Monday, November 8, 2010

Someday I'll forgive

I've hesitated writing this 4th day of truth for a while, obviously. Clearly, I'm not doing these things on a daily basis, but taking breaks in between. This one has been on my mind for nearly 2 weeks, as I write and erase and rewrite it in my head. This one is hardest because I can't decide what to say, or how much. I don't want to dirty my happy blog with my past, but the only thing I can possibly think of when I read the description for 30 Days of Truth, Day 04, is this one thing.

Day 04: Something you have to forgive someone for

At some point, I have to forgive my ex-boyfriend. The guy I dated before Dan. The guy who promised I was safe with him. The guy whose drinking habits still make me want to hurl when I hear ice tinkling in a glass. The guy who made me question my self-worth and accused me of being mentality unstable when I told him he wasn't welcome to contact me ever again. The guy who will never recognize or admit that anything was wrong or broken or unhealthy about our relationship.

That's really all I want to say about it. I have things to work through in terms of forgiveness with this person. I'm thankful I'm in a wonderful place in life with a great and understanding husband, but I can't deny that my previous relationship will haunts me now and again. Someday I'll forgive.


BrownEyedGirlsMom said...

I think by "publishing" it you are on your way to forgiveness!

Tracy-Girl @ Then I Got To Thinking said...

Admitting is the first step to forgiving... glad you found someone else to treat your right and make you feel good about yourself.

Shana said...

Talking about it is the first step to forgiving. Good's not an easy thing to do. Especially when the other person has not made amends.