I present to you a conversation from last night:
Dan: I need to get my own blanket
Dan: You keep stealing the blanket at night.
Me: I do not. I woke up last night and you were laying on top of it. If anything, you steal it.
Dan: Well I woke up and you were rolled up in it like a little burrito. Like you got up out of bed, rolled up in it, and taquito-hopped back into bed.
Me: Oh. Sorry.
Dan: What if I catch pneumonia from being cold?
Me: I doubt that. It never gets below 76 degrees in here.
Dan: What if I get gangrene and lose my legs?
Me: How are you gonna ge--
Me: Then I'd feel really bad.
Dan: I'm surprised I wake up in the morning with a pillow. Or even on the bed at all, for that matter.