If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why? I love the Northwest and would love to live in Seattle near my sister.
20. Do you push the elevator button more than once? Do you really believe it makes the elevator faster? No! I don’t mess with elevators at all. If you push stuff, it might stop, and then I’ll be trapped. Elevators are terrifying, and you never touch them more than necessary. Ever.
Happy Monday Musings Free Your Mind, friends :)
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Deep breath...
After receiving a lot of support and encouragement from people here, on the Twitter and on Facebook - along with an incredibly sweet card from an amazing friend and fellow IFer - I've decided to reveal my tattoo and what it means. Dan helped me with the concept - he paid for it as a gift to me, so this is something meaningful to both of us. Our wonderfully supportive friend and artist did the work.
Sparrow tattoos have a long history in tattoos and have many meanings depending on depiction, placement and angle. For us, though, the sparrows represent me and Dan. They mate for life and travel great distances, always to return home, and that's a profoundly strong symbol for us - we're in this together, no matter what. They're also a symbol of hope and renewal, and they stand for our hope for a fulfilling and happy life. The ribbon held by the birds is an infertility awareness ribbon in the colors pink and blue (it also symbolizes miscarriage and baby loss, which you would find more predominantly in a google search). We carry it together symbolically and literally.
This piece is different than most of my others in style. It's darker, and there's more chaos. One girl who saw it said she could see the pain. Many times, sparrows are depicted in a traditional American stylized fashion. Mine are more realistic (in style, not necessarily color), as I wanted them to demonstrate the reality of our situation - all too often, people dealing with infertility are told to relax, stop thinking about it, go on vacation, get drunk and "do it." In doing so, it often makes us feel as though our struggle is minimized, our concern falsified. Dan and I are real people with real diagnoses and had to make real (tough) decisions. My Our sparrows depict that.
Thanks for your love and support, friends <3
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Free Your Mind... uh, Tuesday
Oooops. I was off yesterday, and I spent most of my day putting down the first color on my tone-on-tone striped purple craft room walls. Most of the color, anyway. I didn't pull out the ladder, so Dan has the top 2 or so feet of each wall to finish. Then we'll tape off the stripes and lay down the darker shade, hopefully resulting in pure yummy purpley magic like I've been imagining in my head. The time I didn't spend painting was spent preparing to paint and taking a post-painting nap on the couch with the dogs. Fabulous.
We spent part of our weekend at the body art expo. Dan's leg piece took 3rd place! We were so excited for our artist, because it really is a fantastically clean piece of art. Body art expos are some amazing people watching. I get wanting to show off your ink, but some people were literally walking around in loin cloths and lingerie to show their skin. Craziness. And suspension artists - ick, gross. I'd seen it on TV, but it's much worse in person.
I also had 3 lia sophia shows in 4 days - one at my house hosted by my mother-in-law, and two others for friends. I did pretty well, and so did my hostesses. At the meeting last night, I took #10 in the division's top sellers for January, and it was just for a starter show, which I didn't even actually present at. Based on my sales so far in February, I stand to close out somewhere in the #4-6 range. Booyah!
Speaking of lia sophia, Amanda's show closes tomorrow, so get those orders in!
Alright, onto my next set of mind-freeing questions:
11. You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire. They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend. The criticism is distasteful and unjustified. What do you do? Having recently been the subject of unjustified shit-talking, I can answer this with confidence. And not only because of that, but the experience solidified what I knew was the right answer. At the very least, I’d tell them that they don’t know the whole story and while I respect them as my friends, I think they’ve got it wrong and they should get the whole story (or gasp, TALK to the subject,, even) before talking about her behind her back. And then I'd remove myself. It's hurtful having people talk about you.
12. If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be? Live to have no regrets. It sounds hefty and dull, but I think it's all-encompassing in life. Do what makes you happy, own it, learn from mistakes you make, and don't ever feel like you have to justify your life choices to anyone else. When you go to sleep at night, be happy with that you did that day. Live life so that when you're on your death bed, there is no thinking, "I wish I had...."
13. Would you break the law to save a loved one? Yes. I mean, it would suck to go to jail, but what would suck more is living the rest of my life knowing I could have saved someone else.
14. Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity? All true creativity is the result of some radical, “insane” idea.
15. What’s something you know you do differently than most people? I think compared to a lot of people I know, I’m not much of a risk taker. I value mental and physical comfort as well as certainty.
There we have it. I can feel my mind shaking free already.
We spent part of our weekend at the body art expo. Dan's leg piece took 3rd place! We were so excited for our artist, because it really is a fantastically clean piece of art. Body art expos are some amazing people watching. I get wanting to show off your ink, but some people were literally walking around in loin cloths and lingerie to show their skin. Craziness. And suspension artists - ick, gross. I'd seen it on TV, but it's much worse in person.
I also had 3 lia sophia shows in 4 days - one at my house hosted by my mother-in-law, and two others for friends. I did pretty well, and so did my hostesses. At the meeting last night, I took #10 in the division's top sellers for January, and it was just for a starter show, which I didn't even actually present at. Based on my sales so far in February, I stand to close out somewhere in the #4-6 range. Booyah!
Speaking of lia sophia, Amanda's show closes tomorrow, so get those orders in!
Alright, onto my next set of mind-freeing questions:
11. You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire. They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend. The criticism is distasteful and unjustified. What do you do? Having recently been the subject of unjustified shit-talking, I can answer this with confidence. And not only because of that, but the experience solidified what I knew was the right answer. At the very least, I’d tell them that they don’t know the whole story and while I respect them as my friends, I think they’ve got it wrong and they should get the whole story (or gasp, TALK to the subject,, even) before talking about her behind her back. And then I'd remove myself. It's hurtful having people talk about you.
12. If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be? Live to have no regrets. It sounds hefty and dull, but I think it's all-encompassing in life. Do what makes you happy, own it, learn from mistakes you make, and don't ever feel like you have to justify your life choices to anyone else. When you go to sleep at night, be happy with that you did that day. Live life so that when you're on your death bed, there is no thinking, "I wish I had...."
13. Would you break the law to save a loved one? Yes. I mean, it would suck to go to jail, but what would suck more is living the rest of my life knowing I could have saved someone else.
14. Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity? All true creativity is the result of some radical, “insane” idea.
15. What’s something you know you do differently than most people? I think compared to a lot of people I know, I’m not much of a risk taker. I value mental and physical comfort as well as certainty.
There we have it. I can feel my mind shaking free already.
Friday, February 17, 2012
Random Musings Friday
Happy Friday! Holy shizballs, this week felt long! Here's my brain dump:
- I just can't get into a sympathetic frame of mind over Whitney Houston's death. I respect that she's a person who died and that's sad for her family and loved ones, but in my humble opinion, she was a crackhead with a once great voice and her death was not surprising due to her lifestyle. I say "once great" because her continued drug use damaged it. She was a troubled soul, and I'm glad that she no longer suffers, but I always find it interesting when celebrities with troubled pasts pass away and we seem to forget the troubled part. Either way, rest in peace, Whitney.
- I had my second lia sophia show last night, hosted by my mother-in-law at my house. It was small and fun, but I was hoping for bigger sales for her. I'm kicking tail on my start-up sales goals, which is great, and I've gotten bookings out of both shows, so I'm thankful for a successful start. I have two more shows this weekend, and I'm just hoping they go really well for my hostesses, because I am so thankful they agreed to help me get started.
- Dan and I bought the paint for the craft room on Sunday, and I'm hoping we can get started with the makeover this weekend.
- Speaking of this weekend, we're going to the body art expo. I've never been to one and I'm really excited. I really have no idea what to expect. Our tattoo artist is entering one of Dan's pieces in a contest and I'm super excited for both of them.
- Confession: I got a tattoo symbolizing our infertility and - aside from posting it on Facebook with a vague explanation of its meaning - haven't really shown it to anyone. My confession is that I worry that people would think that since we didn't try treatment, getting a permanent mark of our experience would be making a mountain out of a molehill. I struggle a lot with feeling like we haven't "suffered" enough, and I need to come to terms with that.
Hope you all have a wonderful weekend! Don't forget to go see the other link-ups at Shana's site. Oh, and! Amanda's lia sophia virtual jewelry extravaganza ends Wednesday and a I threw in a special deal for orders submitted this weekend, so go visit her, too.
- I just can't get into a sympathetic frame of mind over Whitney Houston's death. I respect that she's a person who died and that's sad for her family and loved ones, but in my humble opinion, she was a crackhead with a once great voice and her death was not surprising due to her lifestyle. I say "once great" because her continued drug use damaged it. She was a troubled soul, and I'm glad that she no longer suffers, but I always find it interesting when celebrities with troubled pasts pass away and we seem to forget the troubled part. Either way, rest in peace, Whitney.
- I had my second lia sophia show last night, hosted by my mother-in-law at my house. It was small and fun, but I was hoping for bigger sales for her. I'm kicking tail on my start-up sales goals, which is great, and I've gotten bookings out of both shows, so I'm thankful for a successful start. I have two more shows this weekend, and I'm just hoping they go really well for my hostesses, because I am so thankful they agreed to help me get started.
- Dan and I bought the paint for the craft room on Sunday, and I'm hoping we can get started with the makeover this weekend.
- Speaking of this weekend, we're going to the body art expo. I've never been to one and I'm really excited. I really have no idea what to expect. Our tattoo artist is entering one of Dan's pieces in a contest and I'm super excited for both of them.
- Confession: I got a tattoo symbolizing our infertility and - aside from posting it on Facebook with a vague explanation of its meaning - haven't really shown it to anyone. My confession is that I worry that people would think that since we didn't try treatment, getting a permanent mark of our experience would be making a mountain out of a molehill. I struggle a lot with feeling like we haven't "suffered" enough, and I need to come to terms with that.
Hope you all have a wonderful weekend! Don't forget to go see the other link-ups at Shana's site. Oh, and! Amanda's lia sophia virtual jewelry extravaganza ends Wednesday and a I threw in a special deal for orders submitted this weekend, so go visit her, too.
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