I've been gone. Not even anywhere incredibly interesting. It's just been super busy. Last I posted, I was getting ready to head to Tucson for my friend Rachel's wedding. This is the story of what's happened in our life since. Get some coffee, it might be long. And grab me a cookie, please and thank you.
Our anniversary weekend was really fun. It started off with a pizza party for all the out-of-towners to meet. I quickly figured out where Rachel gets her "must take a picture of everything" obsession from. I kid you not, somewhere, there's a picture of me and my plate of pizza and salad. I'm posing awkwardly in it because I'm totally caught off guard by the fact that someone wants a picture of me with my dinner. The groom's family is from Spain, but now lives all over the world, and it was really fun to meet them. The super-cute flower girls (the groom's nieces) live in Miami and were super excited to meet Rachel's friends, including me, La Amiga Mas Importante (Spanish for "maid of honor").
On Thursday, I got to spend the day with Rachel - dropping some stuff off at the reception venue, having lunch, getting nails done, talking about friends we were both excited to see. Perfectly relaxing day. We went to the rehearsal (which was interesting and long, so very long) and then just Rachel and I and the bridesmaids went to a gourmet burger restaurant for dinner. Absolutely delicious. If you live in Arizona, you need at least one Zin Burger experience in your lifetime.
The wedding was gorgeous. I teared up about a thousand times during the day - my best friend was beautiful, she was marrying a great guy. It was all very emotional. Side note: I was never a very emotional person. Ever. I'm not sentimental, I don't find myself to be very compassionate. And then, I got engaged. Since I got engaged, I turned into what Dan calls a "mush pot." In fact, he calls me Henry the Mush Pot. Long story.
Anyway, wedding: gorgeous. It was so much fun dancing all night, seeing old friends. I was super nervous about having to give a speech, and I can't even begin to tell you how funny that turned out to be. I'll try though. So I'd had a couple drinks by the time I had to give it, but I'd also had a lot of water. Don't worry, I don't pee on myself. I'm just trying to emphasize that I was balancing out the wine with water. So I was at a fun point where I giggle at everything but I'm no where near sloppy or anything. So, the best man - the groom's brother - was up first. And he went on and on and on. For a while. And then said "and that's point one." And then he had two other points. And then, finally, he said "and lastly, on my wedding day, our uncle (insert uncle's name) sang to me and my wife, and so now I present to you, (insert uncle's name)." Um, yeah, the groom's brother is an opera singer and proceeded to belt out this beautiful song. I was listening, of course, but I was mostly also looking around at my parents and friends with wide eyes and giggling (quietly), thinking, "how the eff do I follow this?!" So the singer/uncle finished, the crowd went wild, and I got up to take the mic, and people start chanting, "Encore! Encore!" Say what?! So the mic is ripped from my hand and the guy sings again. At this point, I'm just dumbfounded, I lost my train of thought, had no idea where to even start. I have little recollection of what I said, aside from a very hilarious, "well, that's what you get when you have 10 years to plan a speech" (because the bride and groom were engaged for 10 years - helpful info) and I talked about how they take thousands of pictures of food (no joke). So yeah, that was my encore matron-of-honoring experience in a nutshell. I'm retiring from bridesmaiding and refuse to make any single friends.
After all that, I had to get up early on Saturday and drive back home to get ready for the BBQ I planned to celebrate Dan's birthday. We had a really fun night with friends, eating, drinking, playing Guitar Hero, and watching our friends' two-year-old trying to play Bocce ("dees baws weawy hebby"). On Sunday, we had to celebrate our friends' son's birthday at Peter Piper (really not fun hungover, BTW) and then I took Dan shopping for shoes and did some other window shopping. We had our anniversary/Dan's birthday dinner at our new favorite sushi place. All in all, a fabulous weekend of celebrating.
Since then, life has been more mellow, but still busy. We had a friend and her two kids over for dinner one night, I met up with Temerity Jane and Brie for dinner, and we had a garage sale this past weekend. Side note: garage sales are interesting, by the way. First, I'm amazed that people would want to buy my junk that I don't want. And secondly, at some point, it gets hot and the crowds die down and you're just sitting on your driveway with all your junk. Anyway, with our garage sale earnings and our cut from the sale of a golf cart on my mom's behalf, we installed a new security door and got our turtles a new tank... and the dogs got costumes. Money very well spent.
Up on deck the next few days: we need to prep our wall to be cut for the RV gate we're installing, our friend is moving in for a while, and we're going trick-or-treating with our friends' kids, which I'm super excited about.
Also, I just have to brag a minute, because this is adorable and funny. I'm a prize. Yes, that's right. Mrs. ESPN's daughter, Chatty, was in a soccer tourney this past weekend and came in 2nd place. Since she had to play against girls who are older than her, she decided she was entitled to a prize. And that prize is me. And Dan. See, we're watching Mrs. ESPN's younger daughter, Bia, the weekend before Thanksgiving, and Chatty decided that wasn't fair and decided that to make things even, she needed a babysitting sesh with the Awesome Kingstons, too. So we are apparently her reward for a game well-played. I feel so honored :)
Alright, that's enough for now!
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
The Second Year
It’s going to be a very busy few days, so I decided to write this now before I leave for Tucson for Rachel’s wedding, which will be followed by Dan’s birthday BBQ and then our friend’s son’s birthday party. Like I said – busy weekend.
It’s been almost two years since we said our vows and became husband and wife. It’s hard to believe another year has gone by. It’s been so full in so many ways, and so empty in others. I always remember hearing that the first year is the hardest. I guess people assumed that maybe for couples who didn’t live together before marriage, all the adjustments all at once would make for a difficult time, and I could see how that would be. Our first year, though, was a thing of beauty. It was a fantastic year, full of happiness and fun.
In many ways, today is very much like this day a year ago, with much to be thankful for. We still love each other deeply, and we have had many blessings. We’re healthy (mostly), happy, and are now homeowners. We have amazing family and friends surrounding us. Our dogs are awesome. We each have new opportunities on the horizon to keep us looking forward. In the last year, we saw both our siblings get married, spent time with old friends and made new ones, celebrated my 30th birthday, bought a house and did some major over-hauls, and I baked a lot. It's been great year in many ways.
Yet, there’s something missing. Back at this time last year, I think we both thought there would be a new member of our family in our lives. Instead, the last 6 months have been marked by diagnoses, infertility, and uncertainty about our future as parents. This second year, which should have been a walk in the park compared to that “hardest” first year, has been one of trial and heartache at times.
Still, it’s nearly our second anniversary, and I wouldn’t want to have spent the last two years with anyone else. Memories of our wedding are still among my fondest, and our love continues to grow. I still can’t believe I am the lucky girl that got to marry Dan.
Happy Anniversary, Buddy. I love you!
Oh, and happy birthday, too :)
It’s been almost two years since we said our vows and became husband and wife. It’s hard to believe another year has gone by. It’s been so full in so many ways, and so empty in others. I always remember hearing that the first year is the hardest. I guess people assumed that maybe for couples who didn’t live together before marriage, all the adjustments all at once would make for a difficult time, and I could see how that would be. Our first year, though, was a thing of beauty. It was a fantastic year, full of happiness and fun.
In many ways, today is very much like this day a year ago, with much to be thankful for. We still love each other deeply, and we have had many blessings. We’re healthy (mostly), happy, and are now homeowners. We have amazing family and friends surrounding us. Our dogs are awesome. We each have new opportunities on the horizon to keep us looking forward. In the last year, we saw both our siblings get married, spent time with old friends and made new ones, celebrated my 30th birthday, bought a house and did some major over-hauls, and I baked a lot. It's been great year in many ways.
Yet, there’s something missing. Back at this time last year, I think we both thought there would be a new member of our family in our lives. Instead, the last 6 months have been marked by diagnoses, infertility, and uncertainty about our future as parents. This second year, which should have been a walk in the park compared to that “hardest” first year, has been one of trial and heartache at times.
Still, it’s nearly our second anniversary, and I wouldn’t want to have spent the last two years with anyone else. Memories of our wedding are still among my fondest, and our love continues to grow. I still can’t believe I am the lucky girl that got to marry Dan.
Happy Anniversary, Buddy. I love you!
Oh, and happy birthday, too :)
Sunday, October 9, 2011
Is there rehab for this?
Pinterest struck again, people. I didn't take pictures of the whole project, but it was super easy. I had found a cute photo similar to this a couple weeks ago:
So I headed to Joann armed with a 20% your entire purchase (including sale items!) coupon. I picked up an 18" cone and a 12" cone from the floral department. You know, where they keep the foam wreaths and stuff. Then I went to the yarn section and picked up thick bulky yarn in orange, white, and yellow. I also got a glue gun (for $2.50!) and glue, since I didn't have one.
Before I started, I marked off my color-change points, splitting the cone up into approximate thirds (or so I thought - turns out the white was a little more than a third, but I was consistent with both cones). I started at the top with the white, and glued the whole first wrap-around with it. I wound it consistently around the cone, gluing about 1/2" every couple of rows to keep things anchored. I made sure to switch to orange along the seam in the back so that I would have an obvious front and back. When I switched, I made sure to glue the whole first row of the new color. I also glued the whole last row of yellow at the bottom, and had to overlap a little, since I hadn't wound perfectly straight all the way down. For the top, I made a small coil the size of the top and then hot-glued it right on. Super easy! The yarn in the inspiration photo was apllied a little more haphazardly, with strands overlapping and more like a ball of yarn would look. I prefered a cleaner look, so I wrapped my yarn neatly with one row right under the other.
I think they came out really cute, and put them on the mantle with some pumpkins for a festive touch.
BTW, all the Fall and Halloween decorations are 60% off at Joann right now, and with the 20% off coupon, I saved far more than I spent on some cute decorations for the house.
So I headed to Joann armed with a 20% your entire purchase (including sale items!) coupon. I picked up an 18" cone and a 12" cone from the floral department. You know, where they keep the foam wreaths and stuff. Then I went to the yarn section and picked up thick bulky yarn in orange, white, and yellow. I also got a glue gun (for $2.50!) and glue, since I didn't have one.
Before I started, I marked off my color-change points, splitting the cone up into approximate thirds (or so I thought - turns out the white was a little more than a third, but I was consistent with both cones). I started at the top with the white, and glued the whole first wrap-around with it. I wound it consistently around the cone, gluing about 1/2" every couple of rows to keep things anchored. I made sure to switch to orange along the seam in the back so that I would have an obvious front and back. When I switched, I made sure to glue the whole first row of the new color. I also glued the whole last row of yellow at the bottom, and had to overlap a little, since I hadn't wound perfectly straight all the way down. For the top, I made a small coil the size of the top and then hot-glued it right on. Super easy! The yarn in the inspiration photo was apllied a little more haphazardly, with strands overlapping and more like a ball of yarn would look. I prefered a cleaner look, so I wrapped my yarn neatly with one row right under the other.
I think they came out really cute, and put them on the mantle with some pumpkins for a festive touch.
BTW, all the Fall and Halloween decorations are 60% off at Joann right now, and with the 20% off coupon, I saved far more than I spent on some cute decorations for the house.
Monday, September 26, 2011
My Pinteresting weekend
Hey there! It's been a while, huh? Sorry. Not much has been going on, so there hasn't been much to write about, but I finally have a few things. Friday was the Poz and Infekt concert. It was the finals to play Fall Frenzy. We had a nice group going, including our friends' kids who were so excited to be there. We had so much fun with them. The concert was a blast - they pulled out all the stops in terms of making it a fun and interactive show. Unfortunately, they didn't win the finals and won't be playing this Friday. We were so bummed, but I highly doubt this will be the end of these guys.
We were lazy Saturday. Or at least I was. And so were these two:
I was lazy for a reason though - I was glued to Facebook waiting for updates on the birth of my dear friend Kari's daughter. She arrived in the evening after about 12 hours of labor. Her name is Brynn Marie and she is absolutely adorable. You know how some newborns are all "rrrreeeeeeaaaaaaaa" like baby velociraptor with their gangly fingers? (Come on, you know it's true - they can't all be cute.) Not this baby. She's 100% cute. But then, I may be biased since I'm her auntie.
On Sunday, we worked on a couple projects, one of which was my chalkboard menu for the kitchen. I had purchased the frame with a coupon at Joann Fabrics and was just waiting to find the right piece of wood to paint with my chalkboard paint. It had to be thick enough to fit in the frame and sturdy enough to withstand pressure when being written on. At the same time, it couldn't be too heavy and obviously couldn't be warped. I know what you're thinking: why not just buy a chalkboard? Well, what's the fun in that? So Dan finally found the perfect piece of wood and cut it down to the right size. He was anxious and painted while I napped, along with the inside of one side of our pantry. Kinda cool - now we have a chalkboard right there for jotting down staples we need to add to my shopping list. Not a bad idea, Dan. Finally, it dried enough and we hung it:
It looks a little boring right there all by itself, but I assure you there's other stuff right under it and my baking supply dresser and the turtle tank are right next to it. I couldn't write on it yet when I took this - the paint has to set for 24 hours - but I was just to excited not to take a pic. Isn't it cute? Yay, Pinterest! Stay tuned for my next Pinterest-inspired project.
What did you do this weekend?
We were lazy Saturday. Or at least I was. And so were these two:
I was lazy for a reason though - I was glued to Facebook waiting for updates on the birth of my dear friend Kari's daughter. She arrived in the evening after about 12 hours of labor. Her name is Brynn Marie and she is absolutely adorable. You know how some newborns are all "rrrreeeeeeaaaaaaaa" like baby velociraptor with their gangly fingers? (Come on, you know it's true - they can't all be cute.) Not this baby. She's 100% cute. But then, I may be biased since I'm her auntie.
On Sunday, we worked on a couple projects, one of which was my chalkboard menu for the kitchen. I had purchased the frame with a coupon at Joann Fabrics and was just waiting to find the right piece of wood to paint with my chalkboard paint. It had to be thick enough to fit in the frame and sturdy enough to withstand pressure when being written on. At the same time, it couldn't be too heavy and obviously couldn't be warped. I know what you're thinking: why not just buy a chalkboard? Well, what's the fun in that? So Dan finally found the perfect piece of wood and cut it down to the right size. He was anxious and painted while I napped, along with the inside of one side of our pantry. Kinda cool - now we have a chalkboard right there for jotting down staples we need to add to my shopping list. Not a bad idea, Dan. Finally, it dried enough and we hung it:
It looks a little boring right there all by itself, but I assure you there's other stuff right under it and my baking supply dresser and the turtle tank are right next to it. I couldn't write on it yet when I took this - the paint has to set for 24 hours - but I was just to excited not to take a pic. Isn't it cute? Yay, Pinterest! Stay tuned for my next Pinterest-inspired project.
What did you do this weekend?
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
I'm kind of a big deal
Seriously. Our friends' band, Poz and Infekt recently posted their newest music video for their song, (Party) After Party, and yours truly is in it. That's right. Me. In a music video. Well, in the last like 5 seconds of a music video (I'm the chick in light grey bouncing around when Poz does the row of low fives at the In N Out Parking Lot Concert), but still.
Check it:
Also, we went to their concert again on Friday. They're in a contest to open for Blink182 at Fall Frenzy here in Phoenix. They won the round Friday and play again in the finals on the 23rd. If they win that, they'll open on the 30th and we'll be there to dance our asses off.
I know I talked about them in a previous post, but srsly, you guys, this band is FUN! They've had a number of bands over the years, the most recently a heavy metal band called Revenant. And then they got the crazy idea to make a rap video, and their album, "No Coattails to Ride" was born. The songs are fun, hilarious, and the beats are awesome. I seriously just love them. Truly, check them out if you have a minute. And look for me in the video :)
Check it:
Also, we went to their concert again on Friday. They're in a contest to open for Blink182 at Fall Frenzy here in Phoenix. They won the round Friday and play again in the finals on the 23rd. If they win that, they'll open on the 30th and we'll be there to dance our asses off.
I know I talked about them in a previous post, but srsly, you guys, this band is FUN! They've had a number of bands over the years, the most recently a heavy metal band called Revenant. And then they got the crazy idea to make a rap video, and their album, "No Coattails to Ride" was born. The songs are fun, hilarious, and the beats are awesome. I seriously just love them. Truly, check them out if you have a minute. And look for me in the video :)
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
If YHL can do it, so can I
This was a weekend of renovation (on the small scale) and organization. We got a lot done. The laundry "room" got a makeover, my baking stuff got moved into the dresser in the kitchen, the green couch is gone (sorry, Paisley) and the sectional has been separated and rearranged to make it feel like less of a monster in our small living room. I also got a start on a couple DIY projects that will be coming soon.
First, the laundry room. Dan had talked about painting it when we first moved in, but hadn't so much as mentioned it since. Well, apparently, Saturday was the day he decided to not only talk about it, but do it. He went to the gym on Saturday morning and came home with some paint swatches.... paint swatches that made me cringe. Most of the colors chosen could best be described as "breastmilk poop yellow." Kinda icky. But he loved them. As we werearguing about discussing the color options, he mentioned that he wanted to put the red chandelier in there. This red chandelier was actually a gold chandelier that hung over the entryway when we bought the house and was replaced and then repainted the day after we moved in. It's not that I don't like it (it IS pretty cool) but not for that space. I had a better idea. So I decided to go for a give-and-take approach. I agreed to let Dan choose the color if I could pick the light fixture.
My grand inspiration?
First, the laundry room. Dan had talked about painting it when we first moved in, but hadn't so much as mentioned it since. Well, apparently, Saturday was the day he decided to not only talk about it, but do it. He went to the gym on Saturday morning and came home with some paint swatches.... paint swatches that made me cringe. Most of the colors chosen could best be described as "breastmilk poop yellow." Kinda icky. But he loved them. As we were
My grand inspiration?
The clothespin chandelier from Young House Love. Totally brilliant right? And perfectly suited for a laundry room. Upon seeing the tutorial, Dan agreed that it was a pretty cool idea and the red chandelier was nixed. So off we went to Lowe's where we picked up 300 clothespins, wire gardening mesh, and a gallon of Dan's color choice, Valspar Golden Avocado.
It took me roughly an hour to assemble the chandelier, between cutting the gardening mesh (wire cutters are a bitch) and clipping the clothespins. I was a little short on the number - I need to get another bag of 50 to finish off that little bald section as well as another full row to hide the bottom of the wire frame. I'm pretty psyched about the result though. In total, it took us about 3 hours to take our boring laundry closet from white-with-floral-wall-paper blahness to this (it's a closet, so hard to photograph, sorry):
I didn't even realize it at the time, but even the yellowness matches somewhat with YHL's color scheme. I want to get some baskets or something to put the shelf contents in and maybe an art print so the walls aren't so plain, but I think it's already a vast improvement. The chandelier was actually pretty heavy, and I thought hanging it might be a challenge. There was a glass dome light fixture - the kind where screws hold the glass on, ya know? (This is my clueless girl-meets-house lingo, BTW) Dan just made loops out of a heavy wire that he attached to the top of the mesh frame and hung them on the screws. So it hangs a little lower relative to the the bulb in comparison to the YHL version, but because it's a small space and the viewing angle is essentially straight up, you can't really tell.
And even though it won't be finding its home in the laundry room, the red chandelier is still haunting me. Dan is threatening to use the same fire engine red shade to paint our washer and dryer. Why he wants the room to look like ketchup and mustard, I'm not sure. But I have a feeling I may come home one day to find it done, and I'll probably hear "I told you it would look good."
Friday, September 2, 2011
Why I hate Facebook lately
For anyone who's been on Facebook the last couple weeks, you've probably seen the latest wave of posts that look like this: "I'm 4 weeks and I'm craving peanut butter." You might see it and stop and go "oh my, my friend is clearly pregnant! I shall congratulate her." Only, the post has nothing to do with a pregnancy, but is part of some clever little game spread via mass forwarding to - supposedly - increase breast cancer awareness.
Because I need to get it all out of my system once and for all, here are my issues with this nonsense.
1. The email explaining this little game (and others like it) tells recipients to post their status as "I'm ____ weeks and I'm craving _____." The first blank spot correlates to the month in which you were born, and the second blank is filled using a list of foods corresponding to the day of the month of your birth. It claims that the purpose of this is to be raise awareness about breast cancer, but it provides no actual resources, sites, or facts about the disease.
2. The "game" is specifically limited to women, based on the email. Men make up 50% of our population. They are the husbands, fathers, brothers, and sons of women with breast cancer. They can be an invaluable tool in raising awareness, and information should not be limited to women. Not to mention, over 2,000 men are diagnosed and 450 men die a year from breast cancer. Keeping this information from them can literally be detrimental to their health and well-being.
3. The deceitful pregnancy status does nothing to raise awareness if the only people who know the code are the ones who get the accompanying email forward. Which means that - assuming no one in my 200+ friends got the email as well - if I post the status, not one of them knows what the hell I'm talking about. Awareness? No, pretty much just confusion when I have to explain to them that I am not in fact pregnant. I'm pretty sure that even by the time I've explained that it's supposed to be about breast cancer awareness, no one will even care because they'll be annoyed with me for toying with their emotions.
4. Raising awareness - to me - means giving people information. Crazy concept, right? There is nothing informative about the color of my underwear (last year's game) in regard to breast cancer. Raising awareness means teaching people about detection through self exams and mammograms. It means providing resources to learn facts. It means spreading the word about the Race for the Cure and other benefits that raise money for research. Someone please tell me how "I'm 3 weeks and craving effing pretzels" does this. Please.
I realize that this may seem to be an odd thing to get so worked up about, but it really just pisses me off. Treating an illness as a joke is not cool. I suppose I should post about my favorite medieval weapon and say it's for testicular cancer awareness, because it's pretty much just as useful. I'm also passionate about this because breast cancer is sort of my chosen recipient of charitable donations. I've donated cookies for bake sale fundraisers for 3-day walkers as well as money. I donated my wedding dress to give terminal breast cancer patients a last wish. I didn't give my most favorite and exquisite possession to something I don't believe in, and I don't appreciate it being made into a joke.
Not to mention, I'm sure you can imagine that seeing faux pregnancy announcements isn't super fun for me. I don't find that much of a joke either. But this isn't just about me. Cancer treatments often make survivors infertile because of the poisons introduced to the body to fight the disease. So to "raise awareness" of breast cancer by pretending to be pregnant in a forum where survivors - who may now be unable to conceive in exchange for having their lives saved - may see it is truly a slap in the face. Everytime I see one of these status messages I will post a link to the National Breast Cancer Foundation and I will explain my above reasons until I'm blue in the face, if I have to.
Seriously people, think before you status.
And because I'm not a hypocrite, here is a link to the National Breast Cancer Foundation
It is also Thyroid Cancer Awareness Month in September, and I'm fortunate enough to have two survivors in your life. Check Your Neck, people
Because I need to get it all out of my system once and for all, here are my issues with this nonsense.
1. The email explaining this little game (and others like it) tells recipients to post their status as "I'm ____ weeks and I'm craving _____." The first blank spot correlates to the month in which you were born, and the second blank is filled using a list of foods corresponding to the day of the month of your birth. It claims that the purpose of this is to be raise awareness about breast cancer, but it provides no actual resources, sites, or facts about the disease.
2. The "game" is specifically limited to women, based on the email. Men make up 50% of our population. They are the husbands, fathers, brothers, and sons of women with breast cancer. They can be an invaluable tool in raising awareness, and information should not be limited to women. Not to mention, over 2,000 men are diagnosed and 450 men die a year from breast cancer. Keeping this information from them can literally be detrimental to their health and well-being.
3. The deceitful pregnancy status does nothing to raise awareness if the only people who know the code are the ones who get the accompanying email forward. Which means that - assuming no one in my 200+ friends got the email as well - if I post the status, not one of them knows what the hell I'm talking about. Awareness? No, pretty much just confusion when I have to explain to them that I am not in fact pregnant. I'm pretty sure that even by the time I've explained that it's supposed to be about breast cancer awareness, no one will even care because they'll be annoyed with me for toying with their emotions.
4. Raising awareness - to me - means giving people information. Crazy concept, right? There is nothing informative about the color of my underwear (last year's game) in regard to breast cancer. Raising awareness means teaching people about detection through self exams and mammograms. It means providing resources to learn facts. It means spreading the word about the Race for the Cure and other benefits that raise money for research. Someone please tell me how "I'm 3 weeks and craving effing pretzels" does this. Please.
I realize that this may seem to be an odd thing to get so worked up about, but it really just pisses me off. Treating an illness as a joke is not cool. I suppose I should post about my favorite medieval weapon and say it's for testicular cancer awareness, because it's pretty much just as useful. I'm also passionate about this because breast cancer is sort of my chosen recipient of charitable donations. I've donated cookies for bake sale fundraisers for 3-day walkers as well as money. I donated my wedding dress to give terminal breast cancer patients a last wish. I didn't give my most favorite and exquisite possession to something I don't believe in, and I don't appreciate it being made into a joke.
Not to mention, I'm sure you can imagine that seeing faux pregnancy announcements isn't super fun for me. I don't find that much of a joke either. But this isn't just about me. Cancer treatments often make survivors infertile because of the poisons introduced to the body to fight the disease. So to "raise awareness" of breast cancer by pretending to be pregnant in a forum where survivors - who may now be unable to conceive in exchange for having their lives saved - may see it is truly a slap in the face. Everytime I see one of these status messages I will post a link to the National Breast Cancer Foundation and I will explain my above reasons until I'm blue in the face, if I have to.
Seriously people, think before you status.
And because I'm not a hypocrite, here is a link to the National Breast Cancer Foundation
It is also Thyroid Cancer Awareness Month in September, and I'm fortunate enough to have two survivors in your life. Check Your Neck, people
Monday, August 29, 2011
A letter to my friends
I've been writing this letter over the past couple of weeks as I sort out my feelings, figuring out what I would want to be able to say to friends about what's going on if I had the guts to just let it all out there. For my real-life friends, this isn't meant to offend or make anyone feel as though they've done anything wrong. It's just me being honest and as open as I can be.
Dear Friend,
I may or may not have shared this with you, but Dan and I have a sort of secret. We are two of 7 million Americans (one in eight couples) with fertility issues. Both of us are affected – not only do we each have our own issue, but even if it was just one of us, we’d still be in the same place. One of us can’t make a baby without the other, so we’re in this together. We’ve been through testing, we have diagnoses. We have a realistic understanding of our options and our chances. What’s going on isn’t a result of not relaxing or not doing something right or not wanting or praying hard enough. It isn’t about timing, positions, or old wives’ tales. It can’t be fixed by adopting or not trying. I know it seems that everyone knows someone who got pregnant when they stopped trying or started the adoption process, but it’s not the case for everyone. Adoption is not in our cards, nor is IVF. For a number of reasons, Dan and I have made a decision we feel is right for us for the time being, and that’s to not move forward with any testing or treatment. Because of fear of miscarriage made more likely by my issue, we are actively avoiding pregnancy while not in the care of a specialist. We are in full agreement in this decision, and it’s a necessary break to get us to a point where we can re-evaluate if we will be trying again.
Please understand that though we made this decision together and are confident now, it wasn’t easy and it’s still very raw. There is a lot of grief in our home right now. Our hearts are heavy. My emotions are intense and irrational at times. There are good days and awful days. I want you to know, friend, that despite all this, I am happy for you as you grow your family. I am excited for you as you announce your pregnancy, and I look forward to spoiling your child and seeing you as a mom. That said, it isn’t easy for me to watch you experience things I long for. I fear I won’t get to tell my husband we’re expecting, see the ultrasound, hear the heartbeat. I may never get to decorate a nursery, feel the baby move, or give birth and hear that first tiny cry. My husband may never be a father, and my parents may never have grandchildren that aren’t my sister’s kids. So while I am happy for you, dear friend, my heart aches when I see your announcements on Facebook. Baby shower invitations make tears spring to my eyes. Pictures and videos of your little one, though sweet and appreciated, often make a lump rise in my throat. Little moments and glimpses into your life as a mom-to-be can make a good day go bad in a matter of seconds through no fault of your own.
My goal through all of this has been to grieve privately, and celebrate your joys publicly. It doesn’t always work that way, though. While I may not appear sad when you show me pictures or share something cute your husband said about the baby, inside I’m just holding it together. I would never want to take away from your moment. I will not skip baby showers, and I will not dismiss you as a friend for having what I desire. But sometimes, I need time. Sometimes, I may cry – know that if I do so in front of you, it means I trust you with my feelings of grief. Please understand that if I have to walk away or take a day to myself, it isn’t because I don’t love you. It’s because I need that for me. I’m constantly torn between not wanting to be handled with kid gloves, and needing some sensitivity. I don’t want you to not feel free to express your joy and share this experience with me, but I need you to know that sometimes it’s too much and I need a minute, an hour, a day to hash it out. I’m very conscious of my fear of becoming jealous or “bitter.” I’m not asking you to change how you express your happiness and share your family experiences, just to have a little awareness and understanding of how I may react if my emotions get to me. Because it truly is a case of “it’s not you, it’s me.”
There may be times when I withdraw into myself. I go through periods of days or even a week or two where the safest place for my emotions is within me. I may not call to hang out, or talk or text. I may be vague on Facebook. I may just be generally distant. It doesn’t mean I don’t want to talk to you or hang out, I just feel that I lack the energy and motivation to make the effort. I want to spend time with you, chat, and have lunch. Sometimes, though, I feel that I’m experiencing more reminders of our infertility and keeping to myself means less opportunities for that to happen. Sometimes, not talking about IF is achieved by not talking, period. So please, don’t mistake my distance for lack of care. Your friendship is still important to me. I’m just being guarded, and I’ll come around if you just give me time.
I value you, friend. I’m excited for you, and happy for your family. That happiness for you is a distinct emotion from my sadness, yet the former often reminds me of the latter. I will do my best to be a supportive and loving friend as you prepare for and experience motherhood. Just please understand that I am mourning something I never had, and even if Dan and I are successful in having a baby one day, this will have forever changed us. We’ve already had to accept many changes and losses since we started trying to start a family. I fear that everything will change, in fact, including my friendship with you. I worry immensely that you being a mom and raising your family will create a divide between us. I don’t want to lose my friends, too. I don’t want to be left out and left behind. Both Dan and I want to be special people in your kids’ lives and spoil them and love them, as we know you would do for our children.
Thank you for being a supportive and wonderful part of my life.
Always,
Brooke
Dear Friend,
I may or may not have shared this with you, but Dan and I have a sort of secret. We are two of 7 million Americans (one in eight couples) with fertility issues. Both of us are affected – not only do we each have our own issue, but even if it was just one of us, we’d still be in the same place. One of us can’t make a baby without the other, so we’re in this together. We’ve been through testing, we have diagnoses. We have a realistic understanding of our options and our chances. What’s going on isn’t a result of not relaxing or not doing something right or not wanting or praying hard enough. It isn’t about timing, positions, or old wives’ tales. It can’t be fixed by adopting or not trying. I know it seems that everyone knows someone who got pregnant when they stopped trying or started the adoption process, but it’s not the case for everyone. Adoption is not in our cards, nor is IVF. For a number of reasons, Dan and I have made a decision we feel is right for us for the time being, and that’s to not move forward with any testing or treatment. Because of fear of miscarriage made more likely by my issue, we are actively avoiding pregnancy while not in the care of a specialist. We are in full agreement in this decision, and it’s a necessary break to get us to a point where we can re-evaluate if we will be trying again.
Please understand that though we made this decision together and are confident now, it wasn’t easy and it’s still very raw. There is a lot of grief in our home right now. Our hearts are heavy. My emotions are intense and irrational at times. There are good days and awful days. I want you to know, friend, that despite all this, I am happy for you as you grow your family. I am excited for you as you announce your pregnancy, and I look forward to spoiling your child and seeing you as a mom. That said, it isn’t easy for me to watch you experience things I long for. I fear I won’t get to tell my husband we’re expecting, see the ultrasound, hear the heartbeat. I may never get to decorate a nursery, feel the baby move, or give birth and hear that first tiny cry. My husband may never be a father, and my parents may never have grandchildren that aren’t my sister’s kids. So while I am happy for you, dear friend, my heart aches when I see your announcements on Facebook. Baby shower invitations make tears spring to my eyes. Pictures and videos of your little one, though sweet and appreciated, often make a lump rise in my throat. Little moments and glimpses into your life as a mom-to-be can make a good day go bad in a matter of seconds through no fault of your own.
My goal through all of this has been to grieve privately, and celebrate your joys publicly. It doesn’t always work that way, though. While I may not appear sad when you show me pictures or share something cute your husband said about the baby, inside I’m just holding it together. I would never want to take away from your moment. I will not skip baby showers, and I will not dismiss you as a friend for having what I desire. But sometimes, I need time. Sometimes, I may cry – know that if I do so in front of you, it means I trust you with my feelings of grief. Please understand that if I have to walk away or take a day to myself, it isn’t because I don’t love you. It’s because I need that for me. I’m constantly torn between not wanting to be handled with kid gloves, and needing some sensitivity. I don’t want you to not feel free to express your joy and share this experience with me, but I need you to know that sometimes it’s too much and I need a minute, an hour, a day to hash it out. I’m very conscious of my fear of becoming jealous or “bitter.” I’m not asking you to change how you express your happiness and share your family experiences, just to have a little awareness and understanding of how I may react if my emotions get to me. Because it truly is a case of “it’s not you, it’s me.”
There may be times when I withdraw into myself. I go through periods of days or even a week or two where the safest place for my emotions is within me. I may not call to hang out, or talk or text. I may be vague on Facebook. I may just be generally distant. It doesn’t mean I don’t want to talk to you or hang out, I just feel that I lack the energy and motivation to make the effort. I want to spend time with you, chat, and have lunch. Sometimes, though, I feel that I’m experiencing more reminders of our infertility and keeping to myself means less opportunities for that to happen. Sometimes, not talking about IF is achieved by not talking, period. So please, don’t mistake my distance for lack of care. Your friendship is still important to me. I’m just being guarded, and I’ll come around if you just give me time.
I value you, friend. I’m excited for you, and happy for your family. That happiness for you is a distinct emotion from my sadness, yet the former often reminds me of the latter. I will do my best to be a supportive and loving friend as you prepare for and experience motherhood. Just please understand that I am mourning something I never had, and even if Dan and I are successful in having a baby one day, this will have forever changed us. We’ve already had to accept many changes and losses since we started trying to start a family. I fear that everything will change, in fact, including my friendship with you. I worry immensely that you being a mom and raising your family will create a divide between us. I don’t want to lose my friends, too. I don’t want to be left out and left behind. Both Dan and I want to be special people in your kids’ lives and spoil them and love them, as we know you would do for our children.
Thank you for being a supportive and wonderful part of my life.
Always,
Brooke
Showers, dust, and kiddos
This was a weekend of celebrations all around. First up on Saturday was the shower for my friend, Rachel, in Tucson. I'm her matron of honor, and the bridesmaids and I spent the last 6 weeks planning and organizing. It was actually really great how everyone kind of took on a task and ran with it. Two girls took on food and decor. The bridesmaid in NY handled the favors and had them shipped out since she couldn't attend. Another bridesmaid took care of the games and prizes. I did the cake and some keep-sake type stuff, along with the odds and ends that didn't fall into any other category. And it all went just beautifully.
Rachel's wedding color (or the color of our dresses, anyway) is latte. We went with a blue, cream, and latte colored palette to stay within her taste but add some color and make it distinct from the wedding. The cake was made to match the invite. One of the bridesmaids managed to find latte colored roses, the same flowers that Rachel is incorporating into the bouquets. Here are some pics of the spread (mmmm, Costco chicken and cranberry salad sandwiches) and decor.
After cleaning up after the shower, I hung out with my parents for a bit, then headed home and had the lovely privilege of driving through a dust storm. Funny thing, the news people have been calling them "haboobs." Apparently, it's an Arabic word for these giant rolling dust storms. I've lived in Arizona my whole life, and not once have I ever heard them called a haboob before this summer. Weird. But anyway, it was so dusty, I couldn't see more than about 40 feet ahead, if that. The car in front of me took his foot off the brake and literally disappeared. Thankfully, it didn't last long, but it was a stressful 10 minutes as I drove through it.
I finally got home and got to hang out on the NEW COUCH! Yay! I didn't take pictures, because it looks completely jammed in our living room right now. We haven't decided if our old couch will be sold or donated, so we have both in the living room right now, including the chaise lounge part of the new couch that's supposed to reside in our living room. We have stadium seating, people. Paisley parked herself on the old couch, demonstrating once again that I think she'd be perfectly happy living in a house all her own, so long as she gets fed on the regular. Once the new couch is placed properly in the room, I think it's going to be fabulous.
Yesterday was our friends' daughter's 2nd birthday party. I can hardly believe our little Princess Kadence is a two-year-old. She's just so much fun, and so adorable. She was all jazzed up yesterday at her party and talking non-stop. She just adores Dan, and always says "hi, Dan" in her tiny voice whenever he walks by her or she notices he's in the room. She got a ton of toys and had a blast playing with them, though her favorite gift by far was none other than Disney Princess Chap Stick. Our wedding photographer's wife and children were also there, and their 9-year-old son and 7-year-old daughter had a blast playing with Dan (and his iPhone apps). It happened to be the 9-year-old's birthday yesterday (which we didn't know until we got there), and after we left, Dan decided he wanted to go get him a gift. This kid has the most awesome sense of humor, so Dan did a great job picking out the perfect card and gift bag for him. It was really sweet.
Here's a picture of our piggy-tailed little lady enjoying her cake and ice cream. It's amazing how big she looks. I just can't wait to watch her grow up into a (feisty) little girl.
How was your weekend? Any celebrations?
Rachel's wedding color (or the color of our dresses, anyway) is latte. We went with a blue, cream, and latte colored palette to stay within her taste but add some color and make it distinct from the wedding. The cake was made to match the invite. One of the bridesmaids managed to find latte colored roses, the same flowers that Rachel is incorporating into the bouquets. Here are some pics of the spread (mmmm, Costco chicken and cranberry salad sandwiches) and decor.
After cleaning up after the shower, I hung out with my parents for a bit, then headed home and had the lovely privilege of driving through a dust storm. Funny thing, the news people have been calling them "haboobs." Apparently, it's an Arabic word for these giant rolling dust storms. I've lived in Arizona my whole life, and not once have I ever heard them called a haboob before this summer. Weird. But anyway, it was so dusty, I couldn't see more than about 40 feet ahead, if that. The car in front of me took his foot off the brake and literally disappeared. Thankfully, it didn't last long, but it was a stressful 10 minutes as I drove through it.
I finally got home and got to hang out on the NEW COUCH! Yay! I didn't take pictures, because it looks completely jammed in our living room right now. We haven't decided if our old couch will be sold or donated, so we have both in the living room right now, including the chaise lounge part of the new couch that's supposed to reside in our living room. We have stadium seating, people. Paisley parked herself on the old couch, demonstrating once again that I think she'd be perfectly happy living in a house all her own, so long as she gets fed on the regular. Once the new couch is placed properly in the room, I think it's going to be fabulous.
Yesterday was our friends' daughter's 2nd birthday party. I can hardly believe our little Princess Kadence is a two-year-old. She's just so much fun, and so adorable. She was all jazzed up yesterday at her party and talking non-stop. She just adores Dan, and always says "hi, Dan" in her tiny voice whenever he walks by her or she notices he's in the room. She got a ton of toys and had a blast playing with them, though her favorite gift by far was none other than Disney Princess Chap Stick. Our wedding photographer's wife and children were also there, and their 9-year-old son and 7-year-old daughter had a blast playing with Dan (and his iPhone apps). It happened to be the 9-year-old's birthday yesterday (which we didn't know until we got there), and after we left, Dan decided he wanted to go get him a gift. This kid has the most awesome sense of humor, so Dan did a great job picking out the perfect card and gift bag for him. It was really sweet.
Here's a picture of our piggy-tailed little lady enjoying her cake and ice cream. It's amazing how big she looks. I just can't wait to watch her grow up into a (feisty) little girl.
How was your weekend? Any celebrations?
Monday, August 22, 2011
I need a Pinterest project intervention
One of the things that we noticed instantly when we shopped for our house was that the bathrooms had shower doors. Meh. Dan said immediately that we'd get rid of them, but they didn't bother me so much. That is, until I had to try to give the dogs a bath and couldn't lean in very far to wash them and even then I was leaning on the metal door tracking. Not good at all. For Dan, it's even worse that he has to kind of scrounch down to enter the shower.
So it should have been no surprise to me to come home on Friday and find that his shower door had been evicted, and that mine was up next. I got way more excited than I should have because it meant I got to pick out shower curtains. Because we'd been talking about taking the doors out at some point I'd been surfing the net looking for a design I liked. I even pinned a few on Pinterest.
Unfortunately, all my pins were from online dealers, and since we were about to be completely without shower water barriers, they didn't do me much good. Off to Bed Bath and Beyond I went with my coupon to find a substitute. I was pretty excited, y'all. Shower curtains are kind of one of my "things." I love picking out a cool one and planning the rest of the bathroom around it. This time, since we already have all the towels we need and color schemes in place, I needed to work in reverse and find something that would go with our "milk chocolate" walls and the green and purple accents in each of our respective bathrooms (yes, we have our own bathrooms). I was pretty disappointed that I couldn't find anything with a chocolate or brown pattern with pops of accent colors. The only awesome think I found with purple was sold out and very hard to keep in stock apparently, according to the manager at BB&B. I went from BB&B to Target (which sucked even more) and then back and finally settled on these:
Not what I was expecting, but I found that I loved how they were both modern and organic. And even though the shower doors had been frosted glass, the white lightened up the room. Dan bought curved rods, which makes the tub space feel even bigger, which is very nice. Not to mention, he was able to hang them at a nice and comfy 6'7" off the ground, so he can step into it without any crouching, scrunching, or otherwise shortening himself.
Dan also took the icky old security door that was on the little shed out back, cleaned it, and sprayed it with new metallic paint to go on the door leading from the garage out to the patio. He was a very busy guy on Friday afternoon.
We have another big improvement coming to the house this coming Saturday, too.... a new couch! A sectional to be exact. Our living room is kind of odd with it's shape and multiple focal points. Even more annoying about it is the lack of seating with just the couch and our Cracker Barrel (thanks, Dad) rocking chair. When we have two other people over, we're one seat short. So we decided to fix one of those issues and ordered this lovely thing:
So it should have been no surprise to me to come home on Friday and find that his shower door had been evicted, and that mine was up next. I got way more excited than I should have because it meant I got to pick out shower curtains. Because we'd been talking about taking the doors out at some point I'd been surfing the net looking for a design I liked. I even pinned a few on Pinterest.
Unfortunately, all my pins were from online dealers, and since we were about to be completely without shower water barriers, they didn't do me much good. Off to Bed Bath and Beyond I went with my coupon to find a substitute. I was pretty excited, y'all. Shower curtains are kind of one of my "things." I love picking out a cool one and planning the rest of the bathroom around it. This time, since we already have all the towels we need and color schemes in place, I needed to work in reverse and find something that would go with our "milk chocolate" walls and the green and purple accents in each of our respective bathrooms (yes, we have our own bathrooms). I was pretty disappointed that I couldn't find anything with a chocolate or brown pattern with pops of accent colors. The only awesome think I found with purple was sold out and very hard to keep in stock apparently, according to the manager at BB&B. I went from BB&B to Target (which sucked even more) and then back and finally settled on these:
Not what I was expecting, but I found that I loved how they were both modern and organic. And even though the shower doors had been frosted glass, the white lightened up the room. Dan bought curved rods, which makes the tub space feel even bigger, which is very nice. Not to mention, he was able to hang them at a nice and comfy 6'7" off the ground, so he can step into it without any crouching, scrunching, or otherwise shortening himself.
Dan also took the icky old security door that was on the little shed out back, cleaned it, and sprayed it with new metallic paint to go on the door leading from the garage out to the patio. He was a very busy guy on Friday afternoon.
We have another big improvement coming to the house this coming Saturday, too.... a new couch! A sectional to be exact. Our living room is kind of odd with it's shape and multiple focal points. Even more annoying about it is the lack of seating with just the couch and our Cracker Barrel (thanks, Dad) rocking chair. When we have two other people over, we're one seat short. So we decided to fix one of those issues and ordered this lovely thing:
It's the perfect shade of lightish brown and it's nice and comfy. It's also not as deep as the current couch, so the part of it that will be where our couch currently sits won't seem as big and bulky and eyesore-ish (which crazy emotional me has been crying about for like 3 weeks, but that's another story for another day). However, it's huge lengthwise... 12x8'. So that chaise part will likely be parked in our bedroom, meaning I'm getting one of those fancy seating areas in my master bedroom to read in like you see in Better Homes & Gardens. Awesome. Living the high life, people.
My next project:
A chalkboard menu! See, isn't Pinterest fun? I need to find the right frame, and I fully intend to paint wood with chalkboard paint (even though Dan insists you can buy chalkboards, pshaw) and hang it on a blank kitchen wall. I also want to make a cute monogrammed something or other to hang my aprons in the kitchen. Dan wants to paint the tiny wall behind our built in shelf the same dark blueish grey as the hallway and then set some of our own original artwork on an easel up there. Lastly, we want to fix up the dinky fireplace. I'd like to have it done in time for Christmas, but it just remains to be seen whether or not that happens. Dan's plan is to replace the blechy tile around it and build a new solid wood mantle. The one there now is literally a piece of flimsy wood and I have to be very careful with putting anything heavy on it. We want something more substantial and grand looking. See? We have all sorts of things going on, and hopefully the weather will start to cool down and we'll feel less blech (how many times have I said 'blech' in this post?) and get to work on them.
What projects are you working on? Have you discovered Pinterest? Do you need an intervention, too?
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