Blanket wars

I present to you a conversation from last night:

Dan: I need to get my own blanket

Me: Why?

Dan: You keep stealing the blanket at night.

Me: I do not. I woke up last night and you were laying on top of it. If anything, you steal it.

Dan: Well I woke up and you were rolled up in it like a little burrito. Like you got up out of bed, rolled up in it, and taquito-hopped back into bed.

Me: Oh. Sorry.

Dan: What if I catch pneumonia from being cold?

Me: I doubt that. It never gets below 76 degrees in here.

Dan: What if I get gangrene and lose my legs?

Me: How are you gonna ge--

Dan: What.if?

Me: Then I'd feel really bad.

Dan: I'm surprised I wake up in the morning with a pillow. Or even on the bed at all, for that matter.