Wednesday, June 23, 2010

WTF Wednesday: Don't roll your eyes at me!

Last night, Dan and I were chilling at home, cuddling our pups, and I was getting into that comfy mode where I might fall asleep on the couch when there was a knock on the door. I answered it and there was a girl with sparkles all over her face and tatas standing there. Pretty much, she looked like this, but with more cleavage and 1/2 ton of glitter on the upper portion of her body:


By the way, if you google "sparkles, chest" you get that guy from Twilight. Most pictures of what she really looks like are banned by the network, so you'll just have to imagine it yourself.

Anystripperdust, the girl proceeds to tell me she has a name and is doing something, but she told me so fast I couldn't tell you what it was. Then she pushed a pad of carbon copy forms at me and said she was taking down addresses so she could come back with coupons to Walgreens, Target, Walmart, etc. It seemed fishy, so I said I wasn't comfortable giving out my address. She told me they don't sell or share our information, "see, it says so right here." Um, okay. Still no. I told her politely that I wasn't interested and said "thanks anyway."

My emotastic sisterfriend rolled her eyes at me, told me in flat voice that she'd pray for me, and stomped away. Ooookay, then.

Here's what's wrong with this picture. First, dearie, you're already at my address. Just give me my coupons. What's with the song and dance and writing down my address and you coming back? Why are you wasting a trip?
Second, I get the emo thing. I was angsty too, once. Or 3,754 times. I wanted Jnco jeans and a black wardrobe and candy jewelry, too. Something about that would have totally freaked my parents out and gotten me shunned by my jock friends, though. Point is, I get it. But if you're going to come to people's doors, how's about a respectable outfit? The glitter all over your chest isn't helping your cause, either.
Lastly, thanks for the prayers, but no thanks. Considering the fact that I don't pray for myself, it's not really very meaningful for someone to say they'll do it for me, though I appreciate the sentiment. I get that people say that because they really are trying to be nice and will be thinking good things for me, but when you combine it with an eye roll and the tantrum-style feet stomping, I hardly doubt you're sincere. I have some issues with the "I'll pray for you" thing anyway. I think some people can be really condescending about it, or maybe I'm just paranoid they're getting all Judgey McJudgerson on me. Anyway, if you're going to say you'll pray for someone, at least do it in a manner that doesn't make me think you're actually thinking to yourself "eff you, lady!"
So if I burst into flames today, blame the emo chick with the coupons and glittery boobs.
*Sorry about the brick of text - I swear it doesn't look like that in editing, but I can't get it to publish the same way.

4 comments:

BrownEyedGirlsMom said...

WOW! You mean Dan didn't come to the door to check out glittery ta tas? She was probably PO'd that it was you answering and not him!

MrsCaptKerk said...

It wasn't stripper dust. It was angel dust and she was SENT BY GOD!

Salt said...

If that's her work attire, I would be afraid to see what she would be wearing while she was off-duty from her coupon soliciting job.

JMJE said...

I applied for a job once by accident where I had to try to sell coupons door to door. Everyone wore suits though. Glitter was not allowed.