Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Another annoying thing well-meaning people say

"Whatever will be, will be"
"If it's meant to be, it will be"
"Que sera sera"

I have a feeling people are going to disagree with me on this one, but I kinda don't care. I'm ready to throat punch the next person that says any of those phrases to me. Yes, I know the people that have said them over the last week mean only the best, and are just trying to reassure me and probably keep me from feeling crushed if this house doesn't work out to be ours. But it doesn't make "if it's meant to be, it will be" any less annoying.

First, it's not going to make me want it any less. We want this house. Obviously. Or we wouldn't have put an offer in on it. We liked it from the start, looking past the imperfections and necessary repairs to see our potential home. We spent the weekend talking about how we'd decorate it. We're not delusional - we know there are a lot of steps between making an offer and moving in. But we love the house, and want it, and it was fun to talk about what we would do with it. The things we dreamt up aren't any different from what we'd probably do to any other house - we just have this one in mind in terms of visual reference. Someone telling me that there may be another plan out there in the universe for us isn't going to change the fact that I want this house.

Maybe people are trying to keep me from being disappointed if this house doesn't work out. I appreciate it, but I'll still be disappointed. It's a great house, and it's going to be a bummer if I pick up the phone and hear my agent say "you didn't get it." Yes, I'll wonder if we should have increased our offer - no matter how confident I am that we did the absolute right thing for us. But I assure you, I'll get over it. We'll find another house. We may like it more than this one, or we may like it less. But we will find another one we will be happy with. My disappointment won't last forever. I'm not going to cry or throw a fit, but I'll be miffed for an evening and then I'll wake up ready to resume the house hunt.

And I'm sure there may be people who read this and are thinking "oh crap, I said that to her." I'm not upset with anyone. I appreciate that you're trying to make me feel reassured and like everything will work out. I know things will work out. Right now, I'm just tired of the implication that this is all out of my hands and in the hands of someone or something else. I'm disliking the lack of control in this situation, and "whatever will be, will be" only heightens my awareness of that fact.

BTW, we're supposed to hear who "wins" the house by the end of the day. It's 4:33pm. They're really pushing my patience. I just want to know so we can move on to either another round of showings or an inspection period. Just.tell.me!


Athena said...

Good luck!

Amanda said...

Well I know I probably said it and I know I did NOT want to hear it when i was househunting, either. Truth is, there is NOTHING fun about it. It's stressful and awful. We were so depressed by the end of ours that we had NO joy at all during closing. it's not "as seen on TV" that's for damn sure.

Sorry you didn't end up getting it. Be miffed!! And get back out there because (throat punch me now) there may not be the perfect house, but it's the perfect one for you.

Shana said...

We've had a big secret for the last two months...we just bought a new house. I never blogged about it and I really didn't tell anyone about it at all. We weren't sure the sale was going to go through and after our nightmare wiht our last house, we just wanted to wait to see what would happen. We closed this week and I told my family yesterday. They were upset we hadn't told them sooner, but I really didn't want to go through the whole thing with everyone that you are going through now. It killed me not to say anything, but it would have made me crazy to answer everyone's questions all day, every day.

Good luck with the hunt. It's not easy when you are going through it, but the stress will be worth it in the long run.