Building a Kingston Castle

Random Musings Friday

2012-02-17T09:41:00.002-07:00

Happy Friday! Holy shizballs, this week felt long! Here's my brain dump:

- I just can't get into a sympathetic frame of mind over Whitney Houston's death. I respect that she's a person who died and that's sad for her family and loved ones, but in my humble opinion, she was a crackhead with a once great voice and her death was not surprising due to her lifestyle. I say "once great" because her continued drug use damaged it. She was a troubled soul, and I'm glad that she no longer suffers, but I always find it interesting when celebrities with troubled pasts pass away and we seem to forget the troubled part. Either way, rest in peace, Whitney.

- I had my second lia sophia show last night, hosted by my mother-in-law at my house. It was small and fun, but I was hoping for bigger sales for her. I'm kicking tail on my start-up sales goals, which is great, and I've gotten bookings out of both shows, so I'm thankful for a successful start. I have two more shows this weekend, and I'm just hoping they go really well for my hostesses, because I am so thankful they agreed to help me get started.

- Dan and I bought the paint for the craft room on Sunday, and I'm hoping we can get started with the makeover this weekend.

- Speaking of this weekend, we're going to the body art expo. I've never been to one and I'm really excited. I really have no idea what to expect. Our tattoo artist is entering one of Dan's pieces in a contest and I'm super excited for both of them.

- Confession: I got a tattoo symbolizing our infertility and - aside from posting it on Facebook with a vague explanation of its meaning - haven't really shown it to anyone. My confession is that I worry that people would think that since we didn't try treatment, getting a permanent mark of our experience would be making a mountain out of a molehill. I struggle a lot with feeling like we haven't "suffered" enough, and I need to come to terms with that.

Hope you all have a wonderful weekend! Don't forget to go see the other link-ups at Shana's site. Oh, and! Amanda's lia sophia virtual jewelry extravaganza ends Wednesday and a I threw in a special deal for orders submitted this weekend, so go visit her, too.

Well, since everyone else is doing it

2012-02-16T09:03:00.003-07:00

I kind of glazed over it in my last post, but everyone else who went to PJs at TJ's wrote a recap, so I figure I should too. Because it was fun and TJ was a very generous hostess who showed us all a wonderful time.

So, Friday I got done with work and headed across the street to the airport to pick up Elise. We had fun chatting in the car as we headed toward TJ's house. When we got in touch with TJ outside the base to arrange the base access stuff, she asked if we could turn around and go grab a few girls at a nearby outdoor mall, because she could only sign on so many cars and blah blah blah so we needed to carpool. So Elise and I picked up Stephanie, Megan (who doesn't blog but does Tweet), and Laura and headed back.

The rest of the evening was spent meeting and greeting as more people arrived. The bloggers attending aren't in my usual blog social circle, but I'd checked them out to know who they all were. Even so, I quickly realized I hadn't read enough. That or I am even worse with remembering names and details than I usually am. Anyway, I met Linnea, Noemi, Diane, Lara, Jess, Jessica, Kammah, Erin, and two of TJ's aunts. TJ put out a sandwich spread and enough soda for a small army, along with a WALL of CANDY. Organized candy. Seriously, brilliant. She used a show organizer on her laundry room door and stuffed it with goodies. Dan can never find out about it because he'll want one. We chatted and played with babies (TJ's Penny, Erin's Lorelai, Jessica's Callum) and hung out before heading home (or to hotels) for the night.

I got up bright and early Saturday (because I have dogs who don't sleep for shit because OMG, they might miss a meal) and picked up a few girls and headed back to TJ's for breakfast. Ladies trickled in all morning, including a new arrival, Andrea and her daughter, Alli. The babies played on the floor while we chatted. After a while, a few of us headed off to Target for general awesomeness shopping and to buy pajamas for the PJ party that evening. I had to leave to go shadow a lia sophia show (although I got hopelessly lost, burst into tears, and ended up giving up and going home for a nap) and a few girls went to get pedicures while TJ turned the house into a true pajama party.

I have to say this about TJ real quick. She really is awesome. I enjoy her company very much and am glad we've become friends. She's funny in a sarcastic way I can appreciate, wicked clever in both her writing and her conversation, and incredibly kind. She truly just wanted everyone to have a good time. She took a lot of effort in planning to get the most out of our very minimal registration "fee" (for lack of a better word, because I think we all would have coughed up more for the experience). She kept us in good snacks, great company, and gracious hospitality all weekend.

So, with all that in mind, she also had a vision for this party. She and I met up after she came home from the Blathering, and as she was hatching her idea for her own gathering, she truly wanted a middle school-esque girlfest PJ party. Like old school, from back when we'd stay up late with girlfriends eating popcorn and candy until we got sick, whispering about boys and watching movies. She had a VISION. And that vision included a BED. At a pajama party. It's so obvious, yet so brilliant that she actually hauled out a bed while most of the girls were gone (I came back to help turn the house from "hang out all day" space to "this is where the party's happening space), set it up in the living room, made it up with blankets and pillows, and set the scene. She had hot pink and black streamers and party decor. Everyone (including Kara, who hadn't been able to make it to the Friday night meet-and-greet) descended on Kelly's house in their cute pajamas and warm fuzzy socks. We had pizza, "Big" and "Dirty Dancing" going in the background, root beer floats, and a lot of great conversation. We piled on the bed or sat on couches or the floor, played with little ones, and just talked all night.

I'll be honest, being with that many people at once for a whole day is breeding grounds for sensory overload for me. But it was precisely what I didn't even know I needed. It really was great and very memorable. There were ladies from so many different places and backgrounds to meet and get to know and share with. I spend just about every evening hanging out with at least one guy (Dan, obvs, and possibly the roommate or one of Dan's coworkers), so having girl time was a breath of fresh air. And it didn't matter that I didn't relate to all of their experiences because we were all there for one reason - to just have fun and enjoy something totally new. As tired as I was on Sunday from all the fun, it was a happy and satisfied tired.

So, in summation, I'd definitely recommend attending a blog gathering should you ever have the opportunity. And it doesn't matter that it's not a gathering of your "usual" bloggers, because they can become part of your blog circle. It's an experience you won't regret - I can assure you that the 15 ladies who spent Saturday night in PJs with me would agree with you :)

TIme to get Blingy

2012-02-14T08:44:00.002-07:00

Happy Valentine's Day, all :)

Today is the kick-off of a very special little partnership between me and Amanda at It's Blogworthy. Amanda is hosting the first ever virtual lia sophia jewelry party, and the info is on her site. It's part of the 1st birthday celebration for her awesome Friday feature, Celebrity Roundup, for which I was the first ever guest poster back when Charlie Sheen went cuckoo for cocoa puffs. We're quite excited about this little endeavor, and I'm thrilled to have her as a hostess. So hop on over to her site to check it out and treat yourself to whatever you didn't get for Valentine's Day.

PJs at TJ's and Free Your Mind Monday

2012-02-13T08:00:00.002-07:00

Morning, all! I'm a hot mess today. I forgot my phone and my badge to get into the office. I forgot to leave Dan my check for my car payment, and I'm sure I'll discover I forgot something else at some point today. It's a great start to Monday, eh? I had a really fun weekend, though. I went to PJs at TJ's, hosted by Temerity Jane, which means I got to cross off #34 on my 101 in 1001. I got to meet some wonderful fellow bloggers (and a couple of their super cute kiddos), relax, enjoy girl talk, and wear my pajamas for most of a day - let's not kid ourselves though. Me wearing pajamas for 24+ hours is not all that uncommon. All in all, it was really fun, and I highly recommend attending a blog gathering if you ever have the opportunity.

Last week, I started my Free Your Mind Monday, inspired by Shana. Today brings you the second installment of my 50 Questions to Free Your Mind:

6. If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich? Baking and crafting – anything to be creative and gift people with things I put heart into. I'm most happy when I'm doing something that fulfills my urge to bring ideas to fruition with something tangible and hopefully fun.

7. Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing? I think I’m doing what I believe in. Part of my growth in the last 5 years has been to do what makes me (and Dan) happy and make no apologies. You're never going to please everyone, but what's most important is that I go to bed at night knowing I'm happy and have nothing to regret.

8. If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently? I’d spend more time on vacation, enjoying silence. I’d read more, laugh more, and cuddle more.

9. To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken? A lot I think. I’ve made some tough decisions over the last ten years, and gotten myself out of some rough spots. There's a certain amount of life that one can't control, and I've tried to make the best possible decisions for the situation I was in. I haven't always done things the way I would now looking back with hindsight, but I own it and try to learn from it.

10. Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things? Both. I don’t think anyone wants to do things wrong. However, I’m not willing to compromise my integrity just to get an answer “right.” Doing the right thing would win out over doing things right. I’m the only one who has to live with my actions.

It's getting mushy in here

2012-02-08T11:56:00.015-07:00

Found this on The Blue Eyed Bride's site. I figured while I was eating my lunch (which my husband had simmering on the stove when I walked in last night - Dan for the win!) I'd get a little mushy. We're not big on Valentine's Day, but I do loves me some husband and I like talking about our relationship, so I'm going to get lovey dovey for a few.

1. How long have you and your significant other been together? We don't know the exact date of our first date, but it was late May, 2008. We started "goin' steady" at the end of July. It feels like much longer... in a good way. He looked so young!

2. How did you meet? We went to the baby shower of a mutual friend. I know... a guy at a baby shower? Yeah, well, Mom-to-be was clingy and would never let Dad-to-be off his leash, so she made him invite his friends and bribed them into coming with beer. I wooed Dan with my knowledge of celebrity babies, but just as he got the (liquid) courage to come say hi, I left for dinner plans. He asked our mutual friend for my info, we linked up on myspace and went on our first date a couple weeks later.

3. If married, how long have you been married? We got married (that's a lot of "married") on October, 16, 2009 (his 25th birthday), so we've been married 2 years, 3 months, 23 days and roughly 40 minutes. But who's counting?

4. If you are married.. okay, we've established I'm married... where did you get married? Big or small wedding? Our wedding and reception were at a Sheraton Hotel in Phoenix, near what is affectionately known as the Ghettro Center Mall. After the reception, we continued the party at Dave and Buster's. I believe our final guest count that day was 67, so it was small... and perfect.

5. Do you have any nicknames that you call each other? We both call each other "Buddy." He sometimes calls me "Lil Bud"

6. Name 3 things you love most about your honey. He's my rock, he's the most kind and sweet and generous man I know, and he's funny as hell.

7. Tell us how he proposed? In the living room in our pajamas after making dinner together on a Sunday evening. It was absolutely perfect.

8. Is he a flowers and teddy bear kind of guy for V-day, or strawberries, champagne, and rose petals? Neither. Our brand of romance isn't for everyone. Dan shows his love by washing my car and bathing the dogs. He does things to make my life easier. When he surprises me with gifts, it's with something I wouldn't buy myself or something I've been talking about, like with hiding my Kindle in his lunch box or surprising me with a new wallet. Plus, we don't give gifts on Valentine's Day. So the aforementioned sweetness is just his normal, everyday awesomeness.

9. Are you a sunset dinner on the beach kind of girl, or pop a movie in and relax on the couch? The fact that anyone is asking this is ridiculous. I'm a homebody, all the way. See, I like lounging even when I'm outside...

10. Tell us one thing you'd like to do with your significant other one day, if you could do anything? Go anywhere? There are many places I'd love to go with him - Ireland, Italy, France. And places in the US, too, like Seattle, Chicago, New York City. We haven't gotten to travel much in our time together, and I hope that we'll get to do that someday soon. As far as something I'd like to do... I guess it's hard to narrow it down. I think it would be awesome to own a business together. We love doing projects in our home. I'd love to take him skydiving and skiing and wine tasting.

11. Tell us what you plan on doing this Valentine's Day. Nothing, really. I'll work, come home, make dinner. We'll eat it, presumably. I'll kiss him goodnight and tell him I love him, like I do every day.

12. Are you asking for anything this Valentine's Day? Nope.

13. Give us one piece of advice to keep a relationship strong and full of love? You have to communicate and be on the same page, and put your marriage first. The last six months could have had a very different outcome had we not made such great efforts to take time to talk, listen, understand, and care. I wake up every morning thankful for him and his love, and I don't take what we have for granted. A relationship shouldn't be work, but you do have to make the effort to keep it healthy and prioritize it.

14. Show us a picture that means "love" to you. I love this one. It's one of my favorites from my wedding day and was taken by my mom. I think it has "Brooke and Dan" written all over it. He's got a huge smile, I'm smiling, we're just perfectly happy. This is how we strive to be, and it's how I feel about him inside, even if I don't look it.

Oh, and this one. I love how much he loves me.

Free Your Mind Monday

2012-02-06T09:09:00.002-07:00

You know who has awesome ideas? Shana at Fumbling Towards Normalcy. She really does - she's linked up Random Musings Friday and has also been doing Free Your Mind Monday, where she shares about 5 of her answers on the "50 questions to free your mind" list. I have this list on my 101 in 1001, and I had answered them fairly early on, but hadn't figured out yet when/if to share them. Well, thanks to Shana, I feel inspired. I'm needing inspiration from people lately. I'm in a far better place emotionally than I was two months ago, but I feel like I'm at a stand still. Life has become about doing whatever it is that makes me happy and trying to push away the negativity. However, I feel like I need to let my guard down some. Not necessarily to unshield myself, but to open myself up to other happy things I've been shunning. So hopefully this will be a way to do that.

So, here we go. Opening myself up and freeing my mind, installment numero uno:

1. How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are? Probably 25 or so. Sometimes I still feel like I’m so young and still figuring things out. Other days, I feel like I've been aged so much by the last six months or so. There are days when I'm shocked that I own a house and am married and work at an adult job and all those other things. I think it all averages out to about 25.

2. Which is worse, failing or never trying? It depends. I think there are some things you don’t have to do and fail at to know it’s not worthwhile to try. I don't believe every battle has to be fought and sometimes self preservation is valued more than experience. I think our infertility is one of those things. I'm conscious of the fact that we chose not to try, but for us, the costs and risks outweighed trying. If we weren't so risk averse, it might have been a different decision, but as long as we're okay with the choice to not try, it doesn't hurt anyone else. With other things, you have to learn from failing to succeed next time, or to learn a lesson. I think part of really maturing is figuring out which is which.

3. If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do? I have no idea. Because we feel we have to? Because we know they make other people happy? I’m trying harder to focus my time on the things that I love and eliminate the things that don’t make me happy. At the same time, there are people I really value in my life and they like things I don't. Sometimes sacrifices have to be made for the greater good, on both sides.

4. When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done? Probably. Unfortunately, one thing I’m learning about myself when I’m truly honest is that I talk the talk and don’t always walk the walk. It’s a constant self-improvement action item for me. I'm trying to equal out the talk:walk ratio

5. What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world? It may be because of where I am now, but it’s important to me to raise awareness about infertility. It shouldn’t be shameful, and people should know that it can happen to anyone, it’s sensitive to the people going through it, and there are just some things you don’t say out of common decency. I think traditional sexual health education has done a disservice to young women, and it's important to me to find a way to improve it for the next generation of women.

There, that wasn't so hard. See you next Monday for round two :)

Also, Amanda at It's Blogworthy is kicking off her Celebrity Weekly Round-up's birthday party with some truly awesome stuff and posts and treats by incredible ladies, including probably the first ever lia sophia virtual jewelry party. Pretty awesome. Check out her site all week to join in the fun.

Random Musings Friday

2012-02-03T08:47:00.004-07:00

So, once again, I've managed to not blog for over a week. To be honest, my heart just isn't always in it. I feel like life is pretty steady and for the most part, relatively dull compared to some of you. My rants generally go on Facebook or Twitter. So in general, I don't find most of my thoughts, or even most of what happens in life, to be very blog-worthy. But I will dig up some thoughts.

- This whole Susan G. Komen vs. Planned Parenthood thing is interesting. While it's a disappointing choice from the women's health perspective, I also believe that organizations have a right to choose who and what to support. Just the same as you or I have a right to support one organization and not another. However, I think they lack integrity in their reason. If they're not going to fund PP because of "investigations," why are they giving $7.5M to Penn State, who also is? There's been no talk of pulling that grant. I'm fine with Komen instating a rule, but they need to be consistent. I'm not going to get all political about it because that's not my style, but it's hypocritical and I see right through you, Susan G. Komen.

- This past weekend, we went to Tucson for my dad's birthday. On Saturday night, we went to the casino and then came home and made s'mores. Sometime Sunday morning, 2 of the chocolate bars on the counter went missing and Clover was a likely culprit. We googled all sorts of stuff, and even though the maximum amount she could have eaten wasn't likely to be lethal for her body weight, we decided to induce vomitting with hydrogen peroxide to be on the safe side. Clo had enough to make a 100 pound dog puke and barely slowed down. She did finally get sick (in the car of course), but there was no evidence of chocolate. We don't know for sure that she actually got any, but I do know that my girl has an iron-clad stomach, unlike her sister.

- Last night, Dan wasn't feeling well and I wasn't very hungry. I had been hungry when I was driving home and had cheese and crackers for a snack, but when dinner rolled around, I was over it and content to have fruit or what little leftovers we had. Dan asked repeatedly what I wanted (steak was on the meal plan, but it was windy out - not good for grilling), so I said I was fine with just Wheat Thins or whatever, but we were actually out. Since I didn't come up with anything else, he decided Wheat Thins it was. After googling for a minute (during which time I assumed he was looking up some sort of Wheat Thin casserole), he went to the store and came home with this:

Size boxes of Wheat Thins, in every flavor. He was mighty proud and lined them up on the refrigerator, going through them saying, "Yummy, good, yummy, probably good, good, yummy." Lesson learned: ask and you shall receive

- My first lia sophia show is a week from yesterday and I'm getting so excited! I have a lot to do - in my mind at least - to get ready. I need to figure out some presentation stuff, figure out a cute display for earrings, and get a bigger table cloth for my display table. It doesn't seem like much, but this coming week is incredibly busy, and every free second is going to count. I can't wait to get through my first couple shows and find my groove.

- And speaking of next week, PJs at TJ's, a blog gathering hosted by Temerity Jane, begins a week from today! I'm really excited. There are a lot of really fun bloggers coming, and TJ herself - along with her daughter, Penny - is totally awesome. I have no idea what to expect, except for a good time and meeting some cool new people.

Alrighty, people. Enjoy your Friday and your weekend! Have fun watching the Super Bowl commercials, since no one anywhere seems very interested in seeing the game itself :)

YESiversary #3

2012-01-25T09:26:00.002-07:00

Three years ago tonight, I said "yes" to Dan when he asked me to marry him. We made dinner together in our pajamas, drank wine and then he asked me to dance. He held me tight for a few minutes before nervously getting down on one knee and asking one of the most important and life-changing questions (the other being, "Do, you, Brooke, take Dan....?") a girl can be asked. There were no cameras, no spectators (besides Paisley), and no elaborate plans. Yet, it was perfectly private and special and US. I don't precisely remember everything he said to me, but it would stay between us forever anyway. I still get teary thinking about how incredible that moment was.

Tonight, we'll celebrate with a special dinner and a bottle of the same wine. I'll hug him a little tighter, snuggle in a little closer, and remember that on January 25, 2009, I told him I'd marry him, and I've been glad I said "yes" every day since.

Random Musings Friday

2012-01-20T09:01:00.002-07:00

Hmmmm, it looks like I haven't done or thought about much since last week's post of the same title, but that's far from true. I promise. I've been busy.

I am officially a (pending) lia sophia Independent Sales Advisor. What that means is that I now hawk jewelry. Mighty fine, fun, pretty jewelry with a lifetime guarantee, no less. I went to a party in November, then hosted my own in December. I thought it would be something fun and productive to do with my time and make some extra money for our home. Also, I've missed the fun aspect of work that I enjoyed working as a waitress pretty much since graduating from college. You'll be shocked to hear this, but being a tax analyst isn't usually very exciting. Basically, I'll be getting paid to shop, meet new people, and have fun. Couldn't really ask for better.

I was driving to work this morning and saw a sign that said "Authotech's Direct." What's wrong with that? I'm like 99% sure they mean Autotechs and that apostrophe is superfluous. I see this everywhere. Apostrophes aren't that difficult to use properly. I find it astonishing that somewhere in the design, editing, manufacturing, and erecting of this sign, no one ever said, "hey, I think you have a grammar fail on your sign." I make mistakes, too. Even with reading and re-reading posts and emails, I will catch something and be all, "gah, Brooke! That was dumb." But this is a huge SIGN. Advertising your BUSINESS. Nothing elicits my confidence in an establishment less than the lack of awareness to display grammatically correct signage. It's no wonder to me that when the State Fair was going on, the parking lot that proudly displayed its "Fare Parking" signs was always empty. Those dopes only had to copy spelling on signs that were all over the place for miles around and they couldn't even do that. I wouldn't trust them to watch my car, either. Edit your advertising, people.

My co-irker didn't review my account reconciliations in a timely manner, so the controller - who I don't in any way report to (my group supports his, but our reporting structure is technically in of a different part of the company) - reviewed them and found errors. He's intimidating and I'm going to have to sit down with him and go over them. I know it's a chance to shine and show initiative - since I eventually want a position on his team - but he's incredibly blunt and straight-forward and that style doesn't always go over well with me. Eeek!

So Paula Deen has diabetes. Some people are seriously upset about it and saying she pushes unhealthy eating and now is advocating treating it with medicine rather than living a healthy lifestyle. Personally, I don't really see the big deal. Yeah, her food is generally rich and comfort-y. She considers butter its own food group. She isn't forcing anyone to make or eat it. And now she has diabetes, which may or may not be the result of her eating what she cooks. Some dope on Facebook actually said, "I have a pretty good idea of what she eats - I've seen her show." Moron. We have no idea what she eats on the regular. Her at-home eating style could be vastly different than her on-air eating. Assuming she eats gooey butter cookies and mac and cheese constantly is like assuming Candace Nelson eats only cupcakes - since that's all I've seen her eat on TV. Not to mention, not only unhealthy eating causes diabetes. Watch out, I'm going on an IF tangent: one of the major causes of infertility, PCOS, causes imbalances that lead to gaining/difficulty losing weight and insulin resistance. Ladies who eat perfectly by-the-book healthy and exercise as recommended may develop diabetes thanks to PCOS, no matter what they do. So seriously, just because someone eats 2 bites of crap on TV does not make them "deserving" of diabetes. And as far as her now selling diabetes medicine as a diabetic herself, ummmm... who else would be more appropriate? Someone without diabetes? Get real. I'm sure there are fails in my logic somewhere - there usually are. But the the moral of the story is that I have bigger stuff to worry about than who's the spokesperson for insulin. Someone has to take over the "diabeetus" when Wilford Brimly takes a dirt nap.

I'm linking up to Shana. Go see what is on some other ladies' minds. And have a great weekend :)

Random Musings Friday

2012-01-13T10:48:00.002-07:00

I'm going to link up with the fabulous Shana this week and give you my random musings. Because if I didn't, I don't think I have anything that constitutes a blog post right now.

1. Dan and I have officially purchased our third vehicle in less than three years. There was my Murano in May 2009 when we were engaged, Dan's Lexus in October 2010 after the hail storm that turned Phoenix into an insurance claim nightmare, and now the new truck. It's pretty rad, I have to say. I'm not a Chevy girl normally (I love me my Nissans), but this 4-door Silverado is a sweet ride. It's roomy and hauly (is that a word?) and oh so pretty. Dan gave up his old 2-door Silverado to get my Murano (awwwww) (wait, I have a bigger awww: his project truck, a 70-something Chevy, was sold to buy my engagement ring. I didn't realize it at the time because we hadn't even talked marriage yet. But that's what it became) and has been talking about trading in his teensy car for a month or so. Seriously, you should have seen him in his IS300 - you'd have never guessed that someone who is 6'5" would be able to fold himself into it. But he did, and he loved it, but he was ready for a change.

2. There has been so much effing drama in our group of friends lately. There are a lot of hurt feelings and some damaged friendships. Dan and I have been unfairly accused of withholding information and it's been really hurtful. It royally sucks.

3. This weekend is going to be busy busy, buuuuusy. But in a good way. I have a meeting with some ladies to get my own lia sophia company started in the morning, then a tattoo session (are you freaking out, Mom?) at noon. Then in the evening, we want to go see the hot balloon glow in a downtown nearby. It's part of a long seasonal even with a lot of lights, but I've never seen this balloon glow finale, and I'm excited. And on Sunday, we're celebrating a friend's birthday with mini golf and giant beers. The two go well together.

4. I'm selling Girl Scout cookies for a friend's kid. I have an awesome sign outside my cube, and the fact that I don't have kids myself seems to be drawing extra attention which leads to extra sales. Cha-ching. I may or may not have told some people I'm the world's oldest Brownie.

5. I'm wicked excited - irrationally so - that my new 2012 planner came. I got it with Amazon gift cards from Christmas and it's very cute. And, it matches my red Kindle cover. I'm so coordinated. And organized.

I'm off to judge a chili contest. Have a fabulous weekend!

Guess who's FOUR?!

2012-01-05T07:56:00.003-07:00

This little lady!

Today is my Paisley Poo's 4th birthday. She's still as sweet as ever and just as loved. She's the one who curls up by my side when I'm sad, and she makes the most noise when I come home. She's the first little furball I was ever responsible for, and she has a very special place in my heart.

How could you not love that baby?

Happy Birthday, Paisley!

It Begins: Project Craft Room

2012-01-02T08:09:00.005-07:00

So I've been talking about this craft room a lot lately, but I have some exciting news! On NYE, I started my first project toward making it happen. Aside from pinning ideas for it, that is. Before I get into it, here's the run-down on what needs to be done:

Clear room of "junk" and find storage solutions in either the closet, garage, or shed

Paint walls in tone-on-tone light greyish-purple horizontal stripes - the paint has been chosen!

Build desk and put up shelving

Figure out what to do with Dan's giant ugly black dresser (this is called foreshadowing)

Take closet doors off and replace with fun patterned curtains that coordinate with existing limey green block-out curtains on the windows. We're doing this because the storage we're keeping isn't really conducive to the range of the doors now - getting out my ribbons and cookie cutters is a pain. Not to mention, Dan's tattoo supplies will now live in the closet (climate control) and the cart won't fit in it with the doors. So, curtains it is.

Make/buy fun pillows for futon

Create functional storage for wrapping paper/gift bags, etc.

Decorate!

Keep in mind that while on a day-to-day basis, the room will be for creativity. But it is also serving as our only guest room while we have a roommate, so the futon will be staying and serving as a couch for now. Once we no longer have a roommate, our queen bed will be moved to the 3rd room and we'll get a king. But this is all in the undetermined future.

So, back to the first project. I had gone shopping at Pier 1 on Saturday and used a gift card to buy what I like to call, "the most glorious pillow ever made." It's big and royal purple and ruffley and I love it. Dan might not call it that, but what does a boy know about pillows anyway. We were talking about the plans and paint colors for the craft room, and I dragged him in to visually show him my layout, and said, "but we have to do something about that!" and pointed to his big ugly black dresser. The thing is huge - it was at his parents' house when he was growing up, he probably painted it black at some point in his teen years, and it somehow became ours when he moved in. I don't do black furniture. It's harsh looking and doesn't go with anything that we have. So when I was threatening to have to do something about it, Dan was willing to compromise, considering it's still full of a lot of his stuff (stuff = papers, old wallets on chains, pictures, tiny Virgin Mary statues, etc.). The compromise: he could keep it in the room if I could paint it to go with my color scheme.

And so, the most awesome dresser in the universe came to be. Beeeehold!

Isn't it fabulous? I pretty much want to take it to dinner and then marry it in about 6 months. It's my soulmate. The color is actually going to appear much darker when it's in the room and not in direct sunlight. It's really very close to the color of the most glorious pillow ever made. And it's just the push we both needed to get started on the room transformation, which we're hoping to have done by about mid-March, budget allowing.

The best part is, I have Dan's full support and enthusiasm. He seems to get that I need this space for my sanity and well-being. I'm so thankful that he sees this as our project and is almost as excited as I am to make it just right. What a wonderful way to start the New Year - I really couldn't have hoped for better!

Edited to add: As requested by Allyson, I present to you, the "most glorious pillow ever made."

And yes, I named the jpeg file that.

Get out of here, 2011

2011-12-30T09:07:00.009-07:00

Let's wrap up ~~the worst year ever~~ 2011, shall we?

First, a month-by-month:

January: Paisley turned 3, Dan's brother got married, I talked about trying to conceive and we started our house hunt

February: Outrageous Kid Parties and the spoiled brats who have them graced our television screen (and recaps graced my blog) and we had a contract on our first home, as well as a moving date.

At this point I took a break to reread my OKP recaps because they are just that funny. Go read them. I'll wait.

Okay, we're back. Moving on

March: We closed and moved into the house and did a quick remodel of the kitchen. We also used a Groupon deal on some new pictures as a (very) belated anniversary session.

April: My sister got married and I made the cupcakes for her wedding. We also hit the one-year mark of trying to conceive

May: We began infertility testing, but I didn't blog about it since we didn't get results until June. For the most part, May was just about little decorating projects and meal plans.

June: We got his and hers results on our infertility testing and I said good-bye to my 20's with a fabulous 30th birthday party thrown by my awesome friend, Mrs. ESPN

July: We met with the infertility specialist and learned that maybe things weren't as hopeless as we feared. Somewhere over the next 4 months, though, we got additional testing and information I haven't shared here and we decided that we weren't as open to assisted reproductive technologies as we thought when we weighed all the risks and costs. I also did a (no) cafeteria challenge and saved myself about $150.

August: Clover turned 2, our gallery wall got a new coat of paint, I discovered Pinterest, and threw my dear friend Rachel a bridal shower. I also poured my infertile little heart out with a letter to my friends.

September: More Pinterest projects, and I got pissed.

October: I was in my best friend's wedding, and we celebrated our 2-year anniversary. I met Brie and Temerity Jane (and the fabulous Penny, of course). We went trick-or-treating with our friend's kids. I also started therapy to help me with the emotions related to our infertility

November: I bullied a sucker into letting me steal her lunch bag, ate a bunch of turkey, and was thankful. We hosted our first Thanksgiving with my parents, in-laws, and two of Dan's aunts. I also got a Kindle from my sweetie-pie husband.

December: It was a busy month. I got a fierce new hair color ("blackity brown"), hosted a jewelry party, and turned my cubicle wall into a giant advent calendar, none of which I blogged about. I did, however show you my tree skirt. We hosted Christmas here at the house with my parents, in-laws, and my sister and her husband in attendance. I've been off all week and haven't really done a darn thing but pin ideas for my craft room.

And now, a look back on what did and didn't get accomplished in 2011 (the latter should certaintly improve my mood)...

1. What did you do in 2010 that you’d never done before? We bought a house. That's pretty significant. I also got big (for me) into crafting, which may or may not count as a first since I fell in love with baking as a craft in 2009.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? Ha, nope. Still on BP meds, and still haven't lost weight. Awesome. The focus on 2012 for me is about shedding all sorts of things, though, and I'm hoping that finding my happy again also means finding myself lighter and healthier. I'm not looking at that failure as a true failure. Call it an excuse if you will, but I had bigger emotional fish to fry than losing weight, quite honestly.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? Nope, but once again, some wonderful blog friends did, and there will be more in 2012.

4. Did anyone close to you die? Yes. We lost my uncle in April

5. What countries did you visit? I didn't travel outside the U.S. this year

6. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011? Emotional peace and a craft room

7. What dates from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? March 9 and 11 - closing and move-in day, respectively. April 11 - the one-year mark. June 28 - my 30th birthday. June 29 - Dan's test result day.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Buying the house and getting rid of the horrid green paint job in the master bathroom

9. What was your biggest failure? Must I state the obvious?

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? I suppose you could say that.

11. What was the best thing you bought? Aside from the house, the new appliances

12. Where did most of your money go? The house

13. What did you get really excited about? Starting a family. Now I'm looking forward to have a custom craft room

14. What song will always remind you of 2011? Anything by our friends, Poz and InfeKt

15. Compared to this time last year, are you:
– happier or sadder? sadder, though I'm getting closer to finding my happiness
– thinner or fatter? the same
– richer or poorer? poorer

16. What do you wish you’d done more of? Traveling

17. What do you wish you’d done less of? Crying

18. How did you spend Christmas? We hosted. We had a tasty brunch and then a delicious roast beef dinner.

19. What was your favorite TV program? Pretty much anything on Food Network, and Outrageous Kid Parties, of course

20. What were your favorite books of the year? The Hunger Games trilogy

21. What was your favorite music from this year? I am loving the new Korn and Chevelle

22. What were your favorite films of the year? We didn't see many movies, so it's not too hard to pick. I really liked The Help. Oh, and Bridesmaids. Duh.

23. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I turned 30, and my friend Mrs. ESPN threw me a party

24. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? A baby

25. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2010? I don't change much really. I'm a jeans girl and I pair them with whatever is comfy. This is the year I added headbands, though

26. What kept you sane? My husband. My dear, sweet, incredible husband.

27. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011 Always be kinder than you have to be, you never know what struggle someone is facing.

See last year's wrap-up here

My Christmas Wishes

2011-12-22T10:02:00.002-07:00

‘Tis the season for giving, and gifting, and wishing. We all have a wish list, right? It may be in the form of a Pinterest board or just a mental list. Some may be wants, and some may be needs, and some are downright fantasies. Here is what I’m wishing for this Christmas.

My bedroom to be painted. Dan started on it after Black Friday when I bought him his gift: a 40” flat screen. He painted the wall opposite the bed blue just enough to hang the TV at first, then went back and finished most of it. But it’s still not done – the edges are white still, and technically, it’s only the accent wall and we plan to do the other 3 a coordinating taupe. I’d like it to be done in a timely fashion. That would be a great gift.

Gift cards for my Kindle. I’ve read something like 8 books so far since I got the thing 5 weeks ago and my love for reading has been…. rekindled. Gift cards for more books would be a wonderful.

Clothes. I get so tired of my wardrobe. The fashion boards on Pinterest don’t help. I try not to spend much on clothes, but I would love love love a little shopping spree.

A day where I don’t feed anyone. I realized the other day that I’m pretty much responsible for feeding everything that lives in our house. I make breakfasts, lunches, and dinners for me and Dan and I feed the dogs 99% of the time. Dan is self-sufficient, obviously, but if I don’t pack his lunch, he won’t and then he has to eat out and have whatever’s convenient. I personally prefer to know he’s eating homemade food. We also currently have a roommate as well as our friend staying with us pre-deployment, so I'm cooking almost every dinner for 4 (because I'm not going to not feed them). I would kill for a day where all meals for everyone are delivered in healthy, portioned little packages and I don’t have to think about the shopping, cooking, or clean-up. Basically, I’m asking for a personal chef, people.

My craft room. As bittersweet as it is that the guest room isn’t going to be a nursery, I’m excited to design my craft room. I want to build the desk for it and figure out where to put everything so I can conveniently create everything I desire. Not to mention, having the craft room done would mean that the room would be settled and not just a storage space for the stuff we don’t know what to do with. I’m excited about the challenge to make a functional space for both our hobbies as well as a home away from home for our guests. I would love to be able to just spend a week getting it done with no distractions.

Related: a sewing machine. There are so many things I have pinned or could pin on Pinterest that I need one for. Trust me, I never thought I would have a sewing machine, but I’m feeling so inspired lately to try new things and create to my heart’s content. Not to mention, crafting has become a therapeutic outlet for me, and I simply need more tools. Glue guns aren't for everything, sadly.

For my heart to not hurt. I know. A crappy sentiment. I can be okay with the no-kid situation. It will take time and therapy is so helpful but I just want so badly to not be sad. When people ask what I want for Christmas, I mostly just want to say, “to be my happy self again.” Anything else honestly feels trivial compared to just wanting to wake up and feel at peace. I’ll get there, but it would be a wonderful and welcomed Christmas present, even if it comes later in the year.

Oh, Christmas Tree!

2011-12-19T07:22:00.004-07:00

One of my very favorite holiday traditions is picking out the Christmas tree. My parents have always done fresh trees (except for the year they got a live in-the-planter tree) and it's a tradition I intend to keep as long as possible. I know they're pricey and messy, but to me, it's just not negotiable. Dan and I have only ever had a small tabletop-sized tree, but now that we're in the house, this was the first year we got to pick out a full size stunner.

On Saturday, we started a fun new tradition. We went out for dinner at PF Chang's with our friend and her two kids and then went to the lot to pick out our trees. It was really fun to make it a special night out. Dan and I just adore the kids, and their mom and I have gotten closer over the last 6 months, so it was really fun to have that time making memories with them. After we picked out our trees - both of which were strapped to the top of her Honda Pilot - we got to work decorating ours (she's waiting until Wednesday when her husband returns from a civilian assignment in Afghanistan to decorate theirs). I hit the jackpot at Kohl's on some very inexpensive ornaments, and used our old red and white balls to make a candy cane inspired tree that matches our mantle and also goes with mine and Dan's stockings.

No tree of mine would be complete without a Pinterest project, so I used the tutorial found here to make a fun linen-white and red ruffled tree skirt. Even though it was super easy (and made with my favorite method of attachment, the glue gun) I almost instantly regretted signing up for this. It didn't take that long, but it was kind of a pain. The cutting and the ruffling and the gluing just took it's toll on my psyche about 90 minutes in. But I just love how it came out. Once again, pardon my crappy photography. Maybe someday I'll use a real camera :)

So, I'm ready! Bring on Christmas!

The One Where I Set Aside the Glue Gun

2011-12-15T07:23:00.005-07:00

Helloooo! How are we all on this brisk morning? I love the cold weather. We don't get a lot of it, so when we do, I take full advantage of the ability to wear boots, scarves and sweaters. So I was perusing wintery outfits on Pinterest the other day and came along this little gem:

And I said to myself, "self, that's a really cute scarf. I wonder where I can get one of those for my collection." And I clicked over, expecting to find a link to some retail outlet, and lo and behold! It was a tutorial for how to make one of my very own. And I just happened to have some white felt (she recommends felt or felted wool) left over from another project.

I admit, it was kind of time consuming. But I had the house to myself Sunday afternoon for circle cutting, and I finished the assembly last night. It came out cute, don't you think?

Okay, so I discovered it's kind of hard to get a flattering photo of yourself in a scarf. Or maybe I was too picky. But you get the gist. I think I've got a new Christmas gift idea. At the price per yard of felt, I think it's a pretty good bang for your buck.

Have you done any projects lately?

Meal Plan Monday: After Turkey Palooza

2011-12-06T08:19:00.003-07:00

I'm a day late. Sorry. One great thing I discovered whilst doing the big Turkeypalooza meal plan last week is that my husband looooooves pot pie. I wouldn't call it my favorite thing ever, but I love finding something he really likes. And you know he likes it a whole heck of a lot when he asks me to make it again aoon. And so, my meal plan this week:

Monday: We made faux spaghetti with turkey sausage and peppers, substituting spaghetti squash for actual pasta. Delish!

Tuesday: Pot pie. Ask and you shall receive, hubs. I actually have chicken in the crock pot today for two meals. I'm cooking it in cream of mushroom soup so that it will be moist and flavorful for both the pot pie and tomorrow's meal, which is....

Wednesday: Enchiladas. I never made them last week. I forgot that our roommate (yes, roommate. A friend of Dan's, a recently divorced chef) was cooking us dinner and we had a ton of leftovers from that.

Thursday: I'm hosting a jewelry party and will be doing some heavy apps for dinner

Friday: We should easily have leftovers of something, and Dan and I may actually end up going to CA for the day (favor for a friend), so I'm not planning on cooking.

Pretty simple and easy stuff. This week is crazy busy, so the easier the better. All I have to do these next two evenings is do about 20 minutes of prep and pop something in the oven. Perfect!

Meal Plan Monday: Turkey Edition

2011-11-28T15:32:00.002-07:00

Ah, the first holiday of the season is over. Hard to believe December is rolling in in only a couple of days. Dan and I hosted our first Thanksgiving, and by "hosted" I mean our moms made all the food and we provided a table. Seriously. We have great moms. Mine came up early in the day to roast our turkey, whom I named Augustus Gloop Hans van Gobbler III. I wanted him to be very regal sounding and German like my mom's side of the family. Mission accomplished, I think.

Anyway, the thing about hosting Thanksgiving is that you get all the leftovers. That can be good and bad. We ate delicious leftovers this weekend, but we're getting burned out and it's time to get creative. I only have three main meals this week, but it should work out just fine with enough variety. Hopefully.

Tonight, I'm making a big pot of tortilla soup from The Pioneer Woman's website. I'll also be doing turkey enchiladas. Lastly, I'm going to make my first ever pot pie. Most everything I need for all of this is in my pantry, so if we do get absolutely sick of turkey, I'm not blowing the weekly budget and I can pick up something - probably beef - later in the week.

So not a typical laid out, day-by-day meal plan, but it'll work. I'm hoping it'll give us both enough choices for both lunch and dinner that it's not too noticeable that it's all turkey.

Do you have any creative uses for leftover turkey?

Thankful

2011-11-23T10:02:00.002-07:00

As I'm sure y'all are aware, tomorrow is Thanksgiving, and this here is the obligatory Thanksgiving post for 2011. I'll be honest. I'm having a hard time this year with the thankfulness. I'm still very much feeling like something is missing in my list of "what I'm thankful for," despite the fact that the list itself is long. It's an emotional Thanksgiving for me, and will likely be an emotional holiday season. But for today, I will set that aside and remind myself of all the wonderful things in my life.

This year, I am thankful for:

Dan. First and foremost. My husband, my very best friend, my rock. Without him, life would be more dull, more quiet, and far less wonderful. I can't say enough great things about the person who is always at my side, ready and willing with a hug. He knows what I need - a hug, a laugh, a smile - often before I even do. As much as 2011 has been trying for me, it's been hard on him too. Only, he doesn't let it out, because he's the stoic one. We're in this together, he and I, and as much as I knew that when I married him, this last six months has shown me without a doubt that he's exactly who I was meant to spend life with. I am thankful for his strength and for his never-ending drive to make our marriage the best it can be.

My parents. I will never say it enough. Who are we without the people who raised and loved us? My parents have given us so much love and support this year. Without my mom, I may not have had the strength to tell myself it's okay to go to counseling. As painful as it is for her to know she may not be a grandmother to my children, my mom's ability to accept and comfort me in our likely childlessness meant more to me than she'll ever know. And my Daddy. The hardest working man I know, and the most kind and gentle soul you could ever meet. So many things that I love about him, I see in my own husband, and I know that my father taught me how to choose a great husband, even though they look drastically different on the outside. I am thankful for my parents and that they taught me to be strong and loving.

My sister. We've been through good and bad in our life together. I carry much guilt for the way things were when we were young. She's an incredibly gracious and uplifting woman. She's selfless and loving, tender and wickedly funny. She's so much of the best parts of my mom and dad, just as I am, but exemplified in different ways. She's got so much in her that I admire and hope to be someday. I love my little sister more than she'll ever know, and I'm thankful for how our adult life has brought us closer than I could have hoped for just 10 years ago.

My friends. Old and new, near and far, real-life and virtual, I can not express enough gratitude for the family I've been blessed with of people who were once strangers. Their love, laughter and support has been immeasurable and I am thankful for the wonderful ways in which they've enriched my life. I can only hope that I can give it back in their times of need.

Our home. I'm so incredibly thankful for our house. I love that it's becoming more and more what we envisioned at first sight every day. It's given us an outlet for creativity and hard work, and has been a source of pride in its transformation. I love that it's become a place of memories, a place where our friends gather. It will be the place of mine and Dan's first Thanksgiving as hosts tomorrow, and I can't wait to watch that unfold.

Our health. I have to set aside the negatives again here and remind myself that generally speaking, we are very fortunate. Things could be far worse. We are able-bodied and living a full life. We are not hindered on a day-to-day basis by chronic illness or pain. We are not in medical debt or suffering. We are, by all intents and purposes, healthy and happy.

Our pups. Last but not least. Without speaking words or sharing in my tears, Clover and Paisley have shown such empathy and comfort. In the last 6 months, Clover has transformed. She went from disinterested to loving and compassionate this year. She gives kisses and cuddles in all hours of the day. Where I once felt frustration, I now feel nothing but love. And my Paisley. She always seems to know when I need some love. She's the first to crash onto the couch and climb up onto my tummy when I lay down. She'll lay with me for hours, wagging her tail and warming me with her devotion. We are so thankful for their love, health, and energy in our home.

We wish you all a very Happy Thanksgiving and hope that you're surrounded by people you're thankful for tomorrow and every day.

101 in 1001

2011-11-14T13:27:00.009-07:00

I'm sure everyone has seen these lists floating around, but they seem to be extra-abundant among my blog friends lately. I feel inspired by their 101 in 1001 lists because they don't seem super hard to achieve over the course of about 2.75 years. I think I can do this. I admit, some of it is stuff I'm gearing up to do anyway, but now I'll have the extra satisfaction of crossing something off a list. I also admit that I got some inspiration from these ladies: Kallay, Allyson and Shana. My deadline is August 11, 2014.

Some revisions made 1/3/11

1. Give homemade Christmas gifts to everyone on our list

2. Learn to knit

3. Reduce grocery spending by $50 a month through couponing

4. Convert guest room to craft room

5. Build a custom desk (with Dan’s help) for craft room

6. Buy a DSLR

7. Read 30 books in a year (The Hunger Games, Sweet Grapes, The Help, Catching Fire, Mockingjay, I'm Taking My Eggs and Going Home, Silent Sorority, Rules for Virgins, Bossy Pants, Sing You Home, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?)

8. ~~Answer the "50 Questions That Will Free Your Mind" - I like these a lot better than the 30 truth questions I tried to answer, so this should go over much better than that failed attempt~~ I did answer them, and am working on when, if, and how I will share them. Very enlightening, though

9. Lose 25 pounds

10. Run a 5K

11. Go on a vacation with just Dan

12. Send my grandmas handwritten letters or cards once a month

13. Pay off current debt

14. Take a cooking class

15. Get through my bucket list of cooking

16. Continue therapy twice a month for at least 6 months

17. Participate in infertility awareness week in April each year

18. Find a place to volunteer my time once a month

19. Learn a new cupcake recipe per month for 6 months

20. Learn a new frosting recipe per month for 6 months

21. Create one original cookie design per month for 6 months

22. Blog all new cookie, cupcake and frosting recipes/designs

23. Do two Pinterest projects a month for six months, and this can include recipes (tree skirt, flower scarf)

24. Find one new blog to follow each week

25. Read postsecret.com with Dan on Sunday mornings for a month

26. Put away every fresh load of laundry right away for a month

27. Drink 96oz. of water a day for a month (to become a habit)

28. Clean out friends on Facebook once every 6 months. It’s okay to not be friends with everyone

29. Learn how to do fabulous eye makeup

30. Make the dogs homemade biscuits as a once-a-month treat for 6 months

31. Exercise 4 times a week for one month (to become a habit)

32. Paint 3 new pieces

33. Get one new tattoo

34. ~~Attend a blog gathering~~ (TJs at PJs in February 2012)

35. Go to two concerts (Poz and InfeKt - 12/2/11)

36. Write our will

37. ~~Go to Europe~~ That really just isn't going to happen. I'm replacing it with: Amass a collection of greeting cards to be on hand for any occasion

38. Go snow skiing with Dan

39. Invest in 4 quality classic clothing pieces

40. Spread infertility awareness publicly

41. ~~Read three books related to infertility~~ (Sweet Grapes, I'm Taking My Eggs and Going Home, Silent Sorority)

42. Find a way to support or be involved in proper sexual health education

43. Attend a food festival

44. Treat Dan to a sky diving session

45. Learn to shoot a pistol

46. Write Dan an anniversary love letter every year

47. Celebrate the anniversary of our engagement with dinner and Wild Horse each year (~~2012~~, 2013, 2014)

48. Attend a Post Secret event

49. ~~Learn to make headbands~~ Completed 1-4-11, though I will continue to make other kinds

50. Floss daily for a month (to become a habit)

51. Do a 52-week picture challenge

52. Donate my bridesmaid dresses

53. Go to Zoo Lights with our friends’ kids

54. Spend each Christmas Eve with Dan and find something fun and competitive to do together

55. Make a headboard (once we buy our new king sized bed)

56. Commit 3 random acts of kindness

57. Start a “pay it forward” in a Starbucks drive-thru

58. Try one new recipe a week for two months

59. Compliment Dan each day for a month

60. Send two “just because” cards to friends each month for 6 months

61. Learn the moves of one Mortal Kombat character and then play and defeat Dan… by a lot

62. Take my dad to a Rams game

63. Take my mom to a performance of some sort

64. Send a soldier a care package

65. Send 20 Christmas cards to soldiers each year (~~2011~~, 2012, 2013)

66. Watch the news daily for a month

67. Visit Seattle

68. Visit Chicago

69. Visit NYC in the winter

70. Buy and use a sewing machine My mother-in-law is giving me hers, so I won't be buying one, but I still have to learn to use it and make something. I'm thinking craft room curtains

71. ~~Win the Christmas cubicle decorating contest at work~~ (I may in trouble on this one, it seems as though they've done away with the contest. But let me assure you, my Advent Calendar of 2011 is a ginormous hit) I'm calling it a W

72. Do a staycation weekend in Arizona with Dan

73. Paint the living room

74. Throw an adult-like dinner party

75. Donate old clothes twice a year

76. Buy a motorcycle or have a 2 year plan at the end of 1001 days to buy one

77. Send a secret to Post Secret

78. Meet more blog friends (this one is sure to thrill Dan)

79. Learn more about wine

80. Do all my cooking for the week on Sundays for one month

81. Visit 3 farmer’s markets in the valley

82. See the Trans-Siberian Orchestra in concert

83. Volunteer baby-sitting services to our friends once a month so they can have a date night

84. ~~Host Thanksgiving~~ (2011)

85. Find a dog park near the house and take the girls on Sunday mornings for a month

86. Get my Christmas shopping done by Thanksgiving

87. Subscribe to and read a craft magazine for a year

88. Do 100 tweets a month for 3 months

89. Find a show to recap and stick with it for a whole season

90. Get a bigger dining room table

91. Do a major update of the music on my iPod This one might not happen. Now that I have my Kindle, I don't use my iPod. And I only wanted to revamp my music on the iPod so I would use it, but it seems to have been replaced with something I do use, and it has a lot of new music the iPod didn't. That kind of counts, right?

92. Get off blood pressure medication, if possible

93. Max out my HSA for my annual out-of-pocket limit in the event of catastrophic illness

94. Increase retirement savings percentage by at least 2%

95. Surprise Dan with new lingerie for at least one special occasion per year

96. Do my own oil changes for a year (it’s only 4)

97. Organize a cookie exchange

98. Try yoga

99. Take better care of my skin – I’m lucky now, but may not always be

100. Each year, find and buy a planner that functions well for me and use it regularly (2012, 2013, 2014)

101. Write a new list

You may notice there are quite a few that require longevity. I know that I'm not good at starting something and sticking to it when I get bored of it. I'm purposely including tasks I have to keep doing because I want to better myself in that way.

Do you have a 101 in 1001 list?

Take the glue gun away from me

2011-11-09T10:15:00.005-07:00

It's not surprising - because I've said it 1,000 times - that I'm a Pinterest fiend. If I'm at home on a Saturday morning while Dan's in bed, I'm pinning away, adding recipes, photos, and decorating ideas to my boards. What IS surprising to everyone including me (or should be) is that I apparently have an obsession with wreaths. Yes, wreaths. The things old people (sorry, wreath lovers) hang on their doors. Not even two years ago, when I told her that Dan and I don't celebrate or decorate for Valentine's Day, my grandmother asked me incredulously, "you don't have a Valentine's Day wreath for your door!?" Psshhh, no. No way in hell. Except that was then, and this is now, and the Brooke of Now has a wreath pinned for just about every season of the year. Trust me, I hang my head in shame almost on the daily.

I present to you, dear readers, my Fall Wreath (picture taken in the dark on my porch):

I found the tutorial here, but I already had a Halloween (she made it for a shower, but it's totally Halloweeny, right?) wreath that I bought with a coupon at Joann Fabrics when I made my candy corn cones. Anyway, I bought a 12" round wreath (you're thinking "duh, wreaths are round," but the one in the tutorial is squared, smarty) and 8 rolls of ribbon, which is only half as many as the tutorial suggested. Because I didn't think to look at the tutorial while I was at the store. Anyway, I picked a variety of solids, patterns, gross grain and satin ribbons in chocolate and ivory. Actually, at first, I was going to go with really traditional fall - almost turkey-ish - and use brown, red, gold and orange. Only I realized I really didn't like the color combo much at all. I was in the ribbon aisle for about 45 minutes trying to decide and Dan even texted to see if I was alive.

So, chocolate and ivory in a variety of sizes, textures, and patterns. I followed the tutorial pretty exactly, except I would do one thing differently. The instructions said to do 5-6" lengths to use for the loops, but I got kind of distracted with ~~wine~~ TV and some of mine are a little long. Of course, the longer loops are the ones I'm not as happy with. So definitely stick to consistency in the loop cutting. I don't know how the Blue Eyed Bride went about placing hers on her wreath, but I started with the thickest grossgrain ribbon that I had the most of, sort of evenly spacing them on my wreath so I wouldn't bunch them all in one area and totally neglect another. Then I moved on to the second kind of ribbon, then the third, and so on and on and on. I did make sure to glue them down in different directions, so that was good. The only other thing I need to figure out the next time I do one is how to keep the the top layers from flattening out loops on bottom layers. I think the wreath looks fine in the picture, but in person, some areas are floofier (technical term). I also think my wreath came out pretty full, so I'm not sure where I would have put another 6-7 rolls of ribbon. Maybe start with 8 but have a couple extra in case you want to add more, but I really don't think you need 14 (at least for a 12" wreath).

So there ya have it, my latest Pinterest project.

The Lunch Bag

2011-11-02T09:45:00.003-07:00

Last week, on Tuesday, I went to go grab my lunch bag out of the break room refrigerator and found that it was missing. I was piiiiiissed. I usually have ice packs, but I'd forgotten to freeze them so I had to refrigerate it. Then I forgot it because it wasn't at my desk. So I was beyond peeved that someone had decided to steal it just because I'd forgotten it. Being the passive aggressive girl that I am, I left a note asking that it be returned and even left a little line about how the thief could check Target for one of their very own.

On Wednesday, just before I went home, I checked the refrigerator to see if I'd been taken seriously and lo and behold, my lunch bag was there! I couldn't believe it. Only, it had lunch meat and cheese in it. The audacity! I couldn't believe that someone would steeeeal my stuff and then bring it back to the scene of the crime and just go on like they owned it or something. So I took the bag, left the contents behind, and left another note saying that I appreciate the return of my lunch bag but that I was leaving behind the meat and cheese because "I don't take things that aren't mine." Nothing more was said about it, no one protested. The meat and cheese were taken home, and all was good.

And then...

Dan found mine. And I became a supreme a-hole. Ooooooopsies. So today, I returned the "stolen" lunch bag to the break room, along with an apology note and a Starbucks card as a peace offering. I've learned my lesson about jumping to conclusions.... and I'm done with notes. At least we got a good laugh out of it.

Talk it out

2011-10-28T12:56:00.002-07:00

I did something good for myself yesterday. Almost 4 months to the day after finding out about the major cause of our infertility, I went and talked to a counselor. The last four months have been up and down. The initial news was really hard, and the first couple weeks were very painful. Now, like with any other grief, the pain is beginning to subside and the sharp pains come with longer and longer intervals in between, and we're sorting out what we're going to do. There have been even more developments that I'm going to keep private, but I can tell you that they make our chances even more slim.

And so, considering the fact that we are truly grieving a loss, I decided to talk to someone. I found a great counselor and sat down with her yesterday and blabbed on and on about our fears, my confessions, the stumbling blocks, the day-to-day stuff and how our lives are affected by infertility. I cried my eyes out, I laughed, I listened. I learned that it's okay to feel how I feel, because there is no wrong way to feel. The counselor was amazing. She's dealt with other couples struggling with IF, so she's familiar with the things we go through. She listened sympathetically as I got angry about people expressing to me frequently how I just need to do this or try that. She complimented me on how I care for my husband, shielding him and emphasizing how we are a unit in this. It felt really good to have someone sense the strength of our relationship through just an hour of conversation.

I'm glad I did something good for myself. It's not easy to say, "I may not be able to deal with this alone." I often have thoughts that things aren't that bad, relatively speaking, and I have nothing to be upset about compared to ladies who've been through 5 rounds of IVF and still don't have a baby. It was good to hear that I don't have to suffer a certain amount to be worthy of that care. It's also not easy to have to tell a stranger - though a very kind and comforting one - very intimate details in order to convey the gravity of our situation. But I feel so much better having gotten it off my chest and starting the process of working through the losses we've experienced and those we'll continue to endure as we figure out which way is up.

Catching Up

2011-10-25T08:12:00.005-07:00

I've been gone. Not even anywhere incredibly interesting. It's just been super busy. Last I posted, I was getting ready to head to Tucson for my friend Rachel's wedding. This is the story of what's happened in our life since. Get some coffee, it might be long. And grab me a cookie, please and thank you.

Our anniversary weekend was really fun. It started off with a pizza party for all the out-of-towners to meet. I quickly figured out where Rachel gets her "must take a picture of everything" obsession from. I kid you not, somewhere, there's a picture of me and my plate of pizza and salad. I'm posing awkwardly in it because I'm totally caught off guard by the fact that someone wants a picture of me with my dinner. The groom's family is from Spain, but now lives all over the world, and it was really fun to meet them. The super-cute flower girls (the groom's nieces) live in Miami and were super excited to meet Rachel's friends, including me, La Amiga Mas Importante (Spanish for "maid of honor").

On Thursday, I got to spend the day with Rachel - dropping some stuff off at the reception venue, having lunch, getting nails done, talking about friends we were both excited to see. Perfectly relaxing day. We went to the rehearsal (which was interesting and long, so very long) and then just Rachel and I and the bridesmaids went to a gourmet burger restaurant for dinner. Absolutely delicious. If you live in Arizona, you need at least one Zin Burger experience in your lifetime.

The wedding was gorgeous. I teared up about a thousand times during the day - my best friend was beautiful, she was marrying a great guy. It was all very emotional. Side note: I was never a very emotional person. Ever. I'm not sentimental, I don't find myself to be very compassionate. And then, I got engaged. Since I got engaged, I turned into what Dan calls a "mush pot." In fact, he calls me Henry the Mush Pot. Long story.

Anyway, wedding: gorgeous. It was so much fun dancing all night, seeing old friends. I was super nervous about having to give a speech, and I can't even begin to tell you how funny that turned out to be. I'll try though. So I'd had a couple drinks by the time I had to give it, but I'd also had a lot of water. Don't worry, I don't pee on myself. I'm just trying to emphasize that I was balancing out the wine with water. So I was at a fun point where I giggle at everything but I'm no where near sloppy or anything. So, the best man - the groom's brother - was up first. And he went on and on and on. For a while. And then said "and that's point one." And then he had two other points. And then, finally, he said "and lastly, on my wedding day, our uncle (insert uncle's name) sang to me and my wife, and so now I present to you, (insert uncle's name)." Um, yeah, the groom's brother is an opera singer and proceeded to belt out this beautiful song. I was listening, of course, but I was mostly also looking around at my parents and friends with wide eyes and giggling (quietly), thinking, "how the eff do I follow this?!" So the singer/uncle finished, the crowd went wild, and I got up to take the mic, and people start chanting, "Encore! Encore!" Say what?! So the mic is ripped from my hand and the guy sings again. At this point, I'm just dumbfounded, I lost my train of thought, had no idea where to even start. I have little recollection of what I said, aside from a very hilarious, "well, that's what you get when you have 10 years to plan a speech" (because the bride and groom were engaged for 10 years - helpful info) and I talked about how they take thousands of pictures of food (no joke). So yeah, that was my encore matron-of-honoring experience in a nutshell. I'm retiring from bridesmaiding and refuse to make any single friends.

After all that, I had to get up early on Saturday and drive back home to get ready for the BBQ I planned to celebrate Dan's birthday. We had a really fun night with friends, eating, drinking, playing Guitar Hero, and watching our friends' two-year-old trying to play Bocce ("dees baws weawy hebby"). On Sunday, we had to celebrate our friends' son's birthday at Peter Piper (really not fun hungover, BTW) and then I took Dan shopping for shoes and did some other window shopping. We had our anniversary/Dan's birthday dinner at our new favorite sushi place. All in all, a fabulous weekend of celebrating.

Since then, life has been more mellow, but still busy. We had a friend and her two kids over for dinner one night, I met up with Temerity Jane and Brie for dinner, and we had a garage sale this past weekend. Side note: garage sales are interesting, by the way. First, I'm amazed that people would want to buy my junk that I don't want. And secondly, at some point, it gets hot and the crowds die down and you're just sitting on your driveway with all your junk. Anyway, with our garage sale earnings and our cut from the sale of a golf cart on my mom's behalf, we installed a new security door and got our turtles a new tank... and the dogs got costumes. Money very well spent.

Up on deck the next few days: we need to prep our wall to be cut for the RV gate we're installing, our friend is moving in for a while, and we're going trick-or-treating with our friends' kids, which I'm super excited about.

Also, I just have to brag a minute, because this is adorable and funny. I'm a prize. Yes, that's right. Mrs. ESPN's daughter, Chatty, was in a soccer tourney this past weekend and came in 2nd place. Since she had to play against girls who are older than her, she decided she was entitled to a prize. And that prize is me. And Dan. See, we're watching Mrs. ESPN's younger daughter, Bia, the weekend before Thanksgiving, and Chatty decided that wasn't fair and decided that to make things even, she needed a babysitting sesh with the Awesome Kingstons, too. So we are apparently her reward for a game well-played. I feel so honored :)

Alright, that's enough for now!

The Second Year

2011-10-12T12:00:00.002-07:00

It’s going to be a very busy few days, so I decided to write this now before I leave for Tucson for Rachel’s wedding, which will be followed by Dan’s birthday BBQ and then our friend’s son’s birthday party. Like I said – busy weekend.

It’s been almost two years since we said our vows and became husband and wife. It’s hard to believe another year has gone by. It’s been so full in so many ways, and so empty in others. I always remember hearing that the first year is the hardest. I guess people assumed that maybe for couples who didn’t live together before marriage, all the adjustments all at once would make for a difficult time, and I could see how that would be. Our first year, though, was a thing of beauty. It was a fantastic year, full of happiness and fun.

In many ways, today is very much like this day a year ago, with much to be thankful for. We still love each other deeply, and we have had many blessings. We’re healthy (mostly), happy, and are now homeowners. We have amazing family and friends surrounding us. Our dogs are awesome. We each have new opportunities on the horizon to keep us looking forward. In the last year, we saw both our siblings get married, spent time with old friends and made new ones, celebrated my 30th birthday, bought a house and did some major over-hauls, and I baked a lot. It's been great year in many ways.

Yet, there’s something missing. Back at this time last year, I think we both thought there would be a new member of our family in our lives. Instead, the last 6 months have been marked by diagnoses, infertility, and uncertainty about our future as parents. This second year, which should have been a walk in the park compared to that “hardest” first year, has been one of trial and heartache at times.

Still, it’s nearly our second anniversary, and I wouldn’t want to have spent the last two years with anyone else. Memories of our wedding are still among my fondest, and our love continues to grow. I still can’t believe I am the lucky girl that got to marry Dan.

Happy Anniversary, Buddy. I love you!

Oh, and happy birthday, too :)

Is there rehab for this?

2011-10-09T11:30:00.004-07:00

Pinterest struck again, people. I didn't take pictures of the whole project, but it was super easy. I had found a cute photo similar to this a couple weeks ago:

So I headed to Joann armed with a 20% your entire purchase (including sale items!) coupon. I picked up an 18" cone and a 12" cone from the floral department. You know, where they keep the foam wreaths and stuff. Then I went to the yarn section and picked up thick bulky yarn in orange, white, and yellow. I also got a glue gun (for $2.50!) and glue, since I didn't have one.

Before I started, I marked off my color-change points, splitting the cone up into approximate thirds (or so I thought - turns out the white was a little more than a third, but I was consistent with both cones). I started at the top with the white, and glued the whole first wrap-around with it. I wound it consistently around the cone, gluing about 1/2" every couple of rows to keep things anchored. I made sure to switch to orange along the seam in the back so that I would have an obvious front and back. When I switched, I made sure to glue the whole first row of the new color. I also glued the whole last row of yellow at the bottom, and had to overlap a little, since I hadn't wound perfectly straight all the way down. For the top, I made a small coil the size of the top and then hot-glued it right on. Super easy! The yarn in the inspiration photo was apllied a little more haphazardly, with strands overlapping and more like a ball of yarn would look. I prefered a cleaner look, so I wrapped my yarn neatly with one row right under the other.

I think they came out really cute, and put them on the mantle with some pumpkins for a festive touch.

BTW, all the Fall and Halloween decorations are 60% off at Joann right now, and with the 20% off coupon, I saved far more than I spent on some cute decorations for the house.

My Pinteresting weekend

2011-09-26T08:07:00.005-07:00

Hey there! It's been a while, huh? Sorry. Not much has been going on, so there hasn't been much to write about, but I finally have a few things. Friday was the Poz and Infekt concert. It was the finals to play Fall Frenzy. We had a nice group going, including our friends' kids who were so excited to be there. We had so much fun with them. The concert was a blast - they pulled out all the stops in terms of making it a fun and interactive show. Unfortunately, they didn't win the finals and won't be playing this Friday. We were so bummed, but I highly doubt this will be the end of these guys.

We were lazy Saturday. Or at least I was. And so were these two:

I was lazy for a reason though - I was glued to Facebook waiting for updates on the birth of my dear friend Kari's daughter. She arrived in the evening after about 12 hours of labor. Her name is Brynn Marie and she is absolutely adorable. You know how some newborns are all "rrrreeeeeeaaaaaaaa" like baby velociraptor with their gangly fingers? (Come on, you know it's true - they can't all be cute.) Not this baby. She's 100% cute. But then, I may be biased since I'm her auntie.

On Sunday, we worked on a couple projects, one of which was my chalkboard menu for the kitchen. I had purchased the frame with a coupon at Joann Fabrics and was just waiting to find the right piece of wood to paint with my chalkboard paint. It had to be thick enough to fit in the frame and sturdy enough to withstand pressure when being written on. At the same time, it couldn't be too heavy and obviously couldn't be warped. I know what you're thinking: why not just buy a chalkboard? Well, what's the fun in that? So Dan finally found the perfect piece of wood and cut it down to the right size. He was anxious and painted while I napped, along with the inside of one side of our pantry. Kinda cool - now we have a chalkboard right there for jotting down staples we need to add to my shopping list. Not a bad idea, Dan. Finally, it dried enough and we hung it:

It looks a little boring right there all by itself, but I assure you there's other stuff right under it and my baking supply dresser and the turtle tank are right next to it. I couldn't write on it yet when I took this - the paint has to set for 24 hours - but I was just to excited not to take a pic. Isn't it cute? Yay, Pinterest! Stay tuned for my next Pinterest-inspired project.

What did you do this weekend?

I'm kind of a big deal

2011-09-14T21:49:00.006-07:00

Seriously. Our friends' band, Poz and Infekt recently posted their newest music video for their song, (Party) After Party, and yours truly is in it. That's right. Me. In a music video. Well, in the last like 5 seconds of a music video (I'm the chick in light grey bouncing around when Poz does the row of low fives at the In N Out Parking Lot Concert), but still.

Check it:

Also, we went to their concert again on Friday. They're in a contest to open for Blink182 at Fall Frenzy here in Phoenix. They won the round Friday and play again in the finals on the 23rd. If they win that, they'll open on the 30th and we'll be there to dance our asses off.

I know I talked about them in a previous post, but srsly, you guys, this band is FUN! They've had a number of bands over the years, the most recently a heavy metal band called Revenant. And then they got the crazy idea to make a rap video, and their album, "No Coattails to Ride" was born. The songs are fun, hilarious, and the beats are awesome. I seriously just love them. Truly, check them out if you have a minute. And look for me in the video :)

If YHL can do it, so can I

2011-09-06T07:42:00.007-07:00

This was a weekend of renovation (on the small scale) and organization. We got a lot done. The laundry "room" got a makeover, my baking stuff got moved into the dresser in the kitchen, the green couch is gone (sorry, Paisley) and the sectional has been separated and rearranged to make it feel like less of a monster in our small living room. I also got a start on a couple DIY projects that will be coming soon.

First, the laundry room. Dan had talked about painting it when we first moved in, but hadn't so much as mentioned it since. Well, apparently, Saturday was the day he decided to not only talk about it, but do it. He went to the gym on Saturday morning and came home with some paint swatches.... paint swatches that made me cringe. Most of the colors chosen could best be described as "breastmilk poop yellow." Kinda icky. But he loved them. As we were ~~arguing about~~ discussing the color options, he mentioned that he wanted to put the red chandelier in there. This red chandelier was actually a gold chandelier that hung over the entryway when we bought the house and was replaced and then repainted the day after we moved in. It's not that I don't like it (it IS pretty cool) but not for that space. I had a better idea. So I decided to go for a give-and-take approach. I agreed to let Dan choose the color if I could pick the light fixture.

My grand inspiration?

The clothespin chandelier from Young House Love. Totally brilliant right? And perfectly suited for a laundry room. Upon seeing the tutorial, Dan agreed that it was a pretty cool idea and the red chandelier was nixed. So off we went to Lowe's where we picked up 300 clothespins, wire gardening mesh, and a gallon of Dan's color choice, Valspar Golden Avocado.

It took me roughly an hour to assemble the chandelier, between cutting the gardening mesh (wire cutters are a bitch) and clipping the clothespins. I was a little short on the number - I need to get another bag of 50 to finish off that little bald section as well as another full row to hide the bottom of the wire frame. I'm pretty psyched about the result though. In total, it took us about 3 hours to take our boring laundry closet from white-with-floral-wall-paper blahness to this (it's a closet, so hard to photograph, sorry):

I didn't even realize it at the time, but even the yellowness matches somewhat with YHL's color scheme. I want to get some baskets or something to put the shelf contents in and maybe an art print so the walls aren't so plain, but I think it's already a vast improvement. The chandelier was actually pretty heavy, and I thought hanging it might be a challenge. There was a glass dome light fixture - the kind where screws hold the glass on, ya know? (This is my clueless girl-meets-house lingo, BTW) Dan just made loops out of a heavy wire that he attached to the top of the mesh frame and hung them on the screws. So it hangs a little lower relative to the the bulb in comparison to the YHL version, but because it's a small space and the viewing angle is essentially straight up, you can't really tell.

And even though it won't be finding its home in the laundry room, the red chandelier is still haunting me. Dan is threatening to use the same fire engine red shade to paint our washer and dryer. Why he wants the room to look like ketchup and mustard, I'm not sure. But I have a feeling I may come home one day to find it done, and I'll probably hear "I told you it would look good."

Why I hate Facebook lately

2011-09-02T08:56:00.005-07:00

For anyone who's been on Facebook the last couple weeks, you've probably seen the latest wave of posts that look like this: "I'm 4 weeks and I'm craving peanut butter." You might see it and stop and go "oh my, my friend is clearly pregnant! I shall congratulate her." Only, the post has nothing to do with a pregnancy, but is part of some clever little game spread via mass forwarding to - supposedly - increase breast cancer awareness.

Because I need to get it all out of my system once and for all, here are my issues with this nonsense.

1. The email explaining this little game (and others like it) tells recipients to post their status as "I'm ____ weeks and I'm craving _____." The first blank spot correlates to the month in which you were born, and the second blank is filled using a list of foods corresponding to the day of the month of your birth. It claims that the purpose of this is to be raise awareness about breast cancer, but it provides no actual resources, sites, or facts about the disease.

2. The "game" is specifically limited to women, based on the email. Men make up 50% of our population. They are the husbands, fathers, brothers, and sons of women with breast cancer. They can be an invaluable tool in raising awareness, and information should not be limited to women. Not to mention, over 2,000 men are diagnosed and 450 men die a year from breast cancer. Keeping this information from them can literally be detrimental to their health and well-being.

3. The deceitful pregnancy status does nothing to raise awareness if the only people who know the code are the ones who get the accompanying email forward. Which means that - assuming no one in my 200+ friends got the email as well - if I post the status, not one of them knows what the hell I'm talking about. Awareness? No, pretty much just confusion when I have to explain to them that I am not in fact pregnant. I'm pretty sure that even by the time I've explained that it's supposed to be about breast cancer awareness, no one will even care because they'll be annoyed with me for toying with their emotions.

4. Raising awareness - to me - means giving people information. Crazy concept, right? There is nothing informative about the color of my underwear (last year's game) in regard to breast cancer. Raising awareness means teaching people about detection through self exams and mammograms. It means providing resources to learn facts. It means spreading the word about the Race for the Cure and other benefits that raise money for research. Someone please tell me how "I'm 3 weeks and craving effing pretzels" does this. Please.

I realize that this may seem to be an odd thing to get so worked up about, but it really just pisses me off. Treating an illness as a joke is not cool. I suppose I should post about my favorite medieval weapon and say it's for testicular cancer awareness, because it's pretty much just as useful. I'm also passionate about this because breast cancer is sort of my chosen recipient of charitable donations. I've donated cookies for bake sale fundraisers for 3-day walkers as well as money. I donated my wedding dress to give terminal breast cancer patients a last wish. I didn't give my most favorite and exquisite possession to something I don't believe in, and I don't appreciate it being made into a joke.

Not to mention, I'm sure you can imagine that seeing faux pregnancy announcements isn't super fun for me. I don't find that much of a joke either. But this isn't just about me. Cancer treatments often make survivors infertile because of the poisons introduced to the body to fight the disease. So to "raise awareness" of breast cancer by pretending to be pregnant in a forum where survivors - who may now be unable to conceive in exchange for having their lives saved - may see it is truly a slap in the face. Everytime I see one of these status messages I will post a link to the National Breast Cancer Foundation and I will explain my above reasons until I'm blue in the face, if I have to.

Seriously people, think before you status.

And because I'm not a hypocrite, here is a link to the National Breast Cancer Foundation

It is also Thyroid Cancer Awareness Month in September, and I'm fortunate enough to have two survivors in your life. Check Your Neck, people

A letter to my friends

2011-08-29T19:21:00.003-07:00

I've been writing this letter over the past couple of weeks as I sort out my feelings, figuring out what I would want to be able to say to friends about what's going on if I had the guts to just let it all out there. For my real-life friends, this isn't meant to offend or make anyone feel as though they've done anything wrong. It's just me being honest and as open as I can be.

Dear Friend,

I may or may not have shared this with you, but Dan and I have a sort of secret. We are two of 7 million Americans (one in eight couples) with fertility issues. Both of us are affected – not only do we each have our own issue, but even if it was just one of us, we’d still be in the same place. One of us can’t make a baby without the other, so we’re in this together. We’ve been through testing, we have diagnoses. We have a realistic understanding of our options and our chances. What’s going on isn’t a result of not relaxing or not doing something right or not wanting or praying hard enough. It isn’t about timing, positions, or old wives’ tales. It can’t be fixed by adopting or not trying. I know it seems that everyone knows someone who got pregnant when they stopped trying or started the adoption process, but it’s not the case for everyone. Adoption is not in our cards, nor is IVF. For a number of reasons, Dan and I have made a decision we feel is right for us for the time being, and that’s to not move forward with any testing or treatment. Because of fear of miscarriage made more likely by my issue, we are actively avoiding pregnancy while not in the care of a specialist. We are in full agreement in this decision, and it’s a necessary break to get us to a point where we can re-evaluate if we will be trying again.

Please understand that though we made this decision together and are confident now, it wasn’t easy and it’s still very raw. There is a lot of grief in our home right now. Our hearts are heavy. My emotions are intense and irrational at times. There are good days and awful days. I want you to know, friend, that despite all this, I am happy for you as you grow your family. I am excited for you as you announce your pregnancy, and I look forward to spoiling your child and seeing you as a mom. That said, it isn’t easy for me to watch you experience things I long for. I fear I won’t get to tell my husband we’re expecting, see the ultrasound, hear the heartbeat. I may never get to decorate a nursery, feel the baby move, or give birth and hear that first tiny cry. My husband may never be a father, and my parents may never have grandchildren that aren’t my sister’s kids. So while I am happy for you, dear friend, my heart aches when I see your announcements on Facebook. Baby shower invitations make tears spring to my eyes. Pictures and videos of your little one, though sweet and appreciated, often make a lump rise in my throat. Little moments and glimpses into your life as a mom-to-be can make a good day go bad in a matter of seconds through no fault of your own.

My goal through all of this has been to grieve privately, and celebrate your joys publicly. It doesn’t always work that way, though. While I may not appear sad when you show me pictures or share something cute your husband said about the baby, inside I’m just holding it together. I would never want to take away from your moment. I will not skip baby showers, and I will not dismiss you as a friend for having what I desire. But sometimes, I need time. Sometimes, I may cry – know that if I do so in front of you, it means I trust you with my feelings of grief. Please understand that if I have to walk away or take a day to myself, it isn’t because I don’t love you. It’s because I need that for me. I’m constantly torn between not wanting to be handled with kid gloves, and needing some sensitivity. I don’t want you to not feel free to express your joy and share this experience with me, but I need you to know that sometimes it’s too much and I need a minute, an hour, a day to hash it out. I’m very conscious of my fear of becoming jealous or “bitter.” I’m not asking you to change how you express your happiness and share your family experiences, just to have a little awareness and understanding of how I may react if my emotions get to me. Because it truly is a case of “it’s not you, it’s me.”

There may be times when I withdraw into myself. I go through periods of days or even a week or two where the safest place for my emotions is within me. I may not call to hang out, or talk or text. I may be vague on Facebook. I may just be generally distant. It doesn’t mean I don’t want to talk to you or hang out, I just feel that I lack the energy and motivation to make the effort. I want to spend time with you, chat, and have lunch. Sometimes, though, I feel that I’m experiencing more reminders of our infertility and keeping to myself means less opportunities for that to happen. Sometimes, not talking about IF is achieved by not talking, period. So please, don’t mistake my distance for lack of care. Your friendship is still important to me. I’m just being guarded, and I’ll come around if you just give me time.

I value you, friend. I’m excited for you, and happy for your family. That happiness for you is a distinct emotion from my sadness, yet the former often reminds me of the latter. I will do my best to be a supportive and loving friend as you prepare for and experience motherhood. Just please understand that I am mourning something I never had, and even if Dan and I are successful in having a baby one day, this will have forever changed us. We’ve already had to accept many changes and losses since we started trying to start a family. I fear that everything will change, in fact, including my friendship with you. I worry immensely that you being a mom and raising your family will create a divide between us. I don’t want to lose my friends, too. I don’t want to be left out and left behind. Both Dan and I want to be special people in your kids’ lives and spoil them and love them, as we know you would do for our children.
Thank you for being a supportive and wonderful part of my life.

Always,
Brooke

Showers, dust, and kiddos

2011-08-29T09:26:00.004-07:00

This was a weekend of celebrations all around. First up on Saturday was the shower for my friend, Rachel, in Tucson. I'm her matron of honor, and the bridesmaids and I spent the last 6 weeks planning and organizing. It was actually really great how everyone kind of took on a task and ran with it. Two girls took on food and decor. The bridesmaid in NY handled the favors and had them shipped out since she couldn't attend. Another bridesmaid took care of the games and prizes. I did the cake and some keep-sake type stuff, along with the odds and ends that didn't fall into any other category. And it all went just beautifully.

Rachel's wedding color (or the color of our dresses, anyway) is latte. We went with a blue, cream, and latte colored palette to stay within her taste but add some color and make it distinct from the wedding. The cake was made to match the invite. One of the bridesmaids managed to find latte colored roses, the same flowers that Rachel is incorporating into the bouquets. Here are some pics of the spread (mmmm, Costco chicken and cranberry salad sandwiches) and decor.

After cleaning up after the shower, I hung out with my parents for a bit, then headed home and had the lovely privilege of driving through a dust storm. Funny thing, the news people have been calling them "haboobs." Apparently, it's an Arabic word for these giant rolling dust storms. I've lived in Arizona my whole life, and not once have I ever heard them called a haboob before this summer. Weird. But anyway, it was so dusty, I couldn't see more than about 40 feet ahead, if that. The car in front of me took his foot off the brake and literally disappeared. Thankfully, it didn't last long, but it was a stressful 10 minutes as I drove through it.

I finally got home and got to hang out on the NEW COUCH! Yay! I didn't take pictures, because it looks completely jammed in our living room right now. We haven't decided if our old couch will be sold or donated, so we have both in the living room right now, including the chaise lounge part of the new couch that's supposed to reside in our living room. We have stadium seating, people. Paisley parked herself on the old couch, demonstrating once again that I think she'd be perfectly happy living in a house all her own, so long as she gets fed on the regular. Once the new couch is placed properly in the room, I think it's going to be fabulous.

Yesterday was our friends' daughter's 2nd birthday party. I can hardly believe our little Princess Kadence is a two-year-old. She's just so much fun, and so adorable. She was all jazzed up yesterday at her party and talking non-stop. She just adores Dan, and always says "hi, Dan" in her tiny voice whenever he walks by her or she notices he's in the room. She got a ton of toys and had a blast playing with them, though her favorite gift by far was none other than Disney Princess Chap Stick. Our wedding photographer's wife and children were also there, and their 9-year-old son and 7-year-old daughter had a blast playing with Dan (and his iPhone apps). It happened to be the 9-year-old's birthday yesterday (which we didn't know until we got there), and after we left, Dan decided he wanted to go get him a gift. This kid has the most awesome sense of humor, so Dan did a great job picking out the perfect card and gift bag for him. It was really sweet.

Here's a picture of our piggy-tailed little lady enjoying her cake and ice cream. It's amazing how big she looks. I just can't wait to watch her grow up into a (feisty) little girl.

How was your weekend? Any celebrations?

I need a Pinterest project intervention

2011-08-22T14:48:00.008-07:00

One of the things that we noticed instantly when we shopped for our house was that the bathrooms had shower doors. Meh. Dan said immediately that we'd get rid of them, but they didn't bother me so much. That is, until I had to try to give the dogs a bath and couldn't lean in very far to wash them and even then I was leaning on the metal door tracking. Not good at all. For Dan, it's even worse that he has to kind of scrounch down to enter the shower.

So it should have been no surprise to me to come home on Friday and find that his shower door had been evicted, and that mine was up next. I got way more excited than I should have because it meant I got to pick out shower curtains. Because we'd been talking about taking the doors out at some point I'd been surfing the net looking for a design I liked. I even pinned a few on Pinterest.

Unfortunately, all my pins were from online dealers, and since we were about to be completely without shower water barriers, they didn't do me much good. Off to Bed Bath and Beyond I went with my coupon to find a substitute. I was pretty excited, y'all. Shower curtains are kind of one of my "things." I love picking out a cool one and planning the rest of the bathroom around it. This time, since we already have all the towels we need and color schemes in place, I needed to work in reverse and find something that would go with our "milk chocolate" walls and the green and purple accents in each of our respective bathrooms (yes, we have our own bathrooms). I was pretty disappointed that I couldn't find anything with a chocolate or brown pattern with pops of accent colors. The only awesome think I found with purple was sold out and very hard to keep in stock apparently, according to the manager at BB&B. I went from BB&B to Target (which sucked even more) and then back and finally settled on these:

Not what I was expecting, but I found that I loved how they were both modern and organic. And even though the shower doors had been frosted glass, the white lightened up the room. Dan bought curved rods, which makes the tub space feel even bigger, which is very nice. Not to mention, he was able to hang them at a nice and comfy 6'7" off the ground, so he can step into it without any crouching, scrunching, or otherwise shortening himself.

Dan also took the icky old security door that was on the little shed out back, cleaned it, and sprayed it with new metallic paint to go on the door leading from the garage out to the patio. He was a very busy guy on Friday afternoon.

We have another big improvement coming to the house this coming Saturday, too.... a new couch! A sectional to be exact. Our living room is kind of odd with it's shape and multiple focal points. Even more annoying about it is the lack of seating with just the couch and our Cracker Barrel (thanks, Dad) rocking chair. When we have two other people over, we're one seat short. So we decided to fix one of those issues and ordered this lovely thing:

It's the perfect shade of lightish brown and it's nice and comfy. It's also not as deep as the current couch, so the part of it that will be where our couch currently sits won't seem as big and bulky and eyesore-ish (which crazy emotional me has been crying about for like 3 weeks, but that's another story for another day). However, it's huge lengthwise... 12x8'. So that chaise part will likely be parked in our bedroom, meaning I'm getting one of those fancy seating areas in my master bedroom to read in like you see in Better Homes & Gardens. Awesome. Living the high life, people.

My next project:

A chalkboard menu! See, isn't Pinterest fun? I need to find the right frame, and I fully intend to paint wood with chalkboard paint (even though Dan insists you can buy chalkboards, pshaw) and hang it on a blank kitchen wall. I also want to make a cute monogrammed something or other to hang my aprons in the kitchen. Dan wants to paint the tiny wall behind our built in shelf the same dark blueish grey as the hallway and then set some of our own original artwork on an easel up there. Lastly, we want to fix up the dinky fireplace. I'd like to have it done in time for Christmas, but it just remains to be seen whether or not that happens. Dan's plan is to replace the blechy tile around it and build a new solid wood mantle. The one there now is literally a piece of flimsy wood and I have to be very careful with putting anything heavy on it. We want something more substantial and grand looking. See? We have all sorts of things going on, and hopefully the weather will start to cool down and we'll feel less blech (how many times have I said 'blech' in this post?) and get to work on them.

What projects are you working on? Have you discovered Pinterest? Do you need an intervention, too?

Happy 2nd Birthday, Clo!

2011-08-18T07:36:00.003-07:00

Two years ago today, our silly little lady was born. She didn't come home to live with us until 8 weeks later, but still. Today is her birthday, a momentous day for sure.

She's changed so much since last year. For starters, she's actually house broken. For the most part. Having a yard and a dog door did wonders in that regard. But her personality is different, too. Last year, she wasn't much of a cuddler. She was far too busy for affection unless she was exhausted. Now, she's a little lover, giving kisses and cuddles. She's still busy, but she takes time out of her busy schedule of collecting sticks and chewing tree pods to toss some affection our way. She still loves on Paisley endlessly. She licks her ears and her eyes, and always lays down as close as she can possibly get to her big sis.

Clover is still as funny as she's ever been, and has her particular little quirks. She doesn't sit down to scratch her ears, but rather balances on three legs. She races to the kitchen every time she hears the dishwasher open and "helps" me pre-wash the silverware (only when it's dirty, of course). She still loves buttons, and ruined a brand new comforter after only 7 days of use when she ripped a button off and kept right on going with the chewing. She loves when I break out the Hulk Hands and when Dan pretends to be an auctioneer a la Storage Wars and gets excited and barks playfully at us. At meal time, she follows me to the garage door, doing jumps and spins the whole way as she waits for me to fill her bowl. She loves to stand on Dan's chest and give him kisses, and she most often rests her head on his shoulder as she sits behind him on the back of the couch.

Our little Bug is just as sweet as can be, and I can hardly believe it's been almost 2 years since we brought her home with us. Tonight we'll celebrate with some special treats and extra kisses and hugs. Happy Birthday, Clover!!

Cafeteria Challenge Update: Day 24

2011-08-10T11:25:00.003-07:00

This is the last week of the 30 day Cafeteria Challenge, and the last week and a half have been so-so. I did great with avoiding breakfasts and sodas, but I had lunches a couple of times in the last 12 days since the last update. One night, Dan decided he wanted sushi; another night, dinner didn't turn out so well. This past weekend, I didn't shop on Sunday, so I didn't have a salad for Monday. So I haven't saved as much. However, like I said, I haven't bought a single cafeteria soda in 24 days, and I've limited myself only to salads when I do get lunch from down there. So despite not pulling through on the savings, I've at least made better lunch choices and saved roughly $2 a lunch compared to the expensive entrees. In the last 8 work days (which equals 12 calendar days), I've saved $57.95, bringing the 24 day total to $150.45. Not bad. The goal is to finish out the remaining 4 work days strong and bank the last $24.

At least he didn't buy horses

2011-08-08T07:27:00.003-07:00

When I was 9 or 10 years old, my mom went away to Kansas City for a teaching conference for several days, leaving me and Megan with our dad. From what I remember, it was an awesome week. We went to Grandma's for dinner a couple nights, and got to eat McDonald's. One night we had "yellow food day," where Dad made us corn, mac'n'cheese, and hotdogs with mustard. Awesomely clever. I don't know if it was inspired by his special dinner, but he also decided to paint the living room yellow that week. Like lemony sweet sunshine yellow.

In addition to yellow-ifying our lives, Dad also surprised us with something really special. Ponies! Er, horses. Like every little girls asks for. We got to go see meet them, and Dad traded our neighbors a case of soda or beer for use of their trailer to move the horses to a nearby friend's horse property where they'd be kept. Apparently, my parents had discussed this, but it was a big surprise for me and Megan. And when I say they had "discussed it," evidently my dad had mentioned he wanted horses "at some point." So you can imagine my mother's surprise when she came home a week later to find that her living room was painted yellow and she was told that we now owned not one, but two, Arabian geldings. Surprise!

This weekend, I headed to Tucson to see my friend, Rachel. I'm her ~~maid~~ matron of honor and she wanted to get the bridesmaids all together. When I asked Dan if he wanted me to take Paisley and Clover with me, he told me that he had big plans for their time together. He'd bought nail clippers and planned to give pedicures and baths. He also planned to do some other things around the house, but was kind of vague.

When I showed up at Rachel's house, her parents with there with their two dogs, whom Rachel and her fiance would be keeping for the night (in addition to me). Her mom was talking about how Rachel's dad had brought each of the dogs home without cluing her in, and I told her about how my dad had done the same but with horses, so it could be worse. We kind of laughed about how husbands are silly and forgot about it.

When I got home yesterday, I instantly noticed something was different. Dan had cleaned the carpet (yay!) and clipped a grand total of one dog nail ("but they're getting used to it")(yay, Clover!). I then glanced down the hallway and saw this:

That is my new blueish grey wall, a paint color that we apparently discussed - and I dismissed - back in our apartment-living days. It looks a lot more blue in the photo than it does in person. Dan decided it was the perfect wall for the color because it would make the pictures stand out more, and I have to agree. I really love it. But you'd better believe I checked the yard and the rest of the house for any more surprises, horses in particular. Don't worry, there weren't any.

Have your husbands every surprised you with a home decorating project and/or pet purchase?

My delusions will become reality

2011-08-02T20:44:00.005-07:00

Dan and I watch a lot of cooking shows. Our favorites are the competition shows, especially with Gordon Ramsay. His flair is "stunning." We love when a mystery ingredient is revealed - we look at each other and ask, "what would you make?" When we're bored in the car, we play "Chopped" where we try to come up with the most jacked up combinations of foods (ribs, Cheerios, passion fruit and Jello, anyone?) to see what the other would make with them. It's a nerdy little thing we do, and cuisine is something we're both interested in.

All the cooking shows have ignited this fabulously inflated perception that I actually could cook like a chef. The reality is, we eat crock pot chicken weekly and I sometimes over-cook asparagus. While I may never actually get to go to culinary school, I'm inspired to at least try to expand my horizons and learn some new techniques. I've been keeping a mental list of things I see that I want to learn to make, and I've decided to create a sort of bucket list and challenge myself to learn them. Not perfect, but try. It may not be fabulous, but I want to at least give these foods a shot. Now some of these may make you say "pshaw, I make that in my sleep." Well, I don't. Feel free to share your recipe :)

My Cooking To-Do List:

Risotto

Lemon curd

Ravioli from scratch

Mascarpone

Live lobster

Tiramisu

A grown-up Mac'n'Cheese

Cornish game hen (just 'cause it sounds fancy)

Beef Wellington

Caesar dressing

Ceviche

Crabcakes

Trifle

Red wine reduction (I know! I should know how to do this)

3 gluten free dessert recipes

Shrimp tempura sushi roll

French onion soup

Hollandaise sauce (I don't like it, but I feel like I should know how to make it)

Stuffed french toast (a Chopped staple)

Homemade tortillas

Caramel

This list will, I'm sure, be expanded. These are just the items I've added to my mental list over the last few weeks, and I'm sure I'll come up with more. But I think it's a good starting point.

What's on your cooking to-do list?

Cafeteria Challenge Update: Day 12

2011-07-29T09:26:00.003-07:00

Today marks day 12 of the cafeteria challenge. Last week was better. I had breakfast at work once this week because I was running late and didn't have the time to make my egg whites and turkey sausage breakfast. I also had a salad from the salad bar for lunch that day. That'll teach me for hitting snooze too many times. The rest of the week, though, I stuck to it. I saved $41.36 this week, for a running total of $92.50. That's scary. It's not always fun eating leftovers when there aremore tasty looking options downstairs (which I often get a sneak peak of when I go to refill my water). But it's worth it when I have the extra money we'd rather put toward other things.

In other news, have a house guest this week. My parents are in Seattle visiting my sister and brother-in-law, so we have their chocolate lab staying with us. it's been a bit of an adjustment. Emmy was anxious (understandably) the first couple of nights going to bed in our house and did some pacing. Yesterday when my alarm went off, she was right in my face at 5:30 wanting to play. She's such a sweet girl to have around though, and she certainly keeps Clover busy. I'm hoping I'll get to sleep in tomorrow, but I'm not betting on it - Emmy's got my dad trained to feed her early. But hopefully I'll be able to get a nap in.

Gallery wall: check!

2011-07-24T15:43:00.005-07:00

I finally got something done I've been saying for weeks that I need to do: my gallery wall. I'm really happy with the balance and arrangement, and it's put together in a way that stuff can be added later. Check it out:

I didn't do it quite the way I'd intended. I read on Young House Love that they made a newspaper template for each frame, arranged the templates on the wall with painter's tape for the proper placement, then measured and nailed so that each frame would hang precisely over its template. Great idea in theory, but it wasn't visual enough of the actual finished product for me. I had a collection of mix'n'match frames, photos from 3 occasions, and black and whites to balance out. So I laid all the frames out on the floor behind the couch to see what they would look like, and moved frames around to get everything balanced: no alike frames next to each other, no pics from the same occasion next to each other. Then I called Dan over to see what he thought because he's got a great eye for balance. We only swapped two frames and then got to nailing.

The great part is that this project didn't cost me much. The four wedding photos were a gift from my mom. The three large 8x10's from our This is Life Photography shoot were framed with Michael's coupons for a total of about $45, most of which I used a gift card for. The remaining 6 frames were bought for $4.49 each at Target, and finished with $2.50 mats from Joann Fabrics. Not bad for a display that I'm pretty darn happy with.

Show Us Your Life: Marriage Advice

2011-07-22T07:46:00.005-07:00

I haven't participated in it in a while, but today's Show Us Your Life on Kelly's Korner seemed fun. Today's topic is marriage advice. Now, mind you, I've only been married 21 months and 6 days, so I don't know everything. But I do know a few things.

- Laugh a lot. We laugh all the time. Dan is a funny, funny guy. Sometimes he just gets in these moods and his only goal seems to be cracking me up. Those are fabulous moments. And keep in mind they don't have to be funny to anyone else. Some people just would not get our humor, and that's okay, because we do.

- Never go to bed angry. People debate on this one. Some folks think that if you're mad, you should just go to bed and rehash it when you're rested and the emotions aren't so fresh. We, however, are strong believers in not going to bed angry. That doesn't mean we solve everything before bed and that we don't have more to discuss the next day, it just means we get ourselves to a point where we can calm down and discuss things enough that we still want to cuddle up to each other.

- Be each other's best friend. I know, another cliche. But this one is so true. I've heard people say it annoys them when wives claim their husband as their best friend. I have some wonderful girl friends, but to me, Dan is everything a best friend is supposed to be. He listens, solves problems, is my rock, and my shoulder. He knows my secrets, fears, hopes, and dreams. He can tell me when I'm wrong and I can respect that. I trust him above all else, and know he always has my best interest at heart. He's the first one I call/text (we're more texters than callers) when something happens. He's my favorite person to do just about anything with. And I'm all of those things for him. I know that's what a spouse is supposed to be, but to me it's also what a best friend is.

- The last bit of advice is from a person I love very dearly, my late uncle. He passed away three days before my sister's wedding, and I shared this piece of advice in my maid-of-honor speech. He told me that marriage is a journey, and it's a long one. It isn't meant to be perfect. There will be good times and bad times. There will be times when love falters, and that doesn't mean you give up. At times, you may fall out of love, but so long as you never fall out of love at the same time, you'll find each other again. I know, it sounds kind of Debbie Downer for marriage advice, but I think it's a good thing to keep in mind over the life of our marriage. We can't expect that every moment of every day of our life together will be bliss. We've been fortunate that so far things have been wonderful, but knowing that sometimes there will be low points when one of us struggles makes me feel a little more assured that everything will end up okay so long as we never both give up on each other.

Cafeteria Challenge Update: Day 4

2011-07-21T14:34:00.004-07:00

I know I'm only 4 days into it, but I was just doing the math on my little challenge, and I'm amazed. I have only bought one thing from the cafeteria so far this week, and that was a salad today because I misjudged on my meal size last night, didn't have enough for Dan and I both to have lunch, and gave him the leftovers. Seeing as I have a cafeteria with relatively healthy options, and his non-leftover choices are fast food establishments, I'd say that was the best option for all parties involved.

Anyway, on to the numbers so far. I've saved $3.50 a day on sodas by bringing my own. Not to mention, I'm drinking less soda and more water, which is never a bad thing. I figured the average price per meal in the cafeteria is about $5.99, assuming a mix of salad bar days and hot entree days. That's just shy of $18 as of today. I tend to get a breakfast burrito once a week, and also do a weekly trip to Starbucks (makes Mondays better). Eliminating those saved another $9.60. Assuming I keep up the good habits tomorrow, I'll have saved $51.14 by the end of the day. Holy crap!

It's amazing to keep track and watch what's staying in our pockets because of making a solid effort to eliminate the cafeteria from my life. I've started dropping the daily savings into our savings account so I can literally watch my efforts add up, and that only adds to the motivation.

The Cafeteria Challenge

2011-07-18T08:08:00.005-07:00

For the first time in far too long, I connected my checking account to Mint.com and started really looking at where my extra money is going. I was a little shocked at what I was spending on food in the cafeteria at work, especially considering that I buy plenty in groceries each week. My sodas alone were costing me about $3.50 a day (eek!) and I don't need that much soda anyway. It's rare to get out of the cafeteria with an entree for less than $7, unless I have a salad, and even then, salads here are for more expensive than they ought to be. And so, I made a mid-year resolution. My challenge for the next 30 days: no more cafeteria.

First, I went to Costco, and stocked us up on drinks. For 3 days worth of my cafeteria soda habit, I bought a 32 pack that should last me three work weeks, assuming 2 a day: on in the morning, and one with lunch. Comparable cost in the cafeteria: $56. Eek. I also stocked Dan up on Monster Energy drinks and Gatorade G2s. He drinks one Monster a day and 1-2 G2s with electrolytes to keep hydrated in the heat, so that should last him 2 weeks or more, as well. Savings to him: about $38. So if we're diligent and dedicated to drinking only from our little stockpile, we stand to save ourselves about $80 every 2-3 weeks. Scary.

On to the cafeteria food itself. It's convenient, but it comes with a price. It's expensive, first; and secondly, unless I get salad, I don't really know what's in it. And let's be honest, I don't want salad every day. I have some cafeteria favorites, but for the next 30 days at least (oh, panini bar, I love you), I'm challenging myself to eat only lunch that I bring in. The exception: I'm grilling chicken tonight for my own salads and I'll use the cafeteria's salad bar for some of the toppings. For $1.49 I can fill a small cup with egg whites, sunflower seeds, and olives. In comparison, a full salad would probably run me $5. I figured out that I can spend, on average, an extra $8 a week to make a large enough dinner to have lunch leftovers, and therefore save myself $6 a day. It's easy when put in terms like that.

Now of course, this is all stuff I knew. It's not like it's big news that I'll save by bringing in my own lunches compared to buying them. But it's a matter of setting a goal for myself and sticking with it. Amanda over at It's Blogworthy is doing an eat-in challenge - as in NO retsurant food - and, along with the evidence in my Mint.com account, inspired me to challenge myself to something similar. Not to mention, the extra money in my bank account will be nice. My goal is to save an extra $150 a month, and this challenge will go a long way in getting me there.
Wish me luck!

And now, we wait

2011-07-12T07:56:00.005-07:00

Yesterday was our appointment with the infertility specialist. I was anxious all day. I didn't sleep well Sunday night because I had a dream that I overslept and got to work late, then couldn't finish work in time to go to the doctor. So I was wide awake at 3am freaked out about over-sleeping. So yeah, anxious.

Basically, some things were as I expected, and some things were better. I had a feeling that our game plan would include working on Dan's numbers first. The specialist wanted to re-test him right away (like, this week) but we both feel that it doesn't make sense to test again before making improvements. Even if we saw a 10% increase in results, we'd likely have to make improvements anyway, so why pay for 2 tests (I have coverage, but Dan isn't on my plan, so we're out-of-pocket for him)? So we were given a list of vitamins and other supplements for him to try. We're thinking we'll test again in 10 weeks, as that's about how long it takes for sperm cells to mature, and we want to see the full effect of the changes we make. The doctor thinks it's realistic to hope that we could improve the counts enough to make IUI successful, which is exactly what we hoped for.

So basically, we get a break. And we're actually okay with that. It's been fifteen months of thinking about timing and testing and everything. The last month or two have had the added stress of worry about test results and what they mean for us. We agree that taking the next 10 weeks (or longer if we want) to just live life is best for us. Once we get started with whatever treatment plan we go with, things tend to get more stressful and emotional than just "seeing how things go," so we want to be in a good place.

And no, we're not at all thinking that "taking a break" will lead to pregnancy. As of now, if none of the vitamins or supplements or other lifestyle changes make any difference, we have about a 5% chance at spontaneous conception (as in, not in a cycle, but ever), and even with some (say 30%, which may or may not be realistic depending on the cause of the deficiency) improvement, our chances are still far less than the average couple, and we also have my issue to contend with. So please, I know people are hopeful and rooting for us and I appreciate that so much, but please spare us the "see, you stop trying and it'll happen!" We have options, and we'll get to those. For now, we just wait.

Obsessions

2011-07-08T09:07:00.005-07:00

Do you ever have a moment where you're teling someone about something totally obscure and then realize, "holy shit, I'm a nerd?" Well, I've had a few of those moments lately, when I realize that I'm talking about people or things like I actually know them. That or I just realize all of a sudden that I'm spending a lot of time doing or talking about something. And then I realize I've become.... obsessed.

Example A:

Words for Friends. Since getting my new phone last month, I've downloaded some apps. Of course, I got Angry Birds, Fruit Ninja, and Talking Tom (which Mrs. ESPN informed me that her 7-year-old daughter was already over). But one app that I was psyched beyond belief about was Words for Friends. I heard about it on Twitter, and didn't even know what it was, though it should have been obvious. It's Scrabble, y'all. Played in real time with friends (or strangers). So far, I've played some 20 games, and I've lost quite a few. But I'm pretty hooked on it. The downside: I'm pretty sure some of my friends think I'm dumb.

Example 2:

Poz and Infekt. This is our friend/wedding photographer's friends' band. They started out as a metal band with another name, and decided to do a comedic hip hop album as kind of a joke. Joke's on them though, because they got signed with a label for their album "Not Coattails to Ride." You should check them out on iTunes and on the Twitter (@pozandinfekt) because they're hilarious. Honestly, there isn't a bad song on the whole album. Back when Dan and I went to their concert(s) last month, we had the best time. They played a show at an outdoor venue, then got called by a bar to come do a set. We followed them to the bar, and my friend Nicole and I literally danced through the whole gig. THEN... there's more! We all decided to go to In N Out, and the guys put on an impromtu show in the parking lot. Seriously, it was a fun night.

Example orange:

Toddlers and Tiaras. It's no real secret that I love this show, but I found myself explaining the crowning process to a coworker the other day and realized I might have a problem. Yeah yeah, I know. It's "tasteless" and it turns little girls into prostitots in crazy outfits, but that's not even why I love it. I love it for the moms. They are cuh-razy. They cry more than the kids do. I also watch for the melt-downs, because there is nothing more awesome than 4-year-old Mackenzie screaming for her "ni ni." And when the kid I'm rooting for to win Ultimate Grand Centerfold Princess Banana Supreme, I feel happy inside.

Example 4:

Teen Mom 3. I cannot. Can. Not. Tell you how happy it made me to see that the original teen moms (Maci, Amber, Farrah, and Catelynn) were coming back this season. I love them. Trash box Amber, who dates guys she meets at "Wally" and pretty much obligates MTV to give info on domestic violence? Love her. Maci, who dates a guy who really does look slow but does pretty much right by her son? Love her. Farrah, oh dear sweer Farrah, who makes me love a good ugly cry and whose baby is lucky to have no broken a bone yet from being left alone on the couch? Love her. She needs some parenting classes or even just some old fashioned awareness at times, but love her. And Catelynn, who made the tough decision to give her daughter up for adoption and is part of the cutest and most mature teen couple in reality TV? How do you not love her? I just love the show, and I look forward to it every week. And maybe I follow all of them on Twitter...

So yeah, I'm obsessed with a pretty random mix of things right now. But hey, they keep me entertained and off the streets, right? What are you obsessed with lately?

Our fourth 4th

2011-07-05T08:04:00.003-07:00

This 4th of July marked our fourth Independence Day together. We always seem to have good memories on 4th of July. There's always good food, some fireworks, and a relaxing day. It's like a little piece of heaven tucked in the middle of summer, just for us.

Our first may have been my favorite, just because it was the first. We had only been dating about 6 weeks. We went to Rustler's Rooste, a restaurant a couple miles from what would become our apartment, up on a hill overlooking the valley. It didn't dawn on us that all of Phoenix would decide it was the perfect spot, too. We only waited an hour for a table, but I found out later Dan hadn't eaten since breakfast. He was very quiet and now I know why - that's how he gets when he's hungry, and how I can tell we've waited too long. We hadn't been very affectionate to that point. I knew I liked him a lot after my birthday, and it was the first time we'd seen each other since my party at Dave & Buster's. A couple of times, I tried to put an arm around him, and though he didn't brush me away, he didn't reciprocate much either. Lucky for him, I saw something under the shy exterior that I really liked. It would only be a matter of weeks after that 4th of July that he'd come out of his shell and show me he was into me, too.

The next 4th of July, we were engaged. That's crazy to think about. Dan's brother and his girlfriend (now wife) came to town and we spend the whole 4th of July weekend swimming, drinking our favorite beer, and eating delicious food with the guys' friends. We packed up Paisley and stayed at my in-laws' the whole weekend. On the evening of the 4th, we all loaded up into the back of my father-in-law's truck and drove to an empty lot to watch fireworks. Our friends' son was in complete awe of the show and it was so much fun to watch his excitement.

Our third 4th of July was quieter. My brother-in-law didn't make his summer visit that weekend, so it was just me and Dan, the in-laws and some friends. More swimming, more good food, more tasty beverages. It was so hot, to the point where we didn't get out of the pool much and were content to watch the fireworks from the water.

Yesterday wasn't too much different from last year, except it was just us most of the day. We slept in and took our time removing ourselves from the couch. We went to lunch at a favorite restaurant, then came home and fell asleep on the couch, with the pups curled around us. After debating what to do for an hour or so, we loaded up the pups, packed our swimsuits, and headed over to the in-law's for steaks, Yahtzee, and swimming. The brilliant state of Arizona decided to legalize the sale of non-projectile fireworks, so we were treated to the sounds of neighbors trying to set their yards on fire for a good 2 hours before the actual fireworks started. We got home just in time to put on PJs and settle into bed. Our laziest 4th of July yet, but also one of the most content. It was wonderful to spend the day with my husband and top it off with the usual 4th of July goodness.

How was your 4th of July?

The bigger piece

2011-06-30T07:44:00.005-07:00

After waiting a week that felt like a heck of a lot longer, we got Dan's test results yesterday. They weren't good. Like, really not good. Without going into specific numbers, if the issues can't be corrected through changes in diet, supplements, and vitamins, we'd be looking at IVF as our only option, along with a special procedure to manually fertilize the egg first. And the chances are even more slim than for a regular IVF. And I'm not being all worst case scenario dramatic. These are researchable (read: google-able) facts that also appear right on the test results. Until we see the specialist, I don't know what we're looking at if we're able to correct the problems.

I'm equal parts hopeful for resolution through the RE and the help of a urologist, devastated, and numb. I have so many thoughts in my head. Part of me refuses to let the gravity of it set in before we see the specialist and know for sure what the options are. The other part of me is in panic mode. Mostly, I don't want to freak Dan out. I know how I felt that our troubles were all my fault when I got my results, and I don't want him to feel that way. I married him for him, and we'll take life as it comes. Together. But we're facing a very real possibility that there may not be biological children for us. I had hoped that my issues were all we'd be facing, but it turns out that there's a bigger piece to this puzzle.

Dirty

2011-06-28T09:29:00.002-07:00

Well, this is it. The Dirty Thirty. I've arrived. It's kinda fabulous. I woke up feeling a little extra cougar-y today, considering that for the next 4 months, I can say my husband is 26. Rowr.

My weekend was awesome. Better than I could have even asked for. The party Mrs. ESPN threw for me was so much fun. We had absolutely delicious food, tasty drinks (many tasty drinks) and great friends. I was even surprised by my cousins and aunt who drove up from Tucson. I got some awesome gifts - I get to shop at Target, Pier 1, and Kohl's. Oh, and Starbucks. How can I not love that? My mom framed the front page of the Tucson paper from the day I was born. Leave it Mom to give me the gift that makes me teary. My girls from The Bump sent me a unicorn pillow pet, which was just awesome.

All around, it was a great day of celebrating. I feel so blessed to have such a great friend in Mrs. ESPN, and I felt humbled that so many people came to celebrate with me or send me messages. My Facebook wall got blown.up, people. I have some truly amazing people in my life.

Today, I'm heading out to spend some gift cards, doing some laundry (it's gotta get done) and working on the arrangement for my gallery wall. I spent a gift card yesterday picking up some frames, and my gift from my mom gave me the kick in the pants I needed to get to work on displaying our memories. I'm not sure how it'll turn out, but it'll be a fun project. Tonight, I think we're going to dinner, or possibly cooking together. I'm not sure if Dan has decided. No matter what though, it'll be perfect, I know that much.

Good-bye, 20's. It's been real

2011-06-24T07:57:00.006-07:00

This weekend is my last as a 20-something. That's kind of hard for me to believe. Looking back at what I remember from being a 20-year-old, I'm amazed at all that's changed. There have been amazing times and not so amazing times, I've endured and I've triumphed. I've gained some amazing friends, while other friendships have fallen to the wayside. I've loved and I've lost. It's amazing to think back on what I've accomplished in 10 years:

I made the decision to leave Northern Arizona University and my pre-optometry major (what, you didn't think I've always dreamed of being a tax analyst, did you?)

I was a psychology major for one semester at The University of Arizona before taking an accounting class, which led to my third and final major choice

While in college, I worked as many as three jobs at once, including a propeller hat-wearing kiddie photographer, a paint-your-own-pottery store assistant manager, an American Eagle clothing seller, and a waitress.

The summer before my final year of school, my parents helped me buy a condo, hence the many jobs, and I have been on my own ever since.

I joined the International Fraternity of Delta Sigma Pi, and served as VP of Pledge Education my last semester while finishing school and working full time

I graduated with a BSBA in Accounting from the University of Arizona

I moved to Phoenix and started my first job, where I met Mrs. ESPN and got to travel the Western US

During my time at my traveling job, I went to Denver, Boise, LA, Seattle, San Francsico, and Nashville.

I went on three road trips: from San Diego to Napa on the PCH, Tucson to Rochester NY, and Tucson to Seattle

I traveled to Denver to visit a friend and former coworker and went to the Mile High Music Festival, where we saw Tom Petty, O.A.R., Jason Mraz, Flobots, Flogging Molly, and John Mayer. I actually missed the headliner, Dave Matthews, to fly back home.

I've been through 4 cars: a Toyota Tercel, a Nissan Pathfinder, a Nissan Altima, and my current Nissan Murano

I lived in 6 apartments in 5 years, which means my dad also accomplished a lot of heavy lifting

I adopted Paisley, and learned what it was like to have to truly take care of another living being

I discovered a love for baking and decorating, and have since made 2 wedding cakes and countless dozens of cookies and cupcakes.

I met and married my amazing husband and "I" became "we"

We adopted Clover

I earned my graduate degree in Taxation through the online program at The University of Tulsa and celebrated with a staycation at a resort.

We bought our first home and began trying to start our family

And that's just the stuff I can think of off hand. It's amazing the changes a decade brings. I'm excited for the weekend, and saying good-bye to my 20's. Mrs. ESPN is graciously hosting a party for me at her house, and I'm excited to see friends and family, hang out with everyone, and have some beverages and delicious food.

It's been great, 20's. Thank you to my awesome friends and family for making this past decade amazing. Here's to 30!

Never had a chance

2011-06-09T20:36:00.005-07:00

I'm not even in a state to sugar coat this, so here it goes. I got some bad test results today. I found out that I'm highly deficient (as in 20% of the optimal unmedicated level) in the hormone that's responsible for supporting early pregnancy. Symptoms I've experienced support the results. Basically, even if we'd managed to achieve conception, my body was not going to support the embryo to result in a successful pregnancy.

Today was rough. I got a message from the doctor's office that my results came back "normal." However, upon actually receiving the results, my heart sank. I knew what the "goal" number was, and I was waaaay below. I called back to leave a message that I disagreed with the "normal" assessment, only to be told that my doctor signed off on it and reiterated her opinion that my levels were fine. Um. No. Not acceptable, and I knew I didn't agree with her analysis. Upon walking in the door at home and seeing my sweet husband, I burst into tears and let open the flood gates I'd been holding in all day.

This is a fixable issue, I should say that I'm thankful for that. I am. But there is still mourning. I mourn the carefree thinking that we would just easily have a baby. I mourn the element of surprise for me, for Dan, for our parents. I mourn for the thought that there may have been babies that never had a chance. That's the worst. That's what causes the big fat tears in the steaming hot shower. I know we had to go through the last year of trying to be able to get here to get this information, but it feels like a year wasted. A year of chances that never were.

So what's the next step? We have more testing to do, for both of us. At my appointment with the specialist in July, I'll likely be given supplements of the deficient hormone, and possibly other fertility drugs to correct the issue. Like I said, this is fixable. I know it could be far worse. I'm hoping this is the only issue, though I know that the remaining tests could raise other issues. But we'll deal with them. I debated whether to wish for no issues or for something we could point a finger at. Well, we got something to point a finger at. Now we have to resolve it. Hopefully, I respond well to the supplements and we get that chance we need. In the meantime, it's just me and him.

Meal Plan Monday: 6/6

2011-06-06T21:02:00.002-07:00

Here's what we're having this week. So new stuff, some oldies-but-goodies. Hopefully, they'll all be ~~crowd~~ Dan pleasers.

Monday: Brats and sweet potatoes. Yummmmy! I could have sweet potatoes every day if I let me.

Tuesday: Meatloaf and broccoli

Wednesday: Chicken piccata and asparagus

Thursday: Turkey stuffed peppers

Friday: Shredded BBQ chicken sandwiches

We didn't eat out once this weekend, and I'm actually challenging myself to do it again. By loading some bigger meals toward the end of the week, we should have a variety of leftovers through the weekend.

My Big Fat Favorite Trainwreck

2011-06-06T08:58:00.006-07:00

I have a new love in terms of reality television. At least until the start of the new season of Toddlers and Tiaras, that is. Have any of you see My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding? You need to, pronto, because it is possibly the most giddily ridiculous thing I've ever seen. Even more ridiculous than my my favorite episode of Outrageous Kid Parties and Lady Gaga's meat dress combined. For reals.

Now, unfortunately, I didn't take notes, so this won't be like a true recap, but I'm going to give you the run-down and the basics of what's been shown so far. MBFGW is a UK show highlighting the awesomeness of Romani gypsies and Irish Travellers. The basics: they're devout Catholics, which surprised the bajeezus out of me, considering their reputation for shenanigans and some other things I'll get to. But basically, the big moments in their lives are Chistenings, First Communions, and weddings. I mean, they go alllll out for this stuff. Second: it's a man's world. The women are expected to be housewives and travel at the whim of their husbands. Third: they really are fairly nomadic, yet they sometimes settle for years. However, even when settled, their homes are mobile. And get this: they don't believe in having toilet facilities in their homes. So they live in pottiless trailers. Lastly: because of their religious convictions, they don't believe in pre-marital boot-knocking, and they tend to marry young. Young as in, one girl was 20 and was "relatively old" to be getting married.

So how are these gypsies any more interesting than your average semi-homeless God fearing people? I present you with photographic evidence.

This first wedding dress actually has LED lights and motorized butterflies in it and weighed about 70 pounds. The dress maker was so worried about it catching on fire that she carried around a fire extinguisher for good measure. Thankfully it wasn't needed.

These next two one make a Pnina Tornai dress look semi tame. And this wasn't the half of it. In one episode, the bridesmaids literally walked down the aisle in what appeared to be costumes from an adult store, complete with corsets and thigh-high stockings. Adult women and little girls alike are frequently seen dancing very provocatively in revealing clothes, a term which I'm using very loosely. Which is ironic, since everything is skin-tight, cropped and see-through. And this attire isn't seen only at the events - it's all the time. The little girls told the camera in one episode that they learned their moves from hip hop on the telly. Awesome. It's basically like Toddlers and Tiaras on crack.

And speaking of kiddos, here's a First Communion Gown. The poor kid couldn't even walk in it.

I'm totally baffled by the contradiction between good wholesome values on paper and the reality of a society of hooker impersonators drowning in taffeta. Each episode is more ridiculous and over-the-top than the last. Seventy pound gowns, snow owl ring bearers, party buses, Cinderella carriages. Parties that last three days. It's all just... insane. And I, of course, am totally in reality TV trainwreck heaven.

Meal Plan Monday: 5/30

2011-05-31T12:06:00.003-07:00

Ah, Memorial Day weekend is over. Holy moly was I ever lazy. We saw friends Saturday night, and my mother-in-law on Sunday evening for dinner, but that's about it. Dan did have to work yesterday, but he was home at 3, just in time to find me freshly showered after a long day of watching TLC and snuggling puggles. Rough life. I almost feel like I wasted it. But no fear, I have a 4 day weekend coming up in just under 4 weeks as my 30th birthday gift to myself. I've got big (or not) plans for wasting those 2 vacation days I'm tacking on to Birthday Weekend (yes, capitals).

So anyway, let's figure out what my lazy butt if cooking this week.

Tuesday: Breakfast for dinner! I think we'll go with french toast, bacon, and eggs. Dan's going to be shocked about this one because I never want breakfast for dinner, but it sounds delicious

Wednesday: Burgers and sweet potato fries

Thursday: Turkey taco salad

Friday: Grilled chicken and broccoli

We tend to go out Friday night, but I'm really making an effort to save our night out for Saturday when we're not tired from the work week and can enjoy it. Even though not cooking Friday night after the week is over is a nice break, I feel like sometimes we're just zombies having a staring contest (or maybe it's just me), and I want us to enjoy our date nights. I'm going to make sure to pick up salad and sandwich fixin's for the rest of the weekend, so I'll make us some extra chicken Friday night to get us through. Then our one meal out will really feel like something special. New perspectives, I've got 'em.

Well, that's a relief!

2011-05-26T13:57:00.004-07:00

I had my first appointment yesterday with my new OB/gyn. I was pretty anxious about it all day. On the one hand, I was almost relieved for the day to arrive when I might start getting some answers. On the other hand, I've been braced for bad news. I had talked to girls who've been through this type of appointment and knew that what was likely to happen was a short physical exam (similar to an annual well-woman exam) and quite a few questions about my cycles. I was worried about what she might say about my blood pressure and my weight, but I know they're both things I need to work on, so it's not like it would be a shock to hear they need improvement. I was also worried that she wouldn't be keen or knowledgeable on charting temperatures to confirm ovulation. In talking to some girls who've gone to their OB/gyns about concerns, the doctors weren't receptive to charting and found it a waste of time.

To my wonderful surprise, my doctor was awesome! She was very impressed with my charting and my knowledge of my cycles. She said we were doing everything right, which is always nice to hear. She did a short exam and didn't come up with anything that was a concern. Even my blood pressure gave a fabulous reading. She suggested the exact tests I had in mind: blood work on hormone levels and an HSG for me, and a sperm analysis for Dan. These are pretty standard tests that rule out funky hormones, issues with my anatomy, and poor numbers/motility etc. for Dan's swimmers. My tests have to be done on certain days of my cycle, so I'll have to wait a few weeks to get started, but we have a plan.

If everything comes out normal, luck just hasn't been on our side. We can try a couple meds to give us better chances for conception, but it won't really explain why we haven't yet been successful. Even though I don't want something to be horribly wrong, I almost feel like it would be easier to wrap my mind around a diagnosis like blocked tubes or a low hormone level. That's something we can fix. I guess we'll just have to wait and see.

Thank you all for your wonderful messages, prayers, thoughts, vibes, and well wishes yesterday and today. It was overwhelming how many people took a moment to let me know they were thinking of me, and that was awesome.

There is one other cute thing to share, and hopefully you don't all think I'm too kooky, but it really was awesome. A group of girls on The Bump's Trouble TTC board had a sock exchange. Why socks? Well, with all this testing and prodding, we're bound to spend time with our feet in stirrups. The idea is that we figured we might as well be awkward in style. So my sock buddy sent me this last week:

Yes, those are cupcake socks, and I wore them to my appointment yesterday. Somehow, knowing they came from someone who's been through this stuff before was a big comfort.

The Biggest Loser's serves up a new host

2011-05-25T07:20:00.008-07:00

As you probably know by now, I'm a self proclaimed reality TV junkie. I watch pretty much anything, except the singing and dancing shows (with the exception of The Voice, which I love, but wouldn't have watched without Dan's stuffing it down my throat). One of my favorites is The Biggest Loser. Oh, how I love that show. I love watching people's lives being transformed in the most profound ways before my very eyes. Sure I get a little cringey when the contestants start weighing less than me, but I still feel overwhelmed with happiness for them on their accomplishments. It's incredible. They literally go from solemn and unhealthy shells to vibrant pictures of life and health.

With all that being sad, I'm completely baffled by the show's producers' choice for the next Biggest Loser trainer. Remember Anna Kournikova?

She looks amazing, right? Professional athlete, strong, svelte, muscular. She looks to be in her prime here. Gorgeous, fit, and healthy looking. Totally conceivable that this girl would be a personal trainer and a role model for Biggest Loser contest. The only problem?

This is Anna now with Biggest Loser host Alison Sweeney. And this picture doesn't even quite capture is as I remember it. She literally looks sickly. I was actually shocked when she stepped out onto the stage on the finale last night to be introduced as the replacement for Jillian Michaels. All jokes about Anna being a professional loser her entire tennis career and therefore a perfect fit aside, there's something wrong with this picture.

I'm not going to get into digging into Anna's physique, because really? Who am I to judge? And also, I know that girls at any size and any weight have self image issues. So I'm not going to pick at her. What I will say is that I'd be seriously concerned for her health. She just doesn't look healthy, and it seems entirely hypocritical to me that someone who is clearly underweight (even with the extra poundage of cameras on her) is going to be guiding others to optimal health. It's just a bad fit for a fitness icon like Biggest Loser. Call me crazy, but I don't think she's the greatest example of a healthy physique for Biggest Loser contestants, and I'm pretty disappointed.

What say you? Do you think Anna is a good fit?

Do you like my new look?

2011-05-24T13:36:00.002-07:00

So you may have noticed that I did a small overhaul on the blog. I wanted something a little more reflective of us and our style with a little less going on. It's just a boring Blogger template, but it'll do for now. Perhaps it'll motivate me to push me in new directions in terms of my posts, too.

The blog header pics were taken by This is Life Photography. I purchased the photo shoot through Groupon last year and we finally used it in March, the weekend after we moved into the new house. The photographer, Marisa, was awesome to work with and we loved our pics. Our deal came with 3 prints and 1 digital file and we ended up buying 8 additional files. If you live in Phoenix, we definitely recommend her.

Tomorrow is my appointment with the doctor to hopefully get some infertility testing started. If you can spare some good wishes or thoughts or vibes or prayers or whatever it is you do, I'd appreciate it.

The First Official Unexpected Expense

2011-05-23T07:27:00.001-07:00

Since moving into our house over two months and a half months ago (how has it been that long?!) we've dropped our fair share of change on the house improving things. There was the bathroom and kitchen repainting, the new appliances, sink and countertops, the dog door, the new lighting fixtures. Dan poured concrete to extend the patio to under the dog door so the dogs would be on a cleaner surface than dirt before stepping inside. He also stained the shabby looking wooden gate to the backyard. I think that's all the major stuff. However, that was all expected. Last night we came upon our first unexpected expense: the garage door opener.

The darn thing has been kind of a pain since we moved. For some reason, at certain times of day, the safety sensors mistake sunlight for a small child (or something, I don't know how these things work) and won't close by itself. We have to sit there and hold down the button the whole time. Pain in the behind. Dan was researching how to move the sensors to eliminate the problem and had gone to Lowe's to get a tool and something else, and when he came back - irony of ironies - the motor on the opener burned out. By the time he figured out what was going on with it, Lowe's had closed and we were SOL for getting a new one. So that's on Dan's agenda for tonight: replace garage door opener.

The rest of our weekend was great. We spent Friday night with Dan's coworker Jake, watching Jackass 3, which - as a lover of all things Johnny Knoxville - was hilarious. I'm officially obsessed with the Roller Buffalo skit. I've played it on my phone probably 10 times since Friday night and downloaded the song as a ring tone. Yeah, obsessed. On Saturday we headed to our friends' house for a BBQ. We'd intended to watch the rapture, but that clearly didn't happen, so it was just a normal BBQ.

Oh, and yesterday I sold out. Call it what you will - sheer curiosity or too many DVR'd episodes of Extreme Couponing, but I went and did some coupon shopping. Seriously, people, deodorant and body wash for $0.67? Sugar-free Snack Packs for $0.77? Not to mention, better prices on quite a few things we use often. I didn't go crazy or anything, but it was definitely worth the time it took to cut coupons out of three papers. I had stocked up on meat in the last couple weeks and didn't have to buy any, so I was able to spend less than half my weekly budget and I won't have to buy deodorant for either of us for about 3 months, or Snack Packs ever again, and our fridge is stocked full of fresh veggies for this week's meals, which brings me to....

:: flashing lights::

Meal Plan Monday!!

This one was actually fun to do. Dan and I went out for dinner last night and planned the week's menu together, which was a nice change from flying solo.

Dan's requests: a lot of veggies

Monday: Spaghetti squash topped with veggies. This one was Dan's idea, and he's cooking it. I'm curious to see how it turns out. Honestly, I'm just thankful I'm married to a man who loves his veggies.

Tuesday: Enchilada casserole with beef. Again, Dan's apparently cooking this one

Wednesday: BBQ chicken and corn. Dan had a marathon of Best in Smoke on TV as he was doing stuff around the house yesterday and it got us both craving BBQ

Thursday: Bangers and mash. Only we're using turkey kielbasa and we're going to try a cauliflower "fauxtato" recipe I found. Hopefully it works out.

Hope you have a great week!

Gimme gimme! Update - my life in crappy Blackberry photos

2011-05-17T08:19:00.000-07:00

Remember this fun little post about some things I was pining for? Well, some of my dreams have come true. I ordered my letters from Letter Chef on Etsy just before I wrote that post. What I didn't tell you was that the seller was awesome to work with. I wanted them on a pretty big wall, so 4x6 prints weren't going to cut it. She sent me a list of all the prints I could choose from to get the 8x10 and 11x14 prints I wanted. I had about 12-14 options for each letter. I showed them to Mrs. ESPN, Salt and my friend, Natalie, to help me choose. I got them in about a week, which is awesome, considering their custom size, and framed them right away.

But I didn't like something about the white on white on white. I had tried to pick prints that were dark around the edges because I knew the frames I wanted were white with white mats. But something just didn't look right. I wanted the mats to be purple to coordinate with my candles and bath mat. So on Mother's Day, my mom and I went to Joann Fabrics to search for a solution. We considered buying/custom ordering new mats, spray painting, and even covering the mats in scrapbook paper. Ultimately, we decided to try the spray paint. We figured that the worst that would happen is that we'd get too much moisture on the mat and it would ripple and we'd have to buy a new one. Spray paint was the easiest and least time consuming solution to start with. And this is our end result:

I love how they came out, and it was a fun project to do with my mom.

Next up, I mentioned my friend Jennifer's cards in my Gimme, gimme! post. It wasn't entirely a surprise because she asked for my address, but I was stunned to find these beauties in my mailbox when I got home yesterday.

Aren't they amazing? I wish you could see the details - there are hat pins, glitter, embossing, buttons, cute bows, and tiny Bingo cards. Five gorgeous, hand-made, and one-of-a-kind thank you notes. I love them all, and I can't wait to order some cards for upcoming birthdays from her. Again, if you'd like to contact Jennifer, her email is vogtdesignco@gmail.com. I think you'll be amazed at seeing her work in person

So there are just a couple of my little desires satisfied. Now all I'm waiting on are my chairs.

Meal Plan Monday: April 16

2011-05-16T15:51:00.000-07:00

First, I'm so excited to announce that my wonderful friend, penpal, and bridesmaid, Kari and her husband are expecting a baby GIRL!! Kari called me after the sonogram to tell me and I'm just so happy for them. They were both hoping for a girl (with healthy being the number one thing of importance, of course), and I'm glad they got their wish. So that was the fabulous news of the day. On to meal planning.

Monday: Dan's childhood favorite, hot dogs and mac and cheese. Only we're going to add some veggies on the side so we can fill up on some good stuff. Mondays are a great day for a little bit of comfort food.

Tuesday: pasta with meat sauce, or maybe meat balls, because last week's turned out so tasty

Wednesday: chicken enchiladas with a side of black beans

Thursday: steak salad. I'm trying to recreate our favorite from Native New Yorker: sirloin, fresh romaine, onion, a little bleu cheese, yummy yum yum!

Friday: Date night

Saturday and Sunday: We should have enough left overs from the pasta and enchiladas to at least have lunches at home. I'm trying to make stuff stretch into the weekend to be both mindful of our budget and have homecooked food over restaurant mystery ingredients.

What are y'all having this week?

I hope I'm not jinxing myself

2011-05-12T07:52:00.000-07:00

This past weekend, for Mother's Day, my parents were visiting with their dog, Emmy, and we decided to try something new. While we ran out to run some errands, we left Clover, Paisley, and Emmy free in the house with access to the dog door. We'd been curious how they would do with no one around. When we got home, as far as we could tell, they'd done just fine. Nothing was destroyed, no messes on the floor, no evidence at all that they'd been left to their own devices.

On Monday, Dan texted me in the early morning to see what I thought about leaving our girls in the house instead of crating them. I figured it couldn't hurt to try. Clover's been doing great with the dog door, and my only real concern was her deciding one of the couch cushions looked tasty or barking incessantly at the neighbors without me there to stop her. I figured I'd come home to sticks and bean pods from the yard all over my living room carpet, but that happens almost daily anyway. So we tried it. I was amazed to come home to a clean carpet and two happy pups, still warm from their sunbathing. So we tried it again Tuesday, and got the same result. I was happy that we could give the girls more freedom and not have the guilt of crating them all day.

And then I came home yesterday. Paisley greeted me right away, but Clover was nowhere in sight. I went to the yard to see what she was up to, and called for her. Nothing. I thought maybe she was being stubborn - she tends to hide when called because she still thinks that "come here, Clo" means "get in your crate and get locked away for hours." And then I heard whining. And scratching at the bedroom door. Uh oh. We know how this ended up last time. Ugh. All I could picture was my comforter in shreds and Clover accidents everywhere. So I took a breath and opened the bedroom door, and... nothing! I searched everywhere for evidence of an accident. There was nothing. No wet spots - trust me, our carpet is so plush that her wet messes sit on top without soaking in. I'd see them very easily, and there were none. My comforter and pillows were intact. Clothes within reach of a bored puppy all had their buttons. You seriously couldn't tell she's been in there alone for 8 hours. Well, except for the fact that she made a mad dash to the yard to go potty and then drank a whole bowl of water (poor puppy didn't have any in the room since the bowl had been moved from the crate to the kitchen). Dan later found a ripped up package of iron-on hem under the bed, but if that's the worst of it, I'll take it. As it turns out, Dan had seen Clover in the yard when he was getting ready and thought she was outside, but when he gathered up his keys and lunch box, she'd apparently gone to hide under the bed to avoid crating and was accidentally left in the bedroom.

So I don't want to jinx myself, but I'm cautiously excited that we may have fiiiiinally achieved house-breaking with Clover. Yes!

It's the return (once again)...

2011-05-09T15:25:00.000-07:00

of Meal Plan Monday. So we've been in the house a good 8 weeks now, and we've more or less settled in to our routine. We're both generally home (even after running errands) by 5 or 5:30 at the latest, then we work together to make dinner. Lately, Dan grills, while I prep something like veggies inside. But Dan's getting tired of Italian burgers (as freaking delicious as they are), so it's time to get the creative juices flowing again. As the weather heats up, the goal is to use the oven as little as possible, and I'm also in favor of working the Crock Pot into action at least once a week. So here's the plan this week.

Meal Plan: Week of May 9th

Dan's requests: pasta and chicken. You got it, Buddy.

Monday: Pasta - Italian sausage, whole wheat penne, and veggies

Tuesday: Shish-ke-bobs - chicken, mushrooms, peppers, pineapple. Yum!

Wednesday: Meatball subs. We don't do sandwiches much, but for some reason this one sounds good. I think I'll attempt roasted sweet potato fries to go along with the subs. They're our latest addiction.

Thursday: Mushroom Crock Pot chicken and broccoli. I'll do some extra to give us some easy left overs for the weekend.

Friday is still our date night, which means we generally head out for dinner to wash the work week away

What are you serving up this week? Care to share your favorite summer dinner ideas?

Coming clean

2011-04-27T09:51:00.000-07:00

I've been quiet lately. Here mostly, but also somewhat in real life. It's not that nothing has happened. On the contrary, my sister got married, we finally got our dog door, and my in-laws decided unannounced visits are fun (they're not). But I have something bigger on my mind, and when that happens, I am often unable to let other thoughts out because I feel like the other thoughts are tainted with the big thought. And I think if I can get the big thought out and off my chest, I can get back to the other thoughts. So bear with me.

I've mentioned before that Dan and I want to start our family. I've also vented my frustrations with comments and misconceptions. But what's bigger than the fact that we're trying to conceive is when that journey began. We recently hit our year mark. On April 12th, to be exact. On that day, after trying for a year and being under the age of 35, I - or rather we - joined a new rank. On that day, my chances of conceiving in any perfectly timed cycle dropped from 20% to only 13%. On that day, I became eligible to begin testing for infertility. I held out hope, having witnessed the unexpected joy of Cycle 12 pregnancies, but a mere week later, I learned for the 11th time in a row that I was not pregnant.

April 12, 2011 loomed over my head for a few weeks. It's been a difficult thing to face. I've had some bad days over it. My mentality has changed a lot since last year. I started out pretty happy-go-lucky, figuring Dan and I would be parents in no time. I bought Taking Charge of Your Fertility and read it from cover to cover. Armed with my thermometer to chart and track my cycles, I was excited not only to be a mom but to learn about my body, something I'd actually been afraid of since hitting puberty. I was liberated, for lack of a better word.

Cycle after cycle went on. At first, I got anxious about it not working. Then I realized, especially after my high blood pressure reading, that I had to chill, both for me and for my hope for a baby. I don't necessarily believe that my baby-wanting caused high blood pressure, given family health history, but it certainly wouldn't help. I relaxed on the charting and temping, and focused more on just trying to have decent timing and rolling with the punches. Almost thankfully, we also avoided pregnancies for 2 cycles in the year - once so I wouldn't be due around my sister's wedding, and again for my friend Rachel's wedding, both for which I was/am the maid of honor. Those avoiding cycles also contributed to calming my nerves. They gave us both a break and renewed our spirits.

Now I know what you might be thinking. I didn't have a full year of TTC. True. But we had 10 cycles with good timing. That's more than some ladies get. Statistically, we should have gotten lucky in 10 cycles. By the numbers, 50% of couples conceive in 6 months, and 80% in a year. So we're somewhere in the 75% figure with 10 cycles. We've gone from "this is taking time" to "we may need help."

And so, I made an appointment for the end of May. I wasn't going to. Not for a little while, maybe not until July. But that last cycle with no results hit me harder than anticipated. I'm wasting time if I don't. If something is wrong, waiting until July just wastes more time. I'm not gonna lie. I'm scared. I'm worried something is wrong, but it's worth it to me - and to Dan, who's so so supportive, I can't tell you how lucky I am - to find out what, if anything, we're dealing with. Maybe we just haven't gotten lucky yet. I'm willing to deal with that. But if something is not right and we can fix it, I want to.

It's hard to say we might have an issue with infertility. Even until now, I kept saying "maybe we just haven't gotten lucky yet." But infertility is defined as failure to conceive within 12 months with careful timing. I qualify, no matter how you dice it. It isn't a label I want to pick up. This isn't about wanting sympathy or attention. This is National Infertility Awareness Week, and in my circle of blog and Twitter and Facebook and Bump friends, there are posts loaded with encouragement and information everywhere. I'm the newbie to all this. There are ladies who've been poked and prodded and injected for years in their pursuit to have a baby. I don't want to go through that, but I may have to. Only time and testing will tell. And in the spirit of getting the word out, and bringing to light the fact that infertility can affect any couple, I'm coming clean.

I also just want to take a moment to thank the very supportive people in my life. There are some of you who've offered advice and knowledge, and I can't thank you enough. There are others who've lent ears and shoulders, and I appreciate that so much, too. I count my lucky stars for the incredible people I have in my life.

My little sister got married!

2011-04-18T09:49:00.000-07:00

This past weekend was my beautiful sister's wedding day. She looked absolutely gorgeous, and we celebrated with a beautifully planned party. I'm so happy for her and my new brother-in-law, Daniel.

Check out the happy couple (sorry for the Blackberry photos, it's how I roll) taking it all in at the reception.

I wish you could see her whole dress - it's absolutely stunning.

And my labor of love: their cupcake display and cutting cake. Megan and Daniel chose red velvet, chocolate peanut butter, lemon, Oreo, and maple bacon for the flavors, and they were all a hit. My dad and Dan ended up setting up the display and they did a great job making sure it looked just right. Congrats, Megan and Daniel! Wishing you a lifetime of sweet moments!

Why I'm content spending $2.35 on toothpaste

2011-04-07T08:34:00.000-07:00

Ugh, sorry for the wall of text. Blogger hates me today and doesn't give a darn about the spacing I've tried to insert. Last night was the series premier of a new reality TV show, Extreme Couponing (cue Dan leaving the house). I've actually been looking forward to this one. Who wouldn't, when the previews included sound clips such as "that's basically 99% savings." I mean, who doesn't want to save money? There were two episodes on last night, and while I'm not going to recap them, I'll bless you all with my thoughts and some highlights. All of the 4 women whose stories were featured in the two episodes have large areas of their home dedicated to food and product storage. There were blurbs all over Twitter and Facebook about how Extreme Couponing should have been named Hoarders: The Beginning. A couple of the ladies had either a huge basement or pantry for all their goods. But two families had to stock their stashes all over the house. In one, the mother of 7 children (whom she referred to as her litter) had some 1,400 rolls of toilet paper under her 2-year-old's bed, and "he doesn't even know!" Soup was stashed in the kids' playroom. Another mom of six had 75 boxes of cereal in her master bedroom closet, which she called her favorite room in the house. She even said her stock pile was almost as beautiful as her family. Bascially, all these people had amassed enough stuff to keep their families alive in the event of the zombie apocalypse, or for 3 years, whichever comes first. And how can they afford all this, because we know 75 boxes of cereal alone is worth more than many household food budgets? Well, couponing of course. Some of the ladies are able to be stay-at-home moms thanks to their efforts, but couponing is a full time job. They get anywhere from 3 to 12 Sunday papers a week to collect coupons. Then they make massive grocery shopping trips. Everything is organized down to the penny. In many stores, there are policies that necessitate multiple check-outs. One woman had to split her load into eighteen separate transactions to maximize her coupon potential. One couple bought all the same products but checked out separately to double the savings because the store's policy only allowed the doubling of one coupon. For the same reason, another couple had to call 5 friends to come to the store to stand in so they could beat the store's policy. I mean, this is serious effort and planning. All that planning pays off, though. The women featured saved anywhere from 91 to 99% on their groceries. Some were even paid to take stuff out of the store when coupons resulted in a negative balance on some items. They got free toilet paper, vitamins, cereal, and paper towels. Granted, it took some of them two hours just to check out, but it is definitely well worth it when you can say you walked out of the grocery store with $1,900 (OMG) worth of stuff for $103. Yeah, jaw dropping. Now, my issues. First, there's one thing they don't tell you or show you on this show, and it's something I know because I work with some serious couponers. Most of these ladies probably pay a service to keep track of what coupons are resulting in big savings. The taping showed them picking up their papers, circling deals, clipping coupons, and la-de-da-ing off to the store. Not so much. Coupons and deals at the store generally don't coincide. So there are services (or you could do it yourself if you are insane) that keep track of which coupons were issued and when and instruct you on how to organize them. You may have to hold onto them for a month before you can get your best benefit out of them. Some of them will expire. I know people who keep from 2,000 to 3,500 coupons on hand. Then, when the weekly circulars come out, the service alerts you to deals and points you in the direction of the stash where the helpful coupon should be for you to use. It's not as cut and dry as "clip and shop." It takes serious effort and organization, which I don't have. Also, as I mentioned, these ladies are using multiple transactions. I mean, they had spreadsheets of the order that things had to be rung up in order to not miss any savings opportunities. One extra can of corn in a transaction and they'd ::gasp:: pay full price. There's no way in hell I'm going to sort out exactly how to split up orders into 7 or 13 or 18 chunks. I'm just not. I'd personally be embarrassed to ask a cashier to go through all this song and dance. Second, I get that spending less than $10 on a year's supply of stuff for a whole household must be exhilarating, but what are you going to do with it all? I'm not spending my life living among groceries and convincing my kids that cans of soup are appropriate playroom decor. "Hey mom and dad, just pull up a seat on our paper towel chair! They were free!" No. Just, no. Granted, I realize I wouldn't have to hoard as much stuff. But at this point in my life, I just don't find it necessary to have 120,000 sheets of toilet paper on hand at all times. Also, I'm not judging what people feed their families, and I'm the first to admit we eat junk sometimes. But from what I've seen in what they're buying, it's a LOT of processed foods. Boxed cereal, while delicious, isn't what I'd consider the most healthy thing. And they're not buying Kaashi. They're buying Pops and Trix. Sugary stuff. There's also a ton of crackers, sodium-laden soups, hot dogs, etc. I didn't see any fresh produce in any of the carts. I try my hardest to avoid purchases of processed foods. Most of what goes in my cart is fresh meat, veggies, and dairy. I buy Dan crackers here and there, and I keep soup on hand for Crock Pot chicken, but most of what I buy has to be baked, grilled, broiled, roasted, or steamed from it's raw state. Like I said, I'm not saying we always eat the best food, but I don't see the point in saving 95% on processed foods when I try so very hard to make us the freshest meals possible. And I know this could change when we have kids, too. I understand the value in convenient food. Just for now, couponing to fill my shelves with boxes and cans isn't my style. It's definitely all fascinating though. There's a part of me that's jealous of the fact that what they spend on a year's worth of groceries is what I spend on a week's supply of Chobani yogurt (I may be exaggerating). But there's a trade-off, as there is with any choice in life. I'll keep my sanity and pay full price for toothpaste for now. What say you? Did you watch the show? Do you engage in extreme couponing? Non-extreme? Are you content like me to just pay what things cost? How do you save?

Gimme gimme!

2011-03-25T13:20:00.000-07:00

Since buying our house, I've obviously been thinking a lot about how to decorate and such. Not to mention, my 30th birthday is in 3 months and 3 days, so I've been on the prowl for ideas for Dan. Some of the things that I've found and love are things worth sharing with you all, so that you may enjoy the prettiness, too.

First off, I'm in need of some furniture. The way our living room space is set up lends itself perfectly to add a couple of cute and comfy chairs near the bay window. I found this that I love at Target.

Super cute, right? Well, I was reading the reviews, and 2 people said that the brown on the upholstery is so dark that it looks black. Black just doesn't work with the tones in our living room, so I went back to looking and found this beauty:

Love it! Two of these puppies would fill the bay window area perfectly, and make a nice seating area that melds nicely into the area with the couch as well as providing a cozy spot by the fireplace. I instantly emailed the link to Dan and pretty much haven't shut up about them since. I'll break him one way or another. I might just have to send him another email from the chairs themselves. Subject line: "hey, don't forget about us!"

Next, I went Etsy shopping for some cool art. I want to eventually do a gallery wall in our hallway, and currently the only things we really have in frames are pictures from our wedding. We'll soon have pics from our recent photo session, but I like the look of mixing in some non-personal items as well, to make it feel like less of a shrine. So I bought these from Etsy seller Letter Chef.

Now, I have to be honest. My intent was to find stuff for the gallery wall, but I got a tad sidetracked. You see, I love monograms. I think I may have been born in the wrong part of the country, because there are some "southern" things that I just die for, like monograms and giant bows on baby noggins. Dan, on the other hand, doesn't hate monograms, but they're not his favorite either. If I had my way, we'd have BKD and K's everywhere (though you have to be careful about putting too many K's too close together). No so much for Dan. So since it's apparently been decided that the master bath is mine, I get to decorate how I want, and a giant monogram it is. They'll be framed separately in white (I think) frames and go on my bathroom wall opposite the giant mirror. Best part, they're pretty much out of sight, out of mind for Dan. These babies are mine, all mine.

Lastly, I was looking at Facebook, and one of my fellow Knotties has been posting pictures of her handmade cards. Now, if I tried to make handmade cards, things would be messy. But Jennifer's cards are gorgeous, and I just love her sixth sense for detail and choice of materials. They make card giving really feel special. Check out her blog posts about them. I just love the bicycle and bunting card. Too cute. Jennifer doesn't currently have an Etsy shop, but if you're lusting after these as much as I am, you can contact her at vogtdesignco@gmail.com

So, those are the things I'm loving so much lately.: cute square slipper chairs, alphabet photography monograms, and some super sweet cards. What are you wanting all for yourself?

My new kitchen!

2011-03-21T08:46:00.000-07:00

This was one of the fastest and busiest weekends in a long time. Right away when Dan got home, he got to work cutting the last of the tile pieces for the counter top. Saturday morning, we were up early to do the grout and install the appliances. Dan worked on it until about 4pm when my in-law's and his aunts arrived for dinner (along with my mom, yay!). And just as soon as the dishwasher was up and running, the ladies swooped in to put away all the stuff that had been waiting to for the kitchen to be finished to find its home. In all honesty, I wanted to be the one to put my kitchen away. I'm generally not a fan of people cleaning or arranging for me, but they didn't leave me much choice. It mostly got put away, and in record time.

So, as a refresher, here was the kitchen before:

And here is the kitchen now:

We intend to put in a back splash of small glass tiles all the way to the cabinets, so I didn't bother to paint the rest of it red, though I probably should have. Hindsight is always 20/20, ya know. I'll need to at least paint around the window. Maybe that will be my project this weekend. Of course now, I'm terrified of getting paint on the granite.

We spent Saturday evening with family, grilling (on Dan's grill for the first time in 2 years!) and hanging out on the patio. Yesterday, we cashed in our Groupon deal that I bought back in July for a 1 hour photo session. We met with the photographer in downtown Phoenix and had a lot of fun taking photos in the industrial areas and on the train tracks. I can't wait to see our proofs in about two weeks.

So that's about it for the weekend. It was a lot of work, with no rest for the the weary. I can't believe it's Monday again already. The only really awesome thing is that we should see the result of our awesome prank when my coworker tries to clip his nails sometime in the next couple of days. Unfortunately, Mrs. ESPN is leaving for a work trip today and I might have to witness it all alone. I just hope I can keep a straight face.

This party is a circus, literally

2011-03-15T07:26:00.000-07:00

Step right up! Step right up, folks!! Witness this incredibly freak of nature, the amazing spoiled 6-year-old with a circus party! Oh, and her brother. There's a brother. This week's episode of Outrageous Kid Parties features the joint birthday party of almost-7 year-old Jasmine and her brother, Carson, who will be 9. Jasmine says "I'm spoiled" quite a bit, so this is sure to be good. Mom looks familiar though. I can't tell if it's because I saw the preview or if I've actually seen her somewhere. And then, they show Mom at work. She's a dentist... ::cue dream sequence:: a dentist. Teeth. Flippers. Toddlers and Tiaras!! This lady was on T&T, (one of) my other guilty pleasure(s). She's the crazy lady who cried a lot and kept yelling "Go, Jazzzzyyyy!" while her untalented child - really, because I'm an expert at judging reality show pageants by now - danced around on the stage doing the head bob fish face. My inner reality TV nerd is doing the Kip Dynamite "yesssss!" Okay, so maybe my outer nerd did it too, because Dan left the ~~room~~ house.

Anyway, now that my mind is officially blown at the very thought the best possible breeding of reality television shows I could have ever asked the Easter Bunny for, let's hear about the kids. Jasmine likes - shocking - pageants, dancing, and animals. Carson is a shy kid. This sounds familiar. But Mom thinks the party will be good for Carson. I'm having deja vu. Jasmine wants a princess party. Carson doesn't give a rat's behind what kind of party he has so long as there are monkeys. He looks slightly evil when he says this, like I'm not quite sure what exactly he wants from his monkeys. Somehow they decide on a circus party, because Mom always loved the circus. Methinks someone is throwing herself a party "for" her kids.

Ah, the budget talk. Mom wants to spend $30,000 (OMG) and explains that $30K in a small town is like $100K in a big city like New York. Okay, I'll go with you on that one, but the only party that should ever cost $30K in a small town is a huge wedding. We're talking about a party for elementary school kids here. Remember when I had my birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese? Or the skating rink? Man, what a sucker I was. Anyway, the concern with the huge budget is that it's freaking January and there's like 8 feet of snow on the ground. Or it might be 6 inches. I don't know because I live in Arizona and snow is snow to me. A huge budget and bad weather sound like a recipe for disaster. Deliciously entertaining disaster.

Mom and the kids meet up with the party planner, who has an odd name I can't remember. This lady looks completely unamused at the thought of planning a circus in the snow. Ooooh, Cirque de Snow-le. Jasmine wants animals. She wants a camel that spits in people's faces. Evil, I like it. She also wants cows, lizards, kitty cats, and dogs. Clearly, someone hasn't been educated on circus animals. Pshaw. She wants "every animal in the world except some," that "some" being snakes. Next up, costumes. What is it with these parties and costumes? What happened to just showing up and having fun? Now everyone has to look like they're part of a Broadway production to watch some rug rat blow out candles? Mom decides everyone will dress as a circus animal. Sounds great. Costumes: $4K. Reasonable.

Mom is stressed out about the fact that the party is in like a week and nothing is booked. Hello? How do you have a party "planned" in a week and don't even have anything picked or booked? Well, we can't bother with that now. Cake has to be chosen. The ginormous big top tent cake that Mom wants is going to cost $4K. Holy crap. Jasmine says she'll pay. Get a job sweetie. Yesterday. Shockingly, the party planner has now quit on Cirque de Snow-le. Mom cries while Jasmine sits at the table going "this party is mine mine mine mine mine." Mom bursts into tears and doesn't know how she'll ever do a party planner's job. Maybe she should just quit her job.

Oh, snap! Mom shuts down her dental practice for the week to plan her kids' party. How very responsible of her. "No, I'm sorry, Mr. Davis. Dr. Crazypants has shut down for the week and you'll have to live in pain from that broken tooth because no one ordered the clowns." Not to mention, her employees must be thrilled at the loss of income for the week. They'd better at least get invited to the party. I spoke too soon, again. Mom is full of solutions. She hired her dental assistant (who has some of the ugliest teeth I've ever seen) to be her assistant party planner. Faaaantastic.

So we've got the party planner set. Time to work on the circus. Mom gets ahold of some guy at the Cincinnati circus who will bring her an entire show for the great price of only $15K. Note to self: save for circus. She neglects to mention that there's 4 metres (I'm going for international appeal now) of snow on the ground. Now we need some animals. Mom takes the kids to meet Yvonne and Yvette, who appear to be twins. When I say "appear to be" I have to admit it took me a moment to realize that they were matching. I thought they were just your run of the mill look-alike lesbians for a minute. But no. Y&Y have matching faces and hair, and are wearing completely matching outfits: hot pink tops and black fuzzy vests. I wonder if they dress like this all the time, or they got gussied up for the cameras. Neither would surprise me, considering these ladies live in a house with 9 monkeys. This reminds me: "My Monkey Baby" was a great show. It shouldn't have been cancelled.

Lastly, the kids need to arrive at the party in style. What makes more sense than a fire truck? Carson actually looks pretty stoked, until Jazzy reminds him that this fire truck is "mine mine mine mine." She's like the seagulls from Finding Nemo. Only one major problem. Fire trucks aren't exactly equipped for snow, and the truck won't be able to get up their driveway. But Mom pulls through with a solution once again and decides to have the party at the armory. It pretty much looks like a high school gym. It's got good bones, but I see dollar signs if this place is going to look like a circus. Mom, of course, can't quite see the vision and starts crying again about how she'll need help with so much. Best quote of the year comes from Dad: "no one wants to see their wife get upset about things that are - I don't want to say they're not important - they are to her, I guess." This man is a saint.

Finally, party day has arrived. Mom calls all her friends to come help turn the armory gym into a circus tent. Dad has been running errands since 5am and didn't sleep all night. All I see is a room with a bunch of creepy balloon clowns. Jasmine refuses to help. Suddenly, the party that is "mine mine mine mine" is none of her responsibility. I spot a baton twirler and recognize her as Yvette or Yvonne. Seems like Mom's multi-tasking with the hired help. This is going against O.K.P. rules of frivolous money spending. I mentally issue a warning. In comes the camel and Mom dressed as a clown. I'm pretty sure she said earlier that there was no way she was coming dressed like that. And right behind her are 350 guests. 350?! I don't have that many friends on Facebook. All the guests - who aren't dressed up, so where'd the costumes go? - are waiting for Carson and Jasmine to arrive in the "mine mine mine" fire truck and they're late. So basically, Mom put her kids on a ginormous truck with a bunch of strangers on icy blizzardy roads for the sake of arriving in style. Awesome parenting.

Oh good, they're here. Now we can start the party. Carson and Jasmine ride in on a camel and Carson refuses to smile or wave. Jasmine reminds him that this party is "mine and sort of yours so you have to smile." I'm surprised she doesn't pay the camel to spit on people's faces. The show starts... yada yada blah blah blah. Clowns, tight rope walkers, whatever. You would think the looks on the guests' faces would be all "oooooh aaahhhh" but they're more like "what the ......" Carson only cares that there are nachos at this party. His mom could have thrown him a party at a nacho cart (do they have those?) and he would have been happy.

Oooooh, present time! My favorite. Seriously, I love trying to guess what it'll be. I have no ideas on this one. Holy shiz balls, it's a mini horse! And it's wearing a tiny mini horse jacket. I haven't seen a mini horse since Rob & Big. Carson looks pissed. Clearly, this gift is for Jasmine, Lover of All Animals Except Some. He looks like he's about to burn the place down.

Lastly, they gather around the cake. It's actually really cool. It's huge, and it has a train and little circus people and everything. Jasmine literally holds Carson back (this cake is "mine mine mine") from blowing out the candles. Jasmine gets the first piece, and Carson gets the sec.... Nope. Carson literally sits there all sad panda wondering if he is even going to get a piece of Jasmine's cake. It's like what you'd see if you could look back 40 years in the life of Milton Waddams. Now all his"I'm going to burn this circus down" vibes make sense.

Final party cost $29,873. Hey! That's under budget! Disqualified. And disappointing. That's only like $98,564 in New York City dollars.

"Mine mine mine mine"

The first weekend

2011-03-14T08:09:00.000-07:00

This was the first weekend in our new house. It started early Friday morning when Dan left the apartment at 6am to drop The Girls off at my in-law's house and pick up the U-Haul and his friend who would be helping with the move. I, the lucky one, got to go to work all day and leave the heavy lifting to the boys. I also went in early so I could be done early. My new commute involves a lot of rush hour traffic, so Friday was the first day of my new 6:30-ish - 3pm schedule. I arrived at the house before Dan and the truck. It took him nearly 7 hours to load the truck and drive to the house. But the unloading went quickly. The guys hadn't eaten, so I left to get some pizza. By the time I got back, all the furniture was in the house. It only took 2 hours to unload. When my mother-in-law got home from work, I picked her and The Girls up and brought them over. Clover instantly got to digging. I got to work unloading what boxes I could without getting in the way. By 10pm, we'd started hanging pictures and hung out just enjoying being along in our first home. We sipped some wine and sat on the couch and discussed our redecoration plans.

Saturday was even busier. I had to go get a haircut in the old 'hood in the morning, then stopped at the apartment to pick up the few things Dan had left behind and ran a few errands. My dad came up in the afternoon to help with some projects. We all ran to Lowe's and picked up some new light fixtures. The previous owners were apparently obsessed with polished brass lighting. Not our style, at all. So we replaced the entry way and porch lights with silver fixtures that are more our taste. We also picked our paint colors and got to work. We spent Saturday night and all day Sunday painting. We painted until we couldn't see straight. Then we painted more.

Our kitchen went from boring white to red:

It's the same red we used in the apartment, just on a bigger scale.

The master bathroom went from this awful green and gold...

... to this warm "milk chocolate." Isn't it gorgeous?

The guest bathroom, also known as Dan's bathroom, is the same beautiful color. He chose it, and he won't let me forget it. "Isn't my color awesome?" Yes, honey, yes it is. I cannot emphasize enough how awful that green was. And it was everywhere. They painted everything green: the ceiling, the toilet paper holder, even the baseboards. Let me tell you what a pain it is to paint baseboards when they're already installed and touching your brand new carpet. We also replaced the light fixtures in both bathrooms. They used to have light bars with 5 plain ball bulbs that reminded me of hotel or something. So we switched them out for something prettier (I'll update with pics from the real camera later), and it really made as much difference as the paint.

Last night, we headed to Lowe's to "just look" at the appliances, although we'd already done that. They were having a sale that ended that night, and the range model that we'd liked but had been out of our budget was $200 off and now firmly in budget. Not to mention, the matching dishwasher was $100 off. We also had a 10% off coupon for being new home-buyers, which basically made the whole deal too good to pass up. So I currently have a stainless steel Frigidaire Gallery range sitting in my living room waiting for its home in the kitchen to be finished some time this week. The dishwasher should be here Wednesday. Renovation on the tile counter tops starts this evening, and we're hoping to be done Thursday. And then we'll be done with projects for a while.

It dawned on me that we'll have so many stories to tell our kids about our first weekend in the house. About how Dan taught me to mow the lawn with the lawnmower Dan's parents gave us that's missing a wheel. About how friends popped in here and there to see the place and congratulate us. About how I dripped red paint from the garage to the dining room and fast-acting Dan and the Spot Bot (seriously, love that thing) saved the day. About how my dad spent the whole weekend with us, doing almost nothing but painting and enjoying every minute with us. About how Paisley spent as much time in the yard as she could, literally soaking up the sun.

It was a weekend of wonderful firsts. I'm exhausted and sore from painting baseboards and badly in need of more hours in the day. I'm actually so excited to get home today and unpack more boxes. I couldn't have asked for a better first weekend.

Problem solving is WINNING

2011-03-11T09:45:00.001-07:00

I'm pretty sure I mentioned that I have a coworker (whom I call by the code name Bile Chimps) who's completely socially inept and chooses his cubicle as his preferred place to groom himself. In case you don't know, the office is not the appropriate place to trim your nails. I can understand a broken nail or a cuticle that needs to be clipped, but I'm talking full on grooming. This coworker clips his nails at least once a week - all 10 fingers, one disgusting clip at a time. And it's loud. Mrs. ESPN and I exchange giggles and disgusted IMs every time he does it (he sits between us). The nastierst part, for me, is that his nails are still long. Like snort coke or strum a guitar with them long. And men should not have long nails. It's just... icky.

So anyway, we contemplated how to get it to stop. We considered rational actions like leaving an anonymous note or just saying something face-to-face. And then, the evil got the better of us and while Mrs. ESPN was on a business trip last week, the idea of super gluing them shut was presented to her. So this morning, before Bile got here, we attempted it. Unfortunately, there wasn't a significant contact point on the nail clippers to glue them (and trust me, I was disgusted by the fact that I had to touch them). Thankfully, though, we have other cunning coworkers who are equally annoyed by the clipping and who also have great ideas and evil sides. The solution? We glued them to the tray inside Bile's desk drawer.

WINNING. The only thing missing, as Mrs. ESPN pointed out, was "We're not gonna take it!" playing in the background.

Unfortunately, Bile goes to Vegas next week (which is another thing that we've been getting kicks out of all week - I've made a drinking game of doing accruing shots every time he mentions "Vegas"), and he just clipped yesterday, so we won't get to see the reaction until the week after. I have no clue how I'll keep a straight face if he says something, but it's bound to be epic.

The next time I'm in jail...

2011-03-09T08:12:00.000-07:00

As I was driving into work this morning, a particular sign caught my eye. I couldn't take a picture of it because I was too busy texting - just kiiiiding, calm down, Mom - but I'll give you the gist. It looked kinda like this

IN JAIL?

Calling Collect to Cell Phones

Save up to 70% With

602-xxx-xxxx

Hmmmmm. I'm trying to figure out who the target market is here. Clearly, if you're in jail, you're not driving down 24th St. in Phoenix and looking at this sign. Secondly, even if this sign were posted in a jail, is saving the recipient of your collect call 70% really on the top of the priority list? Do they even give you a choice? I wonder if people actually write down this number to keep handy for their next time in slammer. I can just imagine that the next time I'm in jail, the first thing I'll be thinking is "awwww, shoooooot!! I forgot that number to save Dan 70% on this call! Stupid!" Hopefully he'd still bail me out, but it's pretty questionable considering how thoughtless not saving him money was.

Are you weady to wock?!

2011-03-08T08:04:00.000-07:00

It's time for another fun-filled episode of my new favorite show, Outrageous Kid Parties, where moms lie to dads, budgets are blown, and ridiculous is captured in birthday party form for all the world to see. I actually watched last week's episode too, but Blogger ate my recap when I pushed the "Publish" button. As my husband would say, "son of a..."

So anyway, this week features the Rock Star Party of 8-year-old Aniston. Aniston is the youngest of 3 children (one of whom is 18 and not in the house) and the only girl. As such, she's one spoiled little monster. She has a brother who is about 10 who really thinks highly of her, calling her "the most annoying person on the planet" and "spoiled brat." Ah, brotherly love. The best part of Aniston, aside for her affinity for getting her way, is her speech impediment. Aniston loves to tell everyone she's having a "wock staw pawty!" See, adorable. Now before you get all up on me for making fun of a kid, relax. The people on TV aren't real, and if they were, they can't hear me. So we're good. Aniston's mom, Cindy, admits she spoils the every-loving piss out of her only daughter. Aniston's dad travels for work and spends all his quality time with his family via Skype, leaving his wallet in the treacherous hands of his wife and daughter.

First, Aniston and Mom meet with the party planner for my favorite part, the budget discussion. Aniston wants a roller coaster, a Hummer limo, a red carpet, spinning lights, paparazzi and a fake tattoo artist. Seriously, they're going to pay someone to put stickers on the party guests. Oy. The party planner gives Mom the estimate: $10,000. Hmmmm. Mom seems to know this is way out of the budget. Dad's sure to be unhappy. But Aniston wants a Wock Staw Pawty so what choice does she have? Brother tells the camera that his last party was "like, $100" and Aniston gets this huge bash. Poor Brother. I have a feeling we're going to see him on an episode of Maury someday. Or Intervention. And at his intervention, everyone's letter will read "your addiction has affected Aniston's life negatively in the following ways..."

After meeting with the party planner, Mom feels she needs to unwind. What better way to do that than with her friends and a glass of wine? She says she needs to just chill and have the support of her friends. When Mom tells her friends the cost of Aniston's Wock Staw Pawty and how many people are going to be invited, they practically shoot wine out their noses from laughing so hard. Thank goodness these ladies have some sense about them. Not that Mom is going to listen, but at least someone stopped blowing smoke up her ass.

Oh, by the way, everywhere Aniston goes the entire episode, she struts. Like on a catwalk. It's kinda weird.

Aniston and her mom strut their way to a local bakery to pick out a cake. And not just any cake. A ridiculous spinning monstrosity with a $2,500 price tag. Mom says she knows she shouldn't be spending that much but "Aniston wants it so I have to get it for her." Ugh. Mom talks about how all she wanted to be as a little girl is a rock star, and she's going to turn her kid into one. Apparently, she's not concerned about turning her kid into an entitled little witch, but hey. Priorities. After the cake tasting, Aniston goes to a studio for a lesson to really learn how to work the catwalk. It's ridiculous. Tyra would not be pleased. I see no smising, her rhythm is off, and what is she doing with those arms? She looks like a drunk T-Rex. Brother, ever the sensible one, exclaims that this is all ridiculous. So he gets up and does the best ever impersonation of his sister's catwalk. Hilarious. At this point, Dan walked in from cleaning my car (swoon, he luffs me) and smacked his forehead before proceeding to the kitchen for a beer. This show should come with free beer for all viewers. Note to TLC.

Houston, we have a problem. The homeowners association is not happy. They even called Dad on The Road and told him about potential fines. He Skypes Mom to ask what's going on and she plays dumb. Just then, Aniston and her brother come shrieking (literally, these kids are so loud) into the room. Brother screams into the Skype camera that his mom is spending a ton of money. Aniston is talking about her Hummer limo for the Wock Staw Pawty. Dad's all "well, maybe I should come home and see what's going on?" Ya think? Mom brushes it off and hurriedly hangs up. A little later, Mom is talking to the HOA lady about the party. The HOA is going to put the "cab-osh" on this party. Mom asks what would happen if they do it anyway. Answer: they could get evicted. Uh oh. So Mom runs to her best friend, who offers to throw the party at her house. Only issue, Mom doesn't exactly tell her everything she's got planned. Trouble be brewing.

It's Wock Staw Pawty Day!! Aniston has a rock star make over: makeup, hair, facial, fake tattoo, nails, the whole shebang, to the tune of.... $1,500. ::record scratch:: Fifteen hundred dollars? My whole bridal party got hair and makeup done for like a third of that. And also, she's 8! That's not even a Benjamin for every year of her life. Not to mention, I've never even had a facial. I'm sure it did wondres for her - she probably doesn't look a day over 7 and a half. Why not Botox? Yeeeesh. And all they did is put brightly colored doll hair in her ponytail (which Clover barked at). She looks like a giant Bratz doll, which is very fitting. Birthday Brat strutted her way to her limo, threatening that anyone who got in her way couldn't ride in it to the Wock Staw Pawty.

Aniston is greeted by screaming friends, a ferris wheel, blow up bounce houses, and a father who doesn't look too pleased about all this. Hey Dad, maybe it's time to retire from The Road and do the parenting thing from the house instead of via Skype? Aniston does a performance that made my ears bleed and the night ended with fireworks. I don't even remember what she got for her birthday because really, it's probably insane and I've frankly tuned out. Final Wock Staw Pawty pwice tag: $29,800.

Honestly, this episode is both hilarious and sad. I feel really awful for the brother, who obviosly is on the wrong end up some pretty ridiculous favoritism from his mom. I know I joked about him being on Intervention, but honestly, I could see it. At the very least, I'm sure he'll need some therapy down the road. And Aniston? What a piece of work she's gonna be. You have to tell your kids "no" now and then. They'll live. No child ever literally died because they didn't get their way. Look, I can understand wanting a kid and wanting to give them everything, but at what cost? This mother is raising a holy terror who is unlikely to be able to handle the adversities in life without turning to destructive behaviors. Come to think of it, that's like a lot of rock stars, so maybe this really is a perfect fit. Gosh darn it, I got all thoughtful and stuff.

Wock on!!

Paisley's reaction to moving

2011-03-07T08:31:00.000-07:00

We have 4 days to go until the big move (yay!) and packing is coming along well. We've got most of our stuff in boxes, aside from clothes we'll wear this week and personal items. Dan tells me the spare bedroom, which is full of tools and cleaning supplies at this point, is packed. It doesn't look any different to me, but I don't have to move it, so I'll take his word for it. It's nice to be making progress, and I'm getting very excited. There is just one member of this family who's not so happy with the packing: Paisley.

This was Paisley on Friday evening. She's a wee bit puffy. Aren't those wrinkles the cutest? Someone is allergic to packing, perhaps. She swelled up, got hives, and spent the weekend tossing her cookies. Awesome. She either got bit by something or she's really freaking out about this whole moving thing. I'm thinking it's anxiety from having her home suddenly turn into a cardboard maze. Poor thing probably thinks we're leaving her. It started Friday with the hives and swollen face, then progressed to an upset tummy (puking only, thank goodness). She was out of sorts all day Saturday. On Sunday morning, I opened the crate to let The Girls out, and Paisley puked while Clover peed on the carpet. All within about 3 minutes of me even being awake. Benadryl and a diet of white rice had her pretty much back to her old self by yesterday afternoon, and I hope it stays that way.

She completely reminds me of this post from Hyperbole and a Half. Paisley is our Helper Dog, Clover is our Simple Dog. Ironically, a friend had sent me the link to the post on Friday, mere hours before I went home to find my own Helper Dog bumpy with hives. I'm just glad we're moving 24 miles away and not 2 states away. I think we'd have to sedate her if that was the case. The next time we move (I hope that's a loooooong tome from now), I'm going to need someone to warn Paisley. And that person will also need to volunteer to administer the 20 Benadryls it'll take her to get through the week. I just hope she appreciates it all when she has a yard of her very own come Friday. Poor Helper Dog.

Adventures on Craigslist

2011-03-04T08:47:00.000-07:00

One of the things I've been excited about with the new house is being able to entertain friends and family in a non-cramped space. We're so lucky in Arizona that we can be outside for a big portion of the year, so I wanted a patio set that would seat 6 for dining outdoors from October to May (see, Arizona is awesome!). So I naively began my search for a patio set, and quickly realized that a 7-piece set can easily cost the same as a Geo Metro. Good lawd! People want some serious money for a table and chairs. So I turned my attention to Craigslist, where I hoped to find a gently used set to last us a couple years, possibly to be replaced with more of an "investment" piece later.

Craigslist kinda drives me nuts. There's all sorts of junk on there burying the gems and good deals. And the pictures people post? Really, folks, if you're going to try to sell a sofa, take the laundry off of it. I found an ad for one patio set that said in the description "does not come with cushions." And the picture showed why: they'd apparently been ripped off by a rapid boar and there were only remnants left. Not to mention, the table itself had what looked to be rotten leaves on it. Take some pride in what you're selling, and take the 5 minutes to hit it with some Windex. Proper staging is key.

So anyway, I responded to a couple of ads over the last couple days, and didn't hear back. Bummer, because they looked to be nice sets. I sent another email last night when I got home for a third ad. I asked for a description of the set as there were no photos. About an hour later, I got a reply from the owner describing the set. I couldn't tell you what it looked like, though, because I couldn't get past the email address.... &#^%$babes69 at aol.com (where &#^%$ are other letters to conceal the whole addy).

Where to begin? First, "babes69?" Really? That's how you want to present yourself to people? Call me crazy, but I'd feel like a douche when people asked for my email address and I responded "it's, uh, &#^%$ b-a-b-e-s-sixty-nine..." How old is this person? And how have they not been told to sign up for an appropriate email address? That was one of the first things we learned in college - get yourself an email address that lacks mention of any body parts, sexual acts, recreational substances, or implications of promiscuity. Just your name, maybe with a dot or an underscore at blahblah.com. That's it. First impressions, in business, and in life, are everything, and "babes69" isn't a good one. I can't help but imagine some sleezy guy sitting in front of his computer eating Fritos chili pies in his sweatpants. When he's not eating, he's probably taking duck face self-portraits in his bathroom mirror and posting them on the singles section of Craigslist. Who knows what that poor furniture has seen or been through. Ew.

Secondly, AOL? I know it's still around because I know other people with AOL addresses, but it still amazes me to see one. I wonder if I could pay "babes69" in 1,500 free hour CDs. I'm sure I have some in an old box somewhere. Those CDs are as good as money, you know. Remember how we all got those CDs and we'd go sign up for AOL and search by keywords and go in chat rooms and enjoy the sound of "you've got mail" for 1,500 hours, and then when the account ran out, you'd have to wait for a new CD, get a new handle, and start all over? How many CDs has "babes69" gone through in 15 years? Maybe "babes69" used to be "babes1" so the answer to my question is actually 69 CDs.

Clearly, I don't think this is the set for me. Lord knows what "babes69" has been doing with it or where it's been. Thanks, but no thanks. I went to a large box store which will remain unnamed and ordered a new, untainted set for the same amount of money. "Babes69" will have to find someone else to buy his unfortunate patio set.

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Also, I did a little guest blurb over at Amanda's blog that you should check out. Sheen Watch 2011: It's full of win.

My Porous Hell

2011-03-03T08:10:00.000-07:00

I checked out Amanda's blog today, and she had a fun post about pet peeves. It's part of a writing prompt from Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop. Okay, I can handle that. I have pet peeves. A lot of them. Like clipping nails at the office, poor grammar, and people who won't just be flipping courteous and let me merge into their lane when I have nowhere else to go and it's just the nice thing to do (!!). Some of them bother other people, too, but this writing prompt is about pet peeves that bother you but shouldn't. Something that is totally normal but I somehow turn it into something completely assinine directed only at me for the sole purpose of making me want to claw my eyes out. I'm talking about sponges here. I don't know if a single object counts as a pet peeve, but it counts for me.

On Tuesday night, Dan and I headed over to Lowe's to check out counter top options for the new house. We'd been talking about granite tiles, and we went to look at the different styles. Until then, Dan had said nothing but good things about granite and then all of a sudden, he broke out with "it's porous so you have to be careful about food dyes and raw chicken and stuff." First, I'm not going to cut chicken directly on the granite. Second that's what sealants and antibacterial cleaners are for. Lastly, there are nastier and more porous things that touch the counter top than raw chicken. Like freaking SPONGES.

I've always hated sponges. In fact, I hate most non-disposable cleaning products. I'm in no way concerned about reducing my carbon footprint when it comes to stuff I clean with. Dust rags are the only exception to this. Those can stay. Sponges are just gross. I hate using them. They smell, and you can't tell me that tiny bits of stuff aren't hanging out in the porous material of your average kitchen sponge. Before I met Dan, I dated a guy who didn't understand my hatred and detest for sponges and thought I was wasting paper towels. Imagine his surprise when he took away my paper towels and handed me a sponge and then watched me freak out almost to the point of tears when I was told we'd be using sponges from now on. He was an a-hole, granted, but now you understand just how much I really hate them.

I've grown up and got past it somewhat in the last couple of years. I can say that I do use sponges for some things. Much to my chagrin, but it has to be done. I have good pots and pans that I don't put in the dishwasher and they have to get cleaned somehow. So I use those really nice Scotch Brite sponges with the green Brillo on one side. Somehow, buying the really good expensive ones makes it better. No generic Target dollar bin sponges for this girl (even though some of them are very cute). And it's preferred that the sponge itself is connected to something else (like a wand with dish soap inside) so I don't have to directly touch it. I wash the darn things in every other running of the dishwasher to keep them as clean as possible, and I don't keep them for more than about a month. For something that's not supposed to be really disposable, I make it so. It's the only way I can handle using the most disgusting thing I can think of.

And you'd better believe they never touch my counter tops.

...make that 14 days!

2011-02-25T14:33:00.000-07:00

Dan (with my apartment-hating support) has decided that we'll just move the Friday after we close on the house.... 2 weeks from today! Eek! The packing began last night. We filled some 8 boxes and took all the art off the walls. Still, it's like there isn't even a dent in what has to be packed up. This is going to be a couple weeks of packing. But the end is in sight. The best part? They need our apartment early for new renters, and since we'll be out by the 13th, our rent will be cut in half. And? And, we don't have to do any cleaning or repaint the walls we painted, because they've somehow decided we're doing them a favor. Woohoo!

Our loan has been fully approved, so we're at the point where I can safely and securely say that this is a go. So, here are some pics of the house from the MLS sites. I can't wait to start doing stuff to our home so that I have Before and After posts.

The street view

Living room with bay window...

... and fireplace

Where the magic happens - this picture doesn't adequately show all my cabinet space

Master bedroom with huge walk-in closet and french door entry - that's a queen size bed, y'all, which means the king we want will more than fit

Patio for entertaining. There's also a place for a fire pit and a built-in BBQ, so we'll have both gas and charcoal grills

It's really happening... excuse me while I squeeee!

22 days...

2011-02-24T08:22:00.000-07:00

I've been keeping a secret. Kind of. Some of you, like Facebook or Twitter or IRL friends already know. I just haven't written about it here. Sort of in case it didn't pan out, and sort of because there's been a lot going on the last few weeks. But in 22 days, we'll be moving to our new home! 22 more days of coming home to the apartment, climbing stairs, making 4 puppy potty trips a morning and 6 puppy potty trips an evening. 22 more days of being renters, of having neighbors that are attached to us, and living in the first place we lived as husband and wife. 22 more days.

We are really excited. It's surreal. I admit that when people ask about the house, they probably don't think I'm all that excited. But I really am. I guess I just feel cautious still. Even though I know there's not much that could go wrong at this point. Maybe it's the fact that I have the daunting task of packing still in front of me. Maybe when that's done, then I'll get really stoked. And I've been told I definitely had to pack. Last time we moved, I apparently had the notion we could just carry things from one building to the other. And it worked for some stuff, but it won't this time. We have to actually pack, with, like boxes and stuff.

We close on March 9th. That first weekend will be spent replacing the oven, redoing the countertops, and installing a doggie door. Ambitious, but doable. Dan's pretty determined. He wanted to move that first Friday and I had to back the train up, remind him that we didn't want to live in a house with a kitchen in progress. So we're moving 22 days from tomorrow, on March 18th. Dan will take the day off, and his friend will help load and unload the U-Haul. I'll pretty much go to work from the apartment and come home to our house. Our home. That's the thought that gets me excited. We're finally going to have a place all our own. I've been here in Phoenix for almost 6 years, and this is the first time I'll be living in a place with a sense of permanence. I finally get to put down some real roots. That's the exciting part.

My new favorite show: The bird is supposed to be blue

2011-02-22T09:10:00.000-07:00

Some of you who follow me on Twitter or know me in real life may know that I have a secret (or not so secret) love for Toddlers and Tiaras. It's my favorite train wreck aside from Teen Mom and 16 and Pregnant. So you can imagine the absolute euphoria I felt (and the dread Dan experienced) when I saw this beauty was airing on TLC last night:

Yeah, boring logo. Awesome show. Perfect show for me to recap: found. The series premier featured the ridiculously over-the-top princess party of Gracie, who was turning 6. Initial budget for the party: $15,000. Kind of. Or $10,000. Or, if Dad had his way, $60. So it starts off with little Princess Gracie and her delusional mom meeting with the planner to discuss this budget. Basically, right off, we can tell Mom is going to be hiding costs from Dad. Which makes me wonder - how does this guy, who is the breadwinner since Mom is a stay-at-home air-breather, not have any idea what's going on with his finances? How do you hide spending $15,000 from your husband? And their house, while big, is not a mansion (the kitchen is sad, folks), so it's not like it's $15,000 out of $1.8 Billion.

Speaking of which, I also watched The Unpoppables on TLC, about balloon figure designers. This woman was throwing a party for her husband, who she says is stressed about providing for their newborn son while she stays home. So she goes and throws him a huge surprise party in this wicked fancy hotel ballroom, complete with these monstrous crazy balloon things. And those were only the decorations. Now, call me naive, but I'd imagine that paying a staff of 3 people for 4 days to blow up, tie, twist, and build a sail boat and tiki bar out of 3,000 balloons can't be cheap. So definitely, when your husband is stressed about being the manly sole provider, the obvious choice is to spend his hard earned money on a party decorated with a boat load (literally) of balloons. And again, how did this guy not notice that his money was being spent like that? You'd better believe that if I was our sole breadwinner, I'd be watching our accounts like a freaking sniper. There'd be no surprises. Ever. Moral of the story: stay-at-home moms need something to do other than plan parties, because things get carried away.

Anyway, Gracie. Gracie's a piece of work. She's quite the demanding little thing. Spoiled rotten. Dances on chairs during dinner, slurps down Starbucks like it's going out of style, the whole bit. Her mom explains that she was a surprise - she found out she was pregnant with Gracie at 40, when her older kids were 9 and 11. If Gracie's turning 6, that means the older siblings are turning 16 and 18. Older Sister makes sure to note that therehas been no mention of huge parties for their milestone birthdays. More than once, Mom refers to the older kids as "already gone." What she means by this is that they no longer believe in fairytales and might as well be shipped off to an old folks home because they're no longer entertaining to their mother. But, Mom has a solution for that. Older Sister gets to make her cheer squad make up a Gracie cheer (G-R-A-C-I-E... creative). She looks mortified. Older Brother and his friend, who was unfortunate enough to have been sitting on the couch, get to dress up as royal page boys or something or other and go door to door yelling "hear ye, hear ye" to deliver Princess Gracie's $3,000 scroll invitations. They both look thrilled, let me tell you.

The party is obviously getting out of control when Mom and her equally delusional mother take Gracie shopping for her cake. Mom says she thought that Gracie would choose a kiddie cake. Oh, no. Not Gracie. Child picks out a $2,000 wedding cake and wants a BLUE bird on it. At the dress shop, she chooses a puffy pink and white gown that cost $750. My wedding dress? Cost half that.
Next, Mom goes to pick out Gracie's horse and carriage. Yes, Gracie will be arriving in style in a Cinderella-style pumpkin carriage. Cue Mom stating once again that her older kids are fuddy duddies who don't believe in fairytales and this is so special for Gracie and her last chance to do this. You'd think believing in fairytales was as necessary to sustaining life as oxygen, according to this woman. Next up is a visit to the venue to sort out details, where we discover that the cost of the party is going to be at least $20,000. Ruh roh. Mom goes home and tells Dad about all the amazing costumes and special effects. Dad clues in and wisely states there's no way you can plan a party like what he's hearing about for $10,000 and Mom skates like Tanya Harding around his questions, saying "it'll all be so magical and worth it."

Finally, it's party day. Gracie's hair and makeup stylists cancel last minute, which is probably what everyone else involved in this monstrosity should have done. Little Princess refuses to let anyone dress her or do her hair. Mom is running around like a crazy woman and throwing the coordinator under the bus because the buffet table isn't where it should be. Dad is walking around turning pale taking it all in: costumes for every guest (cha-ching), at least 10 decorators (cha-ching), hired dancers (cha-ching). At this point, I'm giddy with anticipation of the big blow out, and Dan is looking nauseated. Gracie pulls up in her horse and carriage with 6 of her rug rat friends. She doesn't look any more excited than if she were at Chuck E. Cheese. Mom, however, is squeeeing all over the place.

Once in the party, there's not much going on. Six year-olds don't seem to do much at parties. Finally, the hired Good Witch of the East/Fairy Godmother (cha-ching) announces it's time for the cake. And out comes pretty much the biggest cake I've ever seen. It's beautiful and very elegant considering a kindergartner chose it, but Gracie instantly spots something displeasing. The bird is blue! She freaks! "The bird is supposed to be bluuuuueeee!" I wait for her to go all Hulk Smash and instead she just bursts into tears and ruins her makeup, along with her dad's costume (cha-ching).

Thankfully, she gets over it, and it's on to present time! The Good Witch tells Crazy - er Gracie -to open her gift, and a pink Power Wheels Cadillac Escalade is revealed. Gracie's response: "but I don't know how to driiiiive." Womp, womp, womp. "Thank you" would have sufficed, kiddo. Stick that in your back pocket for next time.

Final party cost: $32,000. Eeek. The credits say Mom and Dad are still happily married, but Mom seemed pretty out of touch with anything even close to reality, so I doubt it. I'll be waiting for the spin off: When Kid Birthdays Cause Divorces. Hopefully, someone is able to come up with a better title, but you get the gist.

Until next week....

Under contract

2011-02-13T09:16:00.000-07:00

We are under contract! Hooray! We had an offer accepted verbally yesterday, and got the contract signed officially by the seller this morning. I'm equal parts ecstatic and freaked. I know there are a few more steps to get through, but this is the first hurdle, and we did it! We have a contract.

The house is a 3 bed, 2 full bath ranch style in the area we originally wanted. New carpet and tile, fireplace, nice back yard for entertaining, tons of cabinet and counter space in the kitchen, and room for 2 RV gates. Pretty much, everything on our list. And it's completely move in ready, which allowed us to really use our cash budget well. So keep your fingers crossed for us as we go into inspection and appraisal week. Our close date is tentatively scheduled for March 9th, giving us almost 3 weeks before our lease is up to get settled in.

Phew.

The week in Morristown was a killer. Early mornings, 10 and 11 hour days, sometimes with dinner after. A lot of info that didn't pertain to me, a lot of training type crap that anyone who does the stuff it did pertain to should know, and a lot of annoyance from the co-irkers. As expected, it was Mrs. ESPN that saved me from going postal (er, tax analyst) on some people. The lead-up to flight home was about the punchiest I've ever seen her, which was quite amusing for me. This weekend is nowhere near long enough to make up for the incredibly boring week we endured. Buuuuut, the VP did give us all a video camera as a thank you for our time, so I'm willing to forgive and forget a little. My soul can officially be bought with flashy electronics.

We're now off to Tucson to pick up our pups and help my dad with a project. I'll hopefully get a chance to do a mock-up of my sister's shower candy buffet table and get some tissue poms made, too. Watch out, Mom, you're about to be put to work.

Friday Randomness

2011-02-04T08:51:00.001-07:00

It's been a very busy week. It's month end close at work, and we have the added pressure of making sure things get done before we head to our corporate head quarters in Morristown for a week. More on that in a minute. I haven't had a chance to form a coherent and sensible thought in a while, but I'm going to give it a whirl.

- The potential deal on the house with the divorcees is a no-go. They seriously can't seem to communicate, and we gave them almost a week to come through with either a counter offer or an acceptance, only to find that the wife doesn't even seem to want to sell. Take it off the market then! I swear, these people are bat shit crazy. We're going looking with Raluca again tomorrow morning, and hoping that one of the six that we see is a good one, and then also that the 3rd time is a charm.

- Morristown. Oy. My group at work, along with Mrs. ESPN, is going to Morristown, New Jersey on Sunday. I'm mostly (like 67%) dreading it. Not only is it going to be super cold, but I can see my boss and coworker (the one who talks endlessly about weight loss while eating brownies and clips his nails in his cube) driving me insane. I also just like being at home - a week away living out of a suit case and not doing my own cooking and not sleeping in my own bed is going to wear on me. I used to travel for work, so I know that what makes a business trip enjoyable is who you're with. I'm going to be with a 75% anxiety-inducing crew. I'm just thankful Mrs. ESPN will be with me. She'll keep me sane when everyone else pushes me toward the edge.

- I'm getting very anxious about my sister's shower and hoping it all comes together. I'm really really excited about the candy bar. I got all the candy and the containers for it sorted out about a week ago. Dan and I practiced making tissue paper poms and they came out really well! Dan's actually a very talented pom maker. I just need to figure out how to exploit his talent. I also plan on making some of the candy bar stuff myself - chocolate covered Oreos and pretzels, cupcakes, and mint meringues. I bought a mold and gave the Oreos a try last night and they came out really good! My coworkers certainly appreciate me practicing goodie-making.

- Even though we don't celebrate Valentine's Day, I want this super cute "Kiss the Cookie Decorator" sign and adorable sheet of cookies cookie favor on the Cookie Crumbs blog by A Dozen Eggs Bake Shoppe. I love this blog, and the shoppe is something like what I'd love to have myself someday. I might just have to send Dan this link as a not-so-subtle hint.

- This may seem weird, but I was super excited the other morning about Clover. As you may very well know, she's not a cuddly puppy. She likes us mostly because we give her food, but she isn't attached to us like Paisley is. I take that back. If Paisley's not around, she'll curl up on our lap, but for the most part, she's far too busy with chasing shadows and ripping socks and trying to sneak stuff out of the pantry to give us much attention. Anyway, yesterday, we were hanging out in bed in the morning, like we always do. I started talking to Clover and telling her how sweet she is and she started wagging her tail, people. She never does that. She wags it when I come home and when she's playing with Paisley, but she's never wagged her tail just with me talking to her. I'm a total dork, but I imagined it must be how a parent feels when their baby gives them a smile for the first time. Okay, that might be taking it far, but still. It made me very happy. Maybe she loves me after all!

Hope everyone has a great weekend!!

Get your sh*t together

2011-01-30T21:14:00.000-07:00

House hunting round 2 began at 9am on Saturday. Dan and I met our agent, Raluca, at house #1, a house than Dan wanted to see because of the large lot. It was in a nice quiet cul-de-sac and looked nice from the outside. We knew it qualified for a renovation loan and the estimate in the listing was $2800. Not huge, and workable depending on what the renovations were. Inside: huge mess. We nixed it quickly.

House #2 was a brand new listing, on the market as of Thursday morning. The bedrooms were clustered and there was no space for a dishwasher without removing cabinets, which were sparse to begin with. There were multiple listings, and we had to get a preapproval with the listing lender. It was okay, but not feeling it to go through the hassle.

We got in the car to go to #3. It was literally 300 feet away on the other side of the street. I hadn't been super stoked about the pictures, but we looooooved the inside. It had nice spacious living spaces, and an enclosed Arizona room off the living room. Compared to the first house we put an offer on, which had similar square footage, it felt very homey. The house had new carpet and tile, as well as new paint, throughout the whole house. It had a bonus room off the garage/laundry room that we could use as a pantry or office. It also had a separated master bath - the tub and toilet were separate from the sink - just like we have now. We ranked it highly on our mental list and moved on.

Houses #4 and 5 were nice, but not it. They were near to each other, but just didn't have that instant attraction we had to house #3. Plus, they had HOA fees and were at the top of the budget. If you're going to be at the top of our budget, an HOA fee and a small kitchen and/or odd entry won't get ya far. Nix and ixnay.

So we discussed House #3 as we stood in the living room of House #5 and decided to submit an offer. House #3 was priced well below the area's market average of $60/square foot. Raluca called the listing agent, an investment company, and learned that there were two offers: one below list price, and one "very close." So we decided to go over, and ask for closing costs to be paid, making the bottom line $4K above listing price, yet well within feasible appraisal value. A fair and more than reasonable offer. And then we waited.

Raluca called me as I was on my way to Tucson later the same day. She told me that she'd gotten a contract signed by the investment company (!!!) but then (!), then, she'd gotten a call from the investor's wife saying she was part of the LLC and they were going through a divorce and she didn't agree and her soon-to-be husband's contract was void without her signature. What.the.fuck? In subsequent conversations, Raluca learned that the husband wanted to take our superior offer, and the wife wanted to take an asking-price cash offer. She pretty much wanted to have a quick deal and get out of their business partnership. And neither of them can sell without the consent of the other. Well, shit. So we're stuck in some couple's feud. I told Raluca to keep me posted.

Two hours later, Raluca called again. Evidently, Mr. and Mrs. Happily Ever After weren't able to come to an agreement and decided to pull the house - the house we wanted as OUR house - off the market. Pretty much the opposite of her goal of getting all assets off their books ASAP and moving on. We went from a 50/50 shot to a 0% shot in a snap. We're torn between hoping they resolve their feud and accepting our offer, and wondering if pursuing the deal is stupid, as we could pay for an inspection and appraisal only to have them get in another fight and then we're out $600, if not more. I seriously don't know what to do. We could really see ourselves living there. I guess we'll take it day by day and see what happens. I honestly don't know if we should cross our fingers this will work out, or move on and thank our lucky stars they didn't pull out 1 day before close. I asked Raluca to get a status update tomorrow, as the investors are supposed to meet with their lawyer regarding their LLC. I guess I just hope the lawyer will order them to commit to the highest offer (us) and wash their hands of each other.

Everything has always come so easy to us. This has truly been our first challenge. We're running out of market listings we agree on to see. We've put in notice with the apartment complex. We can go month-to-month, but it would increase our living costs by 50%. We're just hoping we find something in the next few weeks that will allow us to not have to extend our lease. Hopefully, the third time will be the charm, but I'm quickly learning that it's not nearly as easy as hoping.

Back to the drawing board

2011-01-26T09:25:00.000-07:00

Well, the house went to auction. Apparently, the bank never even responded to the offers. Our agent confirmed that the house is on the auction website. I hope the bank gets like 50% of the asking price for being greedy and not accepting our 95% offer. Yes, I'm a bit bitter. I'll get over it though. I give it another hour or two until I'm excited about looking again.

So now the search continues. Dan and I will re-evaluate the favorites on our list and we'll probably go looking on Friday after work. None of the pictures of them are as appealing as those of that house, but I'm hoping we'll be pleasantly surprised by them in person. And hey, bonus, most of the houses on our list are $10-25K less than this one was, so "yay!" for lower mortgage payments. Thanks everyone for crossing your fingers for us :)

Another annoying thing well-meaning people say

2011-01-25T16:09:00.000-07:00

"Whatever will be, will be"
"If it's meant to be, it will be"
"Que sera sera"

I have a feeling people are going to disagree with me on this one, but I kinda don't care. I'm ready to throat punch the next person that says any of those phrases to me. Yes, I know the people that have said them over the last week mean only the best, and are just trying to reassure me and probably keep me from feeling crushed if this house doesn't work out to be ours. But it doesn't make "if it's meant to be, it will be" any less annoying.

First, it's not going to make me want it any less. We want this house. Obviously. Or we wouldn't have put an offer in on it. We liked it from the start, looking past the imperfections and necessary repairs to see our potential home. We spent the weekend talking about how we'd decorate it. We're not delusional - we know there are a lot of steps between making an offer and moving in. But we love the house, and want it, and it was fun to talk about what we would do with it. The things we dreamt up aren't any different from what we'd probably do to any other house - we just have this one in mind in terms of visual reference. Someone telling me that there may be another plan out there in the universe for us isn't going to change the fact that I want this house.

Maybe people are trying to keep me from being disappointed if this house doesn't work out. I appreciate it, but I'll still be disappointed. It's a great house, and it's going to be a bummer if I pick up the phone and hear my agent say "you didn't get it." Yes, I'll wonder if we should have increased our offer - no matter how confident I am that we did the absolute right thing for us. But I assure you, I'll get over it. We'll find another house. We may like it more than this one, or we may like it less. But we will find another one we will be happy with. My disappointment won't last forever. I'm not going to cry or throw a fit, but I'll be miffed for an evening and then I'll wake up ready to resume the house hunt.

And I'm sure there may be people who read this and are thinking "oh crap, I said that to her." I'm not upset with anyone. I appreciate that you're trying to make me feel reassured and like everything will work out. I know things will work out. Right now, I'm just tired of the implication that this is all out of my hands and in the hands of someone or something else. I'm disliking the lack of control in this situation, and "whatever will be, will be" only heightens my awareness of that fact.

BTW, we're supposed to hear who "wins" the house by the end of the day. It's 4:33pm. They're really pushing my patience. I just want to know so we can move on to either another round of showings or an inspection period. Just.tell.me!

Fingers and toes are crossed... UPDATE

2011-01-24T09:02:00.000-07:00

Well, here's the update on the house situation. We put in an offer on house #3! After looking over the list of other available homes to see on Saturday, Dan and I decided we didn't like the specs or photos of anything as much as we liked house #3. Not to mention, it's in a great neighborhood and would be by far the best investment in the long term. So, we got together with our agent (whom I work with, which is super convenient) and submitted our offer. We feel pretty confident that it's a fair offer, and hopefully they'll take it over the risk of taking the house to auction. The situation on that, by the way, is that they scheduled it to go but hadn't yet committed it for auction and so we had until tomorrow to go for it.

So the wait is on. We requested a response by today at 5pm, and I'm already anxious. Because I work with our agent, she keeps me up to date and I know that the offer has been received and so now we just wait for them to either accept or counter. We're pretty confident they won't counter - we offered full asking price less closing costs, which is pretty standard in today's market. Because the home is owned by Fannie Mae and therefore is sold as is, there are no major things we can ask to be repaired. We just have to hope nothing major comes up in the inspection, and if there is, we decide what we are willing to deal with or pull out. I feel like I say "if" a lot lately.

Of course now, I'm thinking of all the things we somehow didn't think of before, like the fact that we currently own zero appliances. That's a bit of a big one. The good thing is, if we close based on my realtor's projected timeline, we'll have 5 weeks between closing and the end of the apartment lease to get things in order. Not to mention, we have to paint because two of the bedrooms currently look they got vomited on by a Crayola box. No joke. The master is purple and orange (like the Phoenix Suns) and one of the spare bedrooms is bright blue and Christmas frosting green. Yuck. Oddly enough, the entire rest of the house is white, save for bedroom #3, which is a calm, sensible taupe. Go figure.

So please cross your fingers for us!

We spent the weekend being bums, for the most part. We did venture out to buy Dan cowboy boots that he's been wanting. He got a gift certificate from my mom for Christmas and he was excited to finally go pick them out. Then we had dinner and talked about our ideas for our - hopefully - new home. Yesterday we went to Scott and Melissa's. Dan got tattooed while I entertained the kiddos with their new belated Christmas gifts. I played about 4 games of Monopoly with Dawson, and Kadence loved her new baby doll stroller. She probably did 3,475 laps around the living room with her Build-a-Bear, giggling away the entire time. Oh, and the Sing-a-Ma-Jig I was soooo excited to give her? She couldn't have cared less. Bummer.

Your fingers are still crossed, right? :)

UPDATE: After sitting on the market for freaking 150 days, suddenly there's a multiple offer situation, with a deadline of tomorrow at 8am for our best possible offer. Dan and I talked it over and decided we'd already given it. It's hard to think with your brain and not with your heart. I don't want to lose this house, but I did all the math and figured out what each $1K increase in purchase price means for monthly expenses and we decided we're not willing to go higher, considering that this house is already going to cost us some change just to get it move-in ready. Now the waiting is even worse. I'm trying to prepare myself for the worst, yet remain optimistic that hopefully, our offer is still strongest. Cross your fingers tighter, please.

The hunt begins

2011-01-20T09:08:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was our first round of house-hunting. I think it went well. We have a "no," a "pretty much a no," and a "heck yes! but probably no." But more on that.

The first house we saw was a 3 bed, 2 bath in Glendale. The pictures online were good, but they were NOT representative of the house itself. Someone got creative with angles or Photoshop, people. The layout and the structure was good, but it was so dirty and destroyed that it was hard to imagine how it could be our home without a lot of work. And there'd be hours and hours of cleaning before we even got to the "lot of work." We're willing to put in some elbow grease, but not that much. Note to people who are leaving their house: it's not necessarily to rough it up before you go. Also, if your 10-year-old son is as tall as me, as indicated by the marks on the exterior kitchen wall, you're feeding him too much processed hormone-y meat, and I'm just plain scared. That is all.

The second house was one that Dan had picked to see. It's a short sale, which has me hesitant. I want out of the apartment ASAP, and I find it hard to believe that we can't find something we'd like just as much that wouldn't require us to go through a process that I hear makes people say "I'd rather pull my own eyelashes out." But he was all jazzed about its big driveway, so we went. The house was cute, and in a cul-de-sac, which is nice. The living area was spacious, and the eat-in kitchen was modern and has a ton of counter space. The backyard had a covered patio, and the house is getting a brand new roof thanks to recent hail damage. The downside: the bedrooms were clumped together and the master bath was tiny. Like "hey, we have a failry big closet, let's make a tiny bathroom in it" tiny. Nothing redeeming enough to endure a short sale.

The last house was one we weren't sure we'd get to see. It's in a beautiful neighborhood. There were people walking down the street with dogs and there were kids on bikes. Nice area, and super convenient to all the things I have here in Ahwatukee. We walked in and instantly loved it. Fireplace, all tile floors, wood flooring in the bedroom, split floor plan, a ton of kitchen counter space, really nice master bath with double sinks. Great foundations. The listing says "as is" and there are some obvious things we'd have to deal with - the guest bath would need tile replaced, we'd need some drywall work done, and the master bedroom would need a new door to the patio. The counters in the kitchen are also an ugly pink, but they have a lot of potential. None of this is stuff we wouldn't be willing to do, and quite honestly, with my husband being the fixture snob that he is, we'd plan to work with the bathrooms before we ever even moved in. Yes, my husband is the guy who replaces toilets before he even puts his clothes in the closets. The kitchen is something we plan to eventually upgrade unless we're lucky enough to find a home with an amazing kitchen in our budget, which isn't likely.

Point is, we love it. We'd seriously put and offer in like right now. Of course, everyone is all "look more!" Well, Dan and I operate the same way, which is great for us as a married couple. You see, we don't have to look at every house on the market in our price range to pick a favorite. We know what we like when we see it and can say "yep, I'm happy with that." I did it with my wedding dress, the frame on my Sistine Chapel print (we looked for 3 hours and ended up getting the one I first pointed out), our wedding venue, etc. We don't need to shop by elimination. It's just not our style. So to those of you who are reading thinking, "that's only 3 houses! You can't put an offer in on the first day!" Oh yes, I can.

However - and this is a big "however" - the listing also says "auction." The realtor said that usually with auction properties, the MLS states where and when the auction will be, and this info was missing. So there's a small possibility that this was added prematurely and that the house is still available to the general buying public. The realtor is going to call today to see what's up. So we may still have a shot at this house, though it's probably not likely, and we're realistic about that. If we don't have a chance, this house will at least be a standard against which we measure others. It's got everything we hope to find.

We're seeing between 6 and 8 more houses this weekend. I'm very excited, because at least I've seen that there is at least one house out there in our budget that we can love. It's going to be a long Saturday, but we're both really hopeful.

The one where I talk about trying to conceive

2011-01-19T13:16:00.000-07:00

In the 8 months that Dan and I have been trying to add to our family, we've told some people about our endeavor. This may or may not have been a mistake. I don't really think so, because it's been great having the support of friends, but it also opens us up to people's opinions. Which, if you haven't heard, are like assholes. It also opens you up to the suggestions and comments of people who just don't know better. That's fine, people aren't educated in conception most of the time, and I know a lot more than I sometimes wish I did.

Let's cover what I do know.

- I know it can take a healthy couple 12 months to be successful at conception. A full year. Heartbreaking when you're wanting something so badly, but at the same time, completely normal. Also, allow me to preface the rest of this post now that I understand that we have not been trying for a long time. It feels long, because we want it, but I understand that it's not.

- I know that there's only a 20% chance in a given cycle that conception will occur. That's for a healthy couple with perfect timing. Let's do math. There's an EIGHTY percent chance we won't get lucky in any given month. What does this mean? Getting pregnant is difficult.

- I know that "perfect timing" means insemination must occur in a - at most - 4 day fertile window beginning 3 days before ovulation and ending the day after.

- I know when I ovulate. This is helpful because I'm not constantly wasting pregnancy tests because I think I'm late. It's also mostly helpful because I know my plumbing works at the basic functional level.

- I know that 28 day cycles with ovulation on day 14 is more often than not a myth. Trust me, this was the biggest thing to shock me when I started reading up on fertility and conception. I'm pretty sure we were all taught this little formula in 8th grade health class and it's simply not true. If you're a "textbook" cycler, spare telling me so.

If you want to put all these concepts together to see just how miraculous it is that any of us are here, go to Youtube and search for "The Great Sperm Race." Wait, make popcorn first. Then go to Youtube. You're welcome.

I also know that people just don't know what to say at times, or they say the oddest things. While trying to be helpful and supportive, people's "advice" is often misguided.

Examples:

"It'll happen when it's meant to" or "Maybe it's just not the right time." I really dislike these statements. Conception has nothing to do with all being right in the world. Obviously, or my cousin wouldn't have 4 kids by 3 baby daddies. Her life is chaos, and there was surely never a right time for her to have children, and yet she has them. I know some people are also delving into the religious aspect of this one, indicating a certain deity's plan. While comforting for a believer, it's just aggravating for me.

"Just get drunk and have sex." Yeeeeah, no. If that were true, I'd have about 8 babies by now. If you know what I know (above) about timing and all that good stuff, it's all just coincidence that you or your friend went out drinking and came home and drunkenly seduced your husband and your kid was born 9 months later. In fact, all of it is chance when you think about it. Who's to say what worked in a given cycle when there's an 80% percent chance against you every month? People who never had to really try for a baby say this a lot. My cousin also probably says this.

"Well if your mom/sister/aunt had no problems having kids, you won't either." Fertility isn't like eye color. My mom's ability to have kids has no bearing on mine.

"Stop thinking about it and it'll happen." Yes, it's true that stress can affect fertility. Allow me to tell you why. Stress can delay ovulation. Your body will withhold from ovulating because it feels that the elevated stress makes your body a less than ideal home for a fetus. Illness and travel have the same effect. If you don't ovulate, you can't get pregnant. Once you ovulate, however, your chances of conception and implantation occuring are no less than an unstressed person. Secondly, if you can tell me how to stop thinking about it, I would. Gladly. Baby rabies isn't fun.

Side note: telling a couple to "just start the adoption process and it'll happen hahaha!!" is even more obnoxious. Just don't do that. For the reasons above and also because if they're at the point where adoption is up for discussion (which they may not have shared with you), they've probably exhausted every option, along with a lot of money and time and emotion, to get pregnant. While some couples opt for adoption quickly, others don't, and they spend thousands of dollars on hormones, testing, and procedures before coming to the realization that it just isn't going to happen. Either way, there's a lot of emotion wrapped up in the decision, so joking about it is just lame.

"Well, maybe you're pregnant right now and you don't even know it!" Ummmm, if it's before I'm late, I can't argue with you on that one, because I could be. But this one is especially fun when I've just started a new cycle, and I'm sad, and get I tempted to show you my stock of tampons as evidence. When I say "no, really, I'm sure I'm not," just take my word for it.

"You should do _______. It worked for ______." Again, someone else's ability to get pregnant has nothing to do with my own. What "worked" for one person won't necessarily work for me. In the end, the only thing that works is sperm meeting egg and embryo snuggling in and growing. End of story. And even if something does "work," think of trying to conceive the same way you'd think about weight loss. The same thing doesn't work for everyone.

I'm not trying to rant and rave at anyone who's made the above statements. I probably made them myself before I knew some of the things I know. I'm just in need of a good vent. I understand that people just say things because they're excited for us, just like people asked how wedding planning was going and then how married life is. I get that. I guess I just felt a need to let out what frustrates me about this.

Eight months have probably made me a little jaded. The intial "squeeeeeeee!! We're gonna have a baby!" from the first cycle has turned into "I hope this is it" ::sigh:: As we approach the one year mark and possibly having to face testing, I understand the need for more compassion and thought in my comments to others. You never know what they're wanting and waiting for. I guess I just hope that with my little vent, others will have some compassion and thought as well.

A potpourri, if you will, of randomness

2011-01-18T13:33:00.000-07:00

I apparently suck at this whole blogging thing. Or maybe life really is just that mundane that I don't have much to write about. It's probably a mixture of both, if we're honest with ourselves.

So here's what's going on this week:

- After like 3 weeks of not being serious about the South Beach diet (during which I gained 2.5lbs) during the holidays and the wedding and all that jazz, I'm back to Phase 1 and serious again. My blood pressure medicine dosage was increased (bummer), so I gotta support its efforts.

- I'm super excited about how my sister's bridal shower planning is coming along. Salt designed the cutest invitation based on napkins I found and my sister loved it! The candy for the candy bar (which I'm so stoked about, it's ridiculous) will be here today. I have a few small other projects (like homemade tissue poms! Suggestions welcome, people...) to work on, but I think it's going to be awesome.

- Tawny Kitaen is following me on Twitter. I win at life. However, Dan doesn't know who Tawny Kitaen is, so now I feel old, and therefore FAIL. It's a draw.

- Dan and I got our preapproval for a house done this week and we get to see our first round of potential houses.... tomorrow!! So excited! I was looking at a website and saw a really cute, great-sized house with an amazing remodeled kitchen and showed it to Dan. He wanted to put an offer in then and there. Unfortunately, we discovered in talking to a realtor that the listing was out-dated and it's actually under contract, so no dice. But we have a list of 7 or 8 we want to see and we're headed out to start the search tomorrow. Dan told me to notify the apartment complex that we won't be renewing our lease at the end of March. Yay and Eek!

And now, because I haven't done it in a few weeks, I present to you....

Meal Plan Monday!

Monday: Dan and I discovered the sirloin salad at Native New Yorker and now he craves it al the time, so we went and split one. Soooo good!

Tuesday: Pot roast. Yummy yum yum. Potatoes for Dan, brocolli for me. Plus I'm going to bake some chicken to put in our salads the rest of the week.

Wednesday: Some kind of chicken. Haven't decided yet, but probably baked with a really delicious rub and served with zucchini and squash

Thursday: Pot roast taco salads with black beans and cilantro rice for Dan

Friday: Turkey chili - it's easy and will get us through the weekend as leftovers.

Hope everyone is having a wonderful week!

Back to reality, one Kingston stronger

2011-01-10T10:31:00.000-07:00

Hooooooey! It has been a looooong couple of weeks, let me tell ya. I don't think Dan and I have even gotten 24 hours to ourselves since about December 22nd. Between a pre-Christmas visit from our friend Daniel, celebrating Christmas, and the arrival of friends and family for David and Alex's wedding, things have been go-go-go for about three weeks. Not to mention, year end close at work happened last week. Looking back on it all makes my head spin, quite honestly.

Obviously, Christmas was great. My company is pretty awesome and gives us the following week off as a perk of the job. Oh, how I needed it. I was getting pretty stabby. I came back to Phoenix on December 28th, after spending the three days following Christmas helping my sister nail down some wedding arrangements. On the 29th, Daniel arrived, and on the 30th, David and Alex got into town. From then until just yesterday, we've seen them all but one day. We all spent New Year's Eve together, circled around a bonfire in my in-laws' back yard. There have been family dinners, friend dinners, tuxedo pick-ups, bachelor party (yes, I went to David's, not Alex's) and then the obvious rehearsal dinner and wedding.

Speaking of the wedding, it was beautiful. David and Alex did a first-look before the wedding ceremony, along with all the family and bridal party photos. After a sweet ceremony that had most everyone in tears, the new Mr. and Mrs. Kingston did their bride and groom photos all around their mountainous , just in time for a gorgeous pink and firey orange sunset. Their pictures are breath-taking, people. The photographers put up sneak peaks about half-way through the reception and I am in awe. And totally jealous. The wedding was fun - we danced all night with friends, and hung out by the many fireplaces with glasses of wine.

On Saturday, we had a BBQ at my in-laws' house to celebrate the new couple. Four of my father-in-law's five siblings, along with their mother, made the trip to Phoenix from all over the country and they joined us and a houseful of friends for Daniel's world famous carne asada. We stayed up late, drinking David's favorite Kiltlifter beer and chatting fireside. Yesterday, Dan and I went home to relax for a bit before heading back for Chinese food and one last night with David and Alex.

And just like that, everyone is gone. Daniel flew back to Hawaii this morning, David and Alex started their 3-day long road trip back to Baltimore. I feel like I have nothing to do when I get home tonight. I'm not used to it. The concept of coming home and cooking and having dinner with only Dan for the first time since before Christmas is completely foreign. I haven't even been in a grocery store in three weeks. This is going to be a week of detox, that's for sure.

Let's start the new year off with some giving

2011-01-03T08:40:00.000-07:00

Happy New Year! Welcome to 2011! And also, happy birthday to my awesome sister, La Hermana, Megan! I can't believe she turns 26 today. Have a great birthday, sister!

So, let's start the year off with some giving, shall we? I don't mean a giveaway, but something even better. We are all so blessed, and there are others who need blessings of their own. Kristen of We Are That Family is heading up numerous collection drives from January through May to take much-needed items to Africa in June. The collection drives are broken out by month, and January's collection is prenatal items and pregnancy tests. The goal is to support pregnant moms-to-be and help bring babies safely into the world by supplying things like pregnancy tests, prenatal vitamins, widwife support and supplies for exams, births. I am actually the contact person for this collection drive, and I'm proud to be a part of such a special project. You can check out the details of the collection here. Please check it out.

Farewell, 2010

2010-12-31T11:34:00.000-07:00

I'm stealing this from Brie and Temerity Jane, because I am just not that creative with the wrap-up stuff. P.S. You're about to see one recurring theme. Fair warning.

Edited because I apparently was too tired to be posting and didn't make sense on some of my answers. Plus I forgot links.

1. What did you do in 2010 that you’d never done before? I pretty much did everything this year as a wife for the first time. I visited Baltimore, and met Salt. My sister and I threw our parents a party, rather than the other way around. I earned a Master's degree. I was asked to be maid of honor, not once, but twice.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I don't make resolutions, really, so I guess not. This year, I need to make some though: I need to get down about 20 more pounds, and I need to get off blood pressure medication.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? Nope, but some fabulous bloggers, Amanda, Jenny, and Kallay welcomed their babies!

4. Did anyone close to you die? No

5. What countries did you visit? I didn't travel outside the U.S. this year

6. What would you like to have in 2011 that you lacked in 2010? A baby, please.

7. What dates from 2010 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? Alright, confession time. Dan and I started trying to start a family on May 12th. Honestly, nothing else really stands out as a significant date. 2009 was big for us, and I'm okay with 2010 being a little more on the mellow side.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? I graduated with my Master's degree in May.

9. What was your biggest failure? I'm feeling pretty bummed that there's no baby Kingston on the way at this point.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? Sort of. I had a cold that lead to an ear infection that lead to the discovery of a severe vitamin D deficiency and high blood pressure.

11. What was the best thing you bought? This is lame, but the aquarium for the turtles. Before we got it, I was cleaning their little container twice a week. I'm so much happier now. I can't think of anything else.

12. Where did most of your money go? Savings and paying off bills.

13. What did you get really excited about? Starting a family.

14. What song will always remind you of 2010? California Girls

15. Compared to this time last year, are you:
– happier or sadder? About the same
– thinner or fatter? Fatter. :(
– richer or poorer? Richer, in every way

16. What do you wish you’d done more of? Traveling. I wish I could have gone to visit my sister in Seattle.

17. What do you wish you’d done less of? Worrying

18. How did you spend Christmas? Like this

19. What was your favorite TV program? Old: The Office. New: Worst Cooks in America

20. What were your favorite books of the year? This is bad, but I can't think of one book I read this year, other than the South Beach Book and some random chick lit.

21. What was your favorite music from this year? I discovered Lady Gaga this year

22. What were your favorite films of the year? The Town, Despicable Me

23. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? Went to dinner with friends and family. I turned 29

24. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? A baby (see, recurring theme)

25. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2010? I discovered tall boots. Finally.

26. What kept you sane? My husband

27. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2010. I'm not always funny when I think I am.

Good-bye, Christmas

2010-12-28T17:23:00.000-07:00

Well, it's over. Another wonderful Christmas in the books. Dan and I had a great Christmas with my family. We spent Christmas Eve by ourselves, just like last year. We quite like our little tradition. We made a steak dinner, drank wine, opened gifts to each other, played Yahtzee and X-Box. We made spiked Serendipity Frrrozen Hot Chocolate, which I won in a blog giveaway. It was all fabulous. Then, we woke up at home Christmas morning. We snuggled, wished each other Merry Christmas, gave our girls Christmas cuddles, and packed up for Tucson.

Now when I was young, I wanted to open my gifts now. My sister liked to savor hers. She'd practically open hers slower just to cause me to panic. It drove me nuts. This year would have been Young Megan's perfect Christmas. We started our breakfast casseroles before gift opening. We had our traditional Christmas beer - it's usually Guinness, but we had something new this year instead. Another something new this year was my soon-to-be brother-in-law, Daniel, joining us. It was our first Christmas as a family of six, and it was fabulous to look around at so many happy Christmas faces. We took turns opening gifts, around and around in circles. After about an hour, the casseroles were done and we weren't, so we took a break to eat breakfast, then got back to it. Dan and I got an XBox Kinect from Daniel and Megan, gift cards to Chipotle, and clothes. My mom got Dan a red Rudolph nose. I got baking stuff, and a chocolate cook book. We also got something that 20-year-old me would have been pissed about: a Spot Bot. It's really awesome, trust me.

We spent the rest of Christmas day hanging out, preparing for dinner. My in-laws came down from Phoenix and it was great to see them for the holiday. We had a delicious taco bar for our Christmas dinner, and we were joined by more family. My grandparents, who usually spend Christmas with my very unjolly psychotic aunt, were able to join us for dessert. We built a fire pit in the back yard and spent the late evening talking and enjoying our company. It was a perfect Christmas Day.

The last couple of days were a blur of activity. Dan left Tucson for Phoenix Sunday afternoon after football. Between yesterday and today, Megan and Daniel ring shopped, florist shopped, phone, shoe, and cake shopped (with me, of course). We nailed down cupcake flavors, bouquets, and debated Megan's choice of two small wedding bands or one bigger band. She had a very productive week in Tucson in terms of the wedding, and they'll have only a few things to take care of on their next visit.

Now I'm home, enjoying some quiet that won't last long. The dogs are exhausted from 4 days in Tucson, and Dan's on his way home. Dan's brother, David, and his fiance, Alex, will be here in a few short days. We've got New Year's Eve plans with friends to figure out. They get married January 7th, so I'm sure they'll hit the ground running with last minute plans and arrangements, not to mention the family time with the Kingstons who will be arriving late next week. In the midst of it all is year-end close at work. I'm just hoping that on January 8th, I'm still alive and sane.

So good-bye, Christmas. You were so good to us all in 2010. Here's to a wonderful, prosperous and love-filled (Dan and I have 3 weddings to stand up in this year) New Year!

Dear Santa...

2010-12-22T08:52:00.000-07:00

Dear Santa,

I've been a very good girl this year. I am patient, a good big sister, and want nothing more than to give cuddles. I've been much better about not barking at strangers, and I promise to be even better next year. This year for Christmas, I want my own king size bed with huge fluffy blankets, my own room and/or house, an extra feeding every day, 67 stuffed animals to tear up, a heated dog bed, world domination, and a closet full of cute puppy clothes. Merry Christmas, Santa!

Love, Paisley

Dear Santa,

Butterflies. Sparkles.

Love, Clover

Random Tuesday Musings

2010-12-21T09:14:00.001-07:00

This is a looooong week at work. There's hardly anyone here, and the things I need to get done are obviously things I've managed to push off for as long as I can.
My blood pressure medication is working! However, it causes both fatigue and insomnia. Not a good combo. I finally got some good sleep last night. I took a Tylenol PM and managed to go to bed at 8 and sleep until 5am. I feel a lot better, but still feel tired when I'm awake. The doctor said I should grow out of it, hopefully soon.
You should check out Shana's 12 Days of Christmas on her blog. The prizes are super fun and cute. I should know. I've won twice already. We'll be enjoying spiked Serendipity frozen hot chocolate on Christmas Eve.
Speaking of Christmas Eve, I have to figure out what we're going to do for dinner. I think steaks would be good. I also need an activity. Last year we did our gingerbread house decorating contest. Dan's not down with that this year. I'm open to suggestions.
Nothing starts my day off better than coming to work to find a Christmas card featuring an ugly baby waiting for me at my desk. Do people know when their babies are ugly?
I'm pretty much done Christmas shopping. I still have to get some golf balls for my future brother-in-law, and some pickles for Dan. Yes, pickles. Dan asked for pickles for Christmas. I love him.
I haven't done an official Meal Plan Monday in a couple weeks. It's not that I'm not planning meals, but it all sounds so boring: burgers, chicken, turkey something, chicken, steak. See? Boring.

Aaaaand that's all I've got for now. Are you stuck at work this week?

Nine...

2010-12-17T14:51:00.000-07:00

...pounds. That's how much I've lost in 4 weeks on South Beach. Nine pounds! I'm ecstatic, honestly. I couldn't stop smiling at the doctor's office. I've been struggling to lose weight for almost a year and a half, since my first round of boot camp. It's been a sacrifice and a huge conscious effort to keep up with this new way of living, and I'm feeling very proud. It was a surprise, as well. I knew my pants were fitting more loosely, but I had no idea I'd dropped as much as 9 pounds. I feel very thankful for the support of family, friends, and coworkers for helping me keep on track and encouraging me, and I just can't wait to lost another 9. When I do, I'll be almost back to wedding weight. Nine pounds. Yay!

On the other hand, I didn't get good news on the blood pressure. I'm going to have to be medicated. It's not what I wanted, but it's what's best for my heart. I also have a significant vitamin D deficiency, so I'll be taking both prescription and over-the-counter supplements. My sister recently sent me some good info on the deficiency, and one effect is weight gain. Another is high blood pressure, which means they're probably all inter-related. I'm hoping that getting my vitamin D levels back to normal will bring things all into balance and it'll be a snowball effect. Vitamin D will hopefully support the weight loss, and the weight loss and vitamin D will aid the meds in bringing and keeping the blood pressure down. Hopefully by March, I'll be able to drop the blood pressure medication and maintain a healthy weight. I'll probably always have to supplement vitamin D, but I'd prefer that over blood pressure meds any day.

Sooooo, awesome! Nine pounds! And hopefully that's just the beginning.

Rebuilt - UPDATED

2010-12-16T09:41:00.000-07:00

So after the great Hurricane of 2010, I rebuilt my cubicle on Tuesday. my coworker reinforced it with buttresses and it's held up really well, and I added the finishing touches. Here is the outside. The lights blink, but just my luck, none of the 8 shots I got happened to catch them on. Oooof course.

I got my pink flamingos on Amazon (after perusing craigslist ads asking $50 for a "vintage" pair). Mrs. ESPN devised the ingenious method of putting them in styrofoam cups to make them stand. I bought little creepy singing puppies at Walgreen's and stole their hats. The puppies were given up for adoption to Mrs. ESPN's daughters.

I picked up poinsettias and KFC buckets after work last night. I think they add a nice festive touch to my "porch." Plus, I think the admins will enjoy them when I gift them later today.

The judging is today - not Friday like I said last week - so hopefully I win. There's also a potluck, but I won't be participating. South Beach trumps potlucks. I've done really well on it, with just a cheat here and there (gotta stay a little sane, people). We had a cookie exchange here at work, and I sent all my loot to work with Dan. Ironically, my mint meringues didn't work out and I had to bring store bought cookies. The shame. Seriously. They are so good when they come out - they're my favorite cookie that my mom makes, and I was so sad to not be able to share them. But if there's one thing people don't appreciate around the holidays, it's salmonella poisoning.

Anyway, I have my appointment with my doctor tomorrow to check my blood pressure. My blood work revealed a vitamin D deficiency, and I'm wondering if that could be contributing to the blood pressure and weight gain. Please send good thoughts - I know my blood pressure hasn't gone down over the last month, but hopefully a solution for the vitamin D will pull some double duty and help with the ticker.

___________________________________________

UPDATE: I came in 2nd in the cube decorating contest. Bummer. The general concensus (from everyone but the winners, obvs) was that I was robbed. But it's okay. The cube that beat me was very nicely done in a much more traditional style. And it was fun. I'm already cooking up next year's design...

Don't worry. Toto is okay.

2010-12-13T09:00:00.000-07:00

Last year for our cubicle decorating contest, I turned my cubicle into Brooke's Cocoa Bar with the creative help of Salt. I had fresh cocoa and all the fun stuff to put in or on it, decorated sugar cookies, chocolate chip cookies, and tried to turn my cube into a festive little wonderland. I came in second. Not bad considering I'm alone in my cube and the winners had two minds to put together and decorate.

This year, I decided to go in a different direction. Redneck Christmas. With the help of Dan's skills and my coworker's extra pair of hands, I turned my cubicle into an iconic Airstream trailer. I covered in in silver paper, then added an Airstream logo, wheels and windows and strung it with lights. Dan made me that doormat that says "Git R Done." I had a tree put up and used bobbers as ornaments, and hung little stockings for my little rednecks all named Bobby (including a Justin Bobby, R.I.P. The Hills). A coworker brought in some rickety old lawn chairs and I have plans for poinsettias in KFC buckets and my pink flamingo lawn ornaments are on their way. It was on the road to White Trashville.

But this morning, I came in to find this...

My coworker with a hilarious sense of humor left the tornado on the wall when she came in and saw the trailer has collapsed. Don't worry, Toto is okay, and with the help of FEMA, we'll be rebuilding in time to take the gold medal at judging on Friday. It'll be even awesomer.