Thursday, April 12, 2012

Two years

Today marks two years since we started trying for a family. It also marks a year since infertility has officially been a part of our lives. A lot has changed since two years ago. I remember how excited I was, assuming we’d be expecting in no time. We talked about names and I thought about how we would announce to our families. We thought about how we would decorate and I had a mental list of baby gear I liked. Things are very different now. The room that I once walked by thinking, “that’ll be our nursery” is now part-way through its craft room transformation. I’m working daily at dealing with the loss (even just infertility itself is a big life-changer for couples, much less deciding to walk away from trying anymore) and taking care of myself and my husband emotionally. Still, it’s a sad day for us. I miss this day two years ago when we were hopeful and optimistic for a family. I’m hopeful and optimistic for new things now, but there’s an empty space where a dream once was.

I am thankful that the most important thing - my wonderful husband - hasn't changed. He continues to be my rock, and we continue to be strong and loving. The last year especially has had big challenges and disappointments for us, but if we can get through this, I know we can get through anything life throws our way.


Shana said...

This was a really beautiful post. I've been thinking about you all day and sending you love and hugs.

Dee Stephens said...

Yes, thinking of you. Sounds like you've done a lot of work in the past year.

Erin said...

I'm so sorry that you are going through this, but am so impressed with how positive you've managed to be. You are a genuinely good and lovely person and it makes me want to punch the universe when it doesn't give good and lovely people the things they want.

Allyson said...

Anniversaries are hard, aren't they? Unless they're wedding ones...but anything else is just a dark day. I'm thinking of you and Dan today and loving on you from afar. I know you'll take care of each other today, just as you have over the past 2 years. Nothing about this is fair or easy and I'm glad you continue to put Infertility out there on the social media. I'm glad you're keeping the conversation alive and in the front of our minds. You're a beautiful spokesperson for something that can ruin a woman's dreams and life. Love you girl!! xoxo