Friday, July 22, 2011

Show Us Your Life: Marriage Advice




I haven't participated in it in a while, but today's Show Us Your Life on Kelly's Korner seemed fun. Today's topic is marriage advice. Now, mind you, I've only been married 21 months and 6 days, so I don't know everything. But I do know a few things.



- Laugh a lot. We laugh all the time. Dan is a funny, funny guy. Sometimes he just gets in these moods and his only goal seems to be cracking me up. Those are fabulous moments. And keep in mind they don't have to be funny to anyone else. Some people just would not get our humor, and that's okay, because we do.



- Never go to bed angry. People debate on this one. Some folks think that if you're mad, you should just go to bed and rehash it when you're rested and the emotions aren't so fresh. We, however, are strong believers in not going to bed angry. That doesn't mean we solve everything before bed and that we don't have more to discuss the next day, it just means we get ourselves to a point where we can calm down and discuss things enough that we still want to cuddle up to each other.



- Be each other's best friend. I know, another cliche. But this one is so true. I've heard people say it annoys them when wives claim their husband as their best friend. I have some wonderful girl friends, but to me, Dan is everything a best friend is supposed to be. He listens, solves problems, is my rock, and my shoulder. He knows my secrets, fears, hopes, and dreams. He can tell me when I'm wrong and I can respect that. I trust him above all else, and know he always has my best interest at heart. He's the first one I call/text (we're more texters than callers) when something happens. He's my favorite person to do just about anything with. And I'm all of those things for him. I know that's what a spouse is supposed to be, but to me it's also what a best friend is.



- The last bit of advice is from a person I love very dearly, my late uncle. He passed away three days before my sister's wedding, and I shared this piece of advice in my maid-of-honor speech. He told me that marriage is a journey, and it's a long one. It isn't meant to be perfect. There will be good times and bad times. There will be times when love falters, and that doesn't mean you give up. At times, you may fall out of love, but so long as you never fall out of love at the same time, you'll find each other again. I know, it sounds kind of Debbie Downer for marriage advice, but I think it's a good thing to keep in mind over the life of our marriage. We can't expect that every moment of every day of our life together will be bliss. We've been fortunate that so far things have been wonderful, but knowing that sometimes there will be low points when one of us struggles makes me feel a little more assured that everything will end up okay so long as we never both give up on each other.


9 comments:

Megan Barley said...

thanks for sharing this advice! i have been married for 4 years now and still don't really feel like i have a lot to share but the truth is that we are always farther along that someone : )

i especially like your advice about laughing.

Megan Barley said...

oh, found your blog through KK : )

Shana said...

I think that is all fantastic advice. You and your uncle are both very wise. Thank you for sharing it.

And also...the picture of Clover with her ear back cracks me up every single time I see it.

Lori Alexander said...

Just remember that love is a commitment and not a feeling. (Just thinking about what your uncle said....don't ever fall out of commitment.) Loved what you had to say!

www.lorialexander.blogspot.com

Megan said...

Found you through Kelly's Korner. Thanks for sharing!

BerryMorins Bits & Tips said...

I like your blog post. May you and your husband continue to have many more blessed years!

Anonymous said...

Ok daughter, so I just have to say it again-You amaze me. Where in the heck did you get your wisdom and love sense? May you and Dan laugh heartily and then cuddle every night for the rest of your lives!

Oh and congrats on saving a ton of money this week.

Amanda @ It's Blogworthy said...

I love all this advice. I think the people who go into it thinking it's always wine and roses will not work out. That's the sad truth. Marriage is HARD WORK. Two completely different people together forever without getting on each other's nerves? But I honestly wouldn't trade it for anything. Kelsey is my best friend, hands down. I love my girlfiends but there is no one I can talk to or depend on quite like him.

400 Wakeups said...

Oh Brooke I LOVE this list!! And I couldn't agree more with it! Even though deployments are long and hard and frustrating, it's almost like we're still newlyweds. Even though we will celebrate our 5 year wedding anniversary this year, we've only lived together for 2 1/2 years of that. "Let there be spaces in your togetherness" Kibran once said. I prefer my spaces not be 12 months, but it does remind us that we would much rather be together an apart.