Friday, May 4, 2012

Random Musings Friday

Happy Friday! It's been a busy week, but I didn't write much of anything down for today. I feel ill-prepared. Oh well.

- Remember how I grew some flowers? Well, they've been growing like crazy, but no blooms yet. Still, I'm pretty proud of my ability to grow anything from seeds. And then Clover had to ruin some of that for me when she dug a giant hole in one of my planters. Clover is an asshole.

- I don't understand adults who cut in line (and Shana has a blurb about this too). I was at Food Truck Friday last week waiting in line to order a delicious carne asada fry bread. All of a sudden, two women came up and started talking to the woman in front of me, and the next thing I know, they'd decided to jump in line in front of me. Now, I know that there can be an awkward moment where a friend is somewhere in the middle of a line and you want to talk and be with them and stuff. I get that. If these women had asked, I would have been fine with letting them cut. Instead, all three grown women acted completely oblivious to the fact that they'd just jumped in line in front of me. But the universe and karma act in mysterious ways and one of the women who cut in front of me had their lunch stolen by some person who was either just as rude or wasn't paying attention to the numbers being called. And that stolen lunch could have been mine (although I stayed close while I waited, while these women wandered off to a table far far away).

- Dan was able to join me for therapy last night. It was a little odd because the counselor was running about 20 minutes late, so we weren't sure how long to wait. My appointment had been confirmed by her receptionist, so I knew I HAD an appointment, but I wasn't sure how long I was supposed to wait outside before giving up in the appointment. We decided we'd wait about five more minutes and she opened the door about 2 minutes later and said she'd gotten off track earlier in the day, and just couldn't catch up. No biggie. Anyway, it was interesting to be there with Dan. I learned some interesting things - like he does tell people who ask him that we can't have kids, and that he sometimes doesn't share his thoughts because it triggers me. I'd had a hard time wrapping my head around how this loss could be nothing more than "it is what it is" for him, and in some ways it is just that, and in other ways, he's been protecting me in the same way I protect him.

Anyway, the exciting news is that I graduated from therapy last night (after completing just about 6 more months, so I can cross that off my 101 in 1001)! The last couple sessions have not been as emotional, and I don't feel like I have as much "stuff" to work out. I still have bad days at times, but I can have my little cry or get angry and be over it. I carry guilt for some things, but I've talked about them and can be open about them and I don't feel the NEED for therapy as much I did back in November. And so, we decided that I'd fly off on my own and see how it goes. My therapist has been amazing - I don't know where I'd be in this process without her - and the only tears of the day were thanking her for her help and saying "good bye" for now. I know I can contact her at any time about little stumbling blocks for guidance, but I don't foresee scheduling a session any time soon. Therapy was truly the best gift I could have ever given myself.

Go check out the link up with Shana, and have a great weekend!!


Shana said...

Karma always gets the rude people.

And Clover being an asshole is just as funny today as it was the other day on Twitter. Poor Clover...she's not bad...she's just misunderstood. Like Sofie. I can't even imagine the terror those two would create together.

I'm so glad you got a lot out of therapy. I've just started seeing a new therapist myself. She's awesome and I hope it works as well for me as it did for you.

teacherJillK said...

Just wanted to drop in and thank you for your blog. Your openness inspired me be more open...after 14 years of trying. So thank you!!!
Jill :)